i'm not proud. i did it. after fighting the urge, yesterday after work i went in and ordered a cheeseburger. i stared at it for 10 minutes before i just couldn't take it anymore and i rammed it down in 4 or 5 bites. i didn't even think and it was so delicious. i actually bought another and binged it immediately. this was my first meat in months and i felt awful and still do. i also experienced massive cramping and debilitating diarrheas later that night and the next morning. i think my body had become unaccustom to meats. i feel like i'm a binge eater now... like i have an eating disorder. i'm sneaking behind my gf's back (she's veggie) to sneak burgers at the greasy little diner next to my apt. I've had one other burger since my relapse. i really don't know what to do to get back on track... i feel like such a murderer... blood is on my hands.