Fear of judgement ? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 02-12-2017, 01:51 AM
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Fear of judgement ?

I kinda had a thing against vegans being so in your face and preachy about being vegan. And i saw other meat eaters annoyed of them too. Deep down i had an insecurity and i actually loved and admired the vegan lifestyle. I just haven't been strong enough to do it. What im most afriad of is being judged at this point, like how i used to judge vegans. My friends and family will think im a nut and lump me into a steryotype. I dont think I'll get praise or support, yes, from my dad but he'll still think im a nut. Signing up on this forum is my first step to being vegan. I already openly cut out dairy and every one knows. But meat too?? My heart wants to do it, but i might end up doing it in secret. Has anyone else been afraid of comming out as a vegan.
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#2 Old 02-12-2017, 05:50 AM
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I think lots of people have this problem. I was lucky because I became a vegetarian as a teen at home. My mother just made separate meals for me. No arguing no criticism. When I left home I just started dropping things like dairy out of my diet and replacing them with vegan/vegetarian products.

Some people are insensitive or ignorant enough to criticise or make fun of you but you can either ignore them or explain why you are following a vegan life style. No point getting into a heated argument though.Some people will never understand. I just tell them to look into what goes on in the meat, dairy etc industries and leave it at that if people are unreasonable.

My husband was not a veggie when we married but he is now. My mother-in-law even makes special meals for us when we visit.

I think it gets easier as time passes. I find the smell of animal products revolting now. Can't be in the same house as cooking meat.

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#3 Old 02-12-2017, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Alicia Laucirica View Post
I already openly cut out dairy and every one knows. But meat too??
Interesting. That's pretty much the opposite of me. I still drink goat's milk and eat cage free eggs, but I don't eat meat at all - No, not even fish(the jif peanut butter I eat says it has omega 3 so that's good enough for me). And I agree with BlueMts that there's no point getting into arguments with people. If someone asks why I'm a vegetarian I always answer with something like, "well you know animals on those big, meat industry, factory farms are treated really badly so I just choose not to support that. But I'm never preachy about it.. I mean people can do what they want. That's just what I choose to do." And I say all that in a regular conversational tone.

I'm pretty sure you'll find, as I have, that when people realize that you're cool and not a 'pushy vegan' that they'll be cool with you.
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Last edited by Ahimsa101; 02-12-2017 at 06:09 PM.
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#4 Old 02-12-2017, 06:26 PM
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Interesting. That's pretty much the opposite of me. I still drink goat's milk and eat cage free eggs, but I don't eat meat at all - No, not even fish(the jif peanut butter I eat says it has omega 3 so that's good enough for me). And I agree with BlueMts that there's no point getting into arguments with people. If someone asks why I'm a vegetarian I always answer with something like, "well you know animals on those big, meat industry, factory farms are treated really badly so I just choose not to support that. But I'm never preachy about it.. I mean people can do what they want. That's just what I choose to do." And I say all that in a regular conversational tone.

I'm pretty sure you'll find, as I have, that when people realize that you're cool and not a 'pushy vegan' that they'll be cool with you.
Not what I planned on responding to, but--
That Jif with omega 3 contains fish and gelatin. I looked at it thinking it would have algae, but nooooo-from http://www.jif.com/products/peanut-b...r-with-omega-3

PEANUT BUTTER (MADE FROM ROASTED PEANUTS AND SUGAR, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: MOLASSES, FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS [RAPESEED AND SOYBEAN], MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, SALT), ANCHOVY AND SARDINE OIL, TILAPIA GELATIN, TOCOPHEROLS AND CITRIC ACID (ANTIOXIDANTS).
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#5 Old 02-12-2017, 07:06 PM
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Not what I planned on responding to, but--
That Jif with omega 3 contains fish and gelatin. I looked at it thinking it would have algae, but nooooo-from http://www.jif.com/products/peanut-b...r-with-omega-3

PEANUT BUTTER (MADE FROM ROASTED PEANUTS AND SUGAR, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: MOLASSES, FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS [RAPESEED AND SOYBEAN], MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, SALT), ANCHOVY AND SARDINE OIL, TILAPIA GELATIN, TOCOPHEROLS AND CITRIC ACID (ANTIOXIDANTS).
Wow, I definitely won't be eating that anymore. Thank you.
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#6 Old 02-12-2017, 07:37 PM
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Gelatin is a real trap. You have to read the labels carefully and it doesn't hurt to have a list of the food numbers with you when you shop.

Alicia, I think Silva's way of responding to people who ask why you are switching to veggie is just right.
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#7 Old 02-12-2017, 07:57 PM
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Gelatin is a real trap. You have to read the labels carefully and it doesn't hurt to have a list of the food numbers with you when you shop.

Alicia, I think Silva's way of responding to people who ask why you are switching to veggie is just right.
I don't typically read labels at all anymore, I just don't eat meat. But I went and looked up gelatin and sure enough it comes from animals that were killed. And obviously fish oil comes from fish that were killed. Oh well, I don't like killing animals so I will have to start reading those labels again lol. Knew I came back to this forum for a reason. I hope you're finding it helpful as well so far Alicia.
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#8 Old 02-12-2017, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Alicia Laucirica View Post
I kinda had a thing against vegans being so in your face and preachy about being vegan. And i saw other meat eaters annoyed of them too. Deep down i had an insecurity and i actually loved and admired the vegan lifestyle. I just haven't been strong enough to do it. What im most afriad of is being judged at this point, like how i used to judge vegans. My friends and family will think im a nut and lump me into a steryotype. I dont think I'll get praise or support, yes, from my dad but he'll still think im a nut. Signing up on this forum is my first step to being vegan. I already openly cut out dairy and every one knows. But meat too?? My heart wants to do it, but i might end up doing it in secret. Has anyone else been afraid of comming out as a vegan.
Turning vegetarian won't happen overnight, but tarry, take your own time, make a decision for yourself over a period of time our cravings will subside. That was what happened in my case.
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#9 Old 02-12-2017, 08:09 PM
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If you are a lacto-vegetarian and eat cheese look on the label to find out if it made with rennet or non-animal rennet.

Rennet comes from the stomachs of baby calves. Too, too sad and just plain wrong.
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"The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men." - Leonardo Da Vinci, Italian Painter, Sculptor, Architect, Musician, Engineer, and Scientist

When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. ~Ingrid Newkirk
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#10 Old 02-12-2017, 08:26 PM
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If you are a lacto-vegetarian and eat cheese look on the label to find out if it made with rennet or non-animal rennet.

Rennet comes from the stomachs of baby calves. Too, too sad and just plain wrong.
No, pretty much just goat's milk and cage free eggs. But I'll certainly keep that in mind in case I ever do buy cheese.

Even peanut butter though.. I thought that at least would be safe. And when I'm eating out or at someone else's house I just eat whatever is placed in front of me(unless it's meat) and don't complain.
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#11 Old 02-13-2017, 06:27 AM
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I didn't commit to being veg for some time. I'd say things like I'm just seeing how it goes, but until it became normal for me, I didn't discuss my change. You leave yourself vulnerable to arguements, so it's best to have as much truth in research and experience before others find weaknesses
After time you'll find patterns in what to look for. I've been finding omega dha added to foods like spaghetti sauce, and soymilk from algae, which is important to me, but I know it's usually fish based. PB having fish I did find bizarre! You'll see it in things from margarine to Orange juice.
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#12 Old 02-13-2017, 11:05 AM
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Vegans I think trip the same switch psychologically as, say, being the designated driver at a party, or the friend who doesn't drink ever, socially. It makes people automatically defensive of their "addiction"...I was really proud of a friend of mine recently for calling himself an animal product addict, because he's seen Cowspiracy, and Earthlings, etc and it takes real self awareness to stand up and say hey maybe it's not OK to do whatever everyone else is doing.

People are naturally intimidated by people who are more creative, enlightened, strong, etc...I'm not saying at all that vegans are perfect, there are vegan alcoholics, and mean or shallow vegans too, but overall vegans are tripping the human psychological switch of defensive inferiority complex, that is the conclusion I've come to.

Personally I am bad at handling other people's neuroses, though.

For me it was more like I didn't want to say I was vegan until I was sure I really was, and that I wasn't going to backslide. The longer I was vegan the more open I became, and the more urgency I felt about being open about it.

Everyone has a different personality but yeah I think young vegans in particular are strong. I always admire people who said they went vegan at fourteen or seventeen, I am like wow you are some kind of prodigy, because to rise above peer pressure in your teens in commercial Western culture is pretty intense.

"Thinkers may prepare revolutions, but bandits must carry them out"~
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#13 Old 02-13-2017, 11:29 AM
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No, pretty much just goat's milk and cage free eggs. But I'll certainly keep that in mind in case I ever do buy cheese.

Even peanut butter though.. I thought that at least would be safe. And when I'm eating out or at someone else's house I just eat whatever is placed in front of me(unless it's meat) and don't complain.
If you're going to continue eating eggs, you might want to look for "pasture raised" eggs instead of cage free. Most "cage free" chickens never actually get to go outside and they are kept in enclosures which don't allow them any room to move.
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#14 Old 02-14-2017, 01:24 AM
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I can see that the vegan community is full of bright wonderful people. But are there any fakes and phonys? How do you spot them?
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#15 Old 02-14-2017, 01:26 AM
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I dont want to eat eggs, even when i did eat meat i cut out dairy for health reasons. So im ok. Thanks though, ill tell my fam so they can
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#16 Old 02-14-2017, 04:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Alicia Laucirica View Post
I can see that the vegan community is full of bright wonderful people. But are there any fakes and phonys? How do you spot them?
Not completely sure what you mean by fakes and phoneys, but if you mean a-holes, stay away from vegan Facebook groups. That is the place where I've seen the most militant vegans.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge

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#17 Old 02-14-2017, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Alicia Laucirica View Post
I kinda had a thing against vegans being so in your face and preachy about being vegan. And i saw other meat eaters annoyed of them too. Deep down i had an insecurity and i actually loved and admired the vegan lifestyle. I just haven't been strong enough to do it. What im most afriad of is being judged at this point, like how i used to judge vegans. My friends and family will think im a nut and lump me into a steryotype. I dont think I'll get praise or support, yes, from my dad but he'll still think im a nut. Signing up on this forum is my first step to being vegan. I already openly cut out dairy and every one knows. But meat too?? My heart wants to do it, but i might end up doing it in secret. Has anyone else been afraid of comming out as a vegan.
If you want to be vegan, be vegan. If you're afraid people will think you're a nut because of it, make sure you're not being a nut. Let people judge you on what you're actually like, not based on what they think you're like based on cartoon stereotypes. Be open about what you do, but be cautious about engaging others on why you do it. Unless they seem to really want to know. Honestly, from what you write it sounds like whatever you do, you're afraid of being judged: by vegans if you don't become one, and by meat-eaters if you do. Just be the kind of vegan you'd like as a friend if you were still a committed meat-eater. Do you actually know preachy judgmental vegans, or did you just believe that's what vegans are like because there are meat-eaters saying that about them? Whenever I see a post about vegans, like on Quora.com, that says something like "Why are vegans so combative and preachy?" I tell them to take it up with any combative vegans who are tormenting them in real life. Those are the only ones who need any dealing with.
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#18 Old 02-14-2017, 02:36 PM
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da*m it, thx for info
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#19 Old 02-14-2017, 04:02 PM
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If you're going to continue eating eggs, you might want to look for "pasture raised" eggs instead of cage free. Most "cage free" chickens never actually get to go outside and they are kept in enclosures which don't allow them any room to move.
I appreciate this information. But I'm guessing these "pasture raised" eggs aren't cheap though. Oh well, I keep reading about how super healthy eggs are so I may just have to start shelling out the extra dinero. Anyway thanks again for the heads up.
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#20 Old 02-15-2017, 04:42 AM
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Only the egg industry promotes eggs as super healthy. Other than cholesterol, and I guess some vitamin d, they have the same nutrition as plant foods
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#21 Old 02-15-2017, 07:13 AM
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I think the first line of your post was the answer - you've recognized you used to pass judgment before realizing that there was something you enjoyed about such. Come to terms with this and you will be happy in your endeavors.

You obviously have the ability to sense that you can gain something positive in such changes in your life, so doing what is necessary for your happiness may help you provide it to others in like situations after/as you begin to accomplish your goal.
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