Cravings, being bullied and Veganism. - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-01-2016, 05:11 PM
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Cravings, being bullied and Veganism.

Hiiiii


I'm Alyna and I'm new to this forum.

Because frankly speaking, this might help me stay positive and motivated. Since people in real life, people who I call friends and family scold, lecture, make fun of me and always ask those incredibly stupid questions. "PLANTZ HAV FEELINGZ 2" "In Islam you NEED to eat meat its Allah's blessing" .. Said by a friend's mom. They tag me in videos making fun of vegans which I can make fun of myself but making fun of factory farming just hit me hard.

Please bare with me because this is going to be a long one and I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read or respond.

I was an on and off vegetarian for quite some time because I never really liked eating meat and just the idea of eating something that once has a heart just like mine really sickened me. So more than 1 year ago, I became a vegetarian and still ate dairy. Because I just love (and still do) the taste of cheese and eggs. In fact, I would order breakfast for dinners and I loved eggs too much. Couldn't let go. I was made fun of even then. Friends bullied me, made fun of me and always rolled their eyes whenever their people who didn't know me would ask me why I'm not eating meat. "She's a vegetarian hahahahaha" "You do know you need protein right". Sigh. I continued to keep my chin up and just laugh at myself and how "weird" it is that I don't eat dead animals. I watched Gary's Best Speech Ever 3 months ago and that was the extra push I needed to start my vegan journey which I always knew I would. I read 100's if not 1000's of articles on factory farming and everything that has a hint of cruelty in it. I can tell you guys that this has been a great decision that I made. I am more careful, I feel educated on this matter and I feel like since Quran says, "God is Merciful"...We should try to be merciful and kind too. You can't talk about Islam promoting peace when you do promote violence in some way. Whether it is harsh criticism, which by the way I find ironic considering Muslims should know how it feels like to be bullied and stereotyped.. I know I do or when you eat animal products on a daily basis not even try to reduce the intake just a little bit .. Or if someone who does, discourage them and humiliate them.

But I can't tell you how difficult it is to be a vegan in Pakistan. But doesn't come close to what animals go through. At least I am free to walk out of my house and breathe fresh air, or go to a forum for help.

I was over at my friend's place after an exam and since I would hate to just say NO to her mom's food and offending her more, I said that I can't eat meat. Didn't say vegan, but my friend pointed it out. The mom didn't take it well and told me that meat eggs milk is blessing and you should not reject it and we have canine teeth and it is even worse if you want to save them because they are in pain. Now this is where I got mad and disrespected her constantly by interrupting her because she wouldn't let me speak and she was attacking my beliefs. I told her no where it says I HAVE to. It says I can eat whatever I want as long as it is halal and not the result of cruelty. I said factory farming is EXACTLY that. I don't mind having a cruelty free egg and milk or even meat of a chicken that lived a beautiful life but since I can't have that, I won't eat it. The way our grandparents consumed these was very different and far less cruel than the way it is now. To which she excused it as "well we have no choice and you are being brainwashed" lol. She didn't stop and I got up and went to my friend's room. Where I started crying and none of my friends wanted to help. They instead said "moms will be moms, you shouldn't have done that". I wouldn't have had she just let me be.

My mother has been supportive. Made me veggie biryani haha and is a sweetheart. But still wants me to have milk to which she said: Drink any kind of milk but please do I worry about your bones. She's so supportive and even cooked me dairy free biscuits. My sister was baking cupcakes and baked me 2 tiny vegan cupcakes which tasted great.

My boyfriend has been supportive after several debates but worries that since I work at night, and can't really go to kitchen.. I am not having enough food. He is against factory farming and promises that he will shop for cruelty free shampoos, etc. As for almond, soy milk etc are very expensive in Pakistan so he can't.


My friends and people in general have been very mean and don't invite me over anymore, they hate being around me. I have learned to be flexible. But they still exaggerate. I don't even mind sitting at a McDonald's. I'm happy with my fries which are cooked in vegetable oil. They still feel uncomfortable and since I have anxiety/social anxiety I've been having breakdowns and feel depressed because I feel left out and not wanted or liked. Because I am too choosy and "difficult".

Plus.. The substitutes here are very rare to find (cheeses, milk) and expensive very expensive. I am craving a cheese pizza as I write this @ 4AM but instead of ordering I decided to write on this forum. Helps.

I talked to Gary Yourofsky and he was really understanding, helpful and kind. He told me I need to find people like me who are tolerant and have a thirst for knowledge. So far.. I've been unsuccessful.


Hopefully, I will find friends and people who will understand me. It is very easy to be there for a girlfriend when she's having boy problems because that's expected from them.. But what if she's going through something like this? Sighs. Crickets. But I don't expect them to. I only wanted them to accept it and move on.


Also. My egg cravings are bugging me. I miss having eggs with toast and hash-browns. It was a tradition and I miss miss having it so much. I also miss adding lots of cheese in my pasta and having cheese pizza. Haven't had pizza in months because vegan pizza just won't cut it without any good cheese substitute here. Please advice me. As the cravings for junk food are getting really bad. Is there any site that ships vegan items to Pakistan by any chance? Because I am never, ever ever.. Getting back with dairy. :P

No vegan eateries either. Waiters always make a face when I say "no chicken, eggs, honey or dairy in my sandwich thanks" :3 I don't have the guts to ask for no cheese in my hand-tossed pizza. I'm not kidding you, they'll actually think I'm crazy.

So that's about it. Sorry for the grammatical errors and thank you!

Last edited by alybo5; 06-01-2016 at 05:28 PM.
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#2 Old 06-01-2016, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alybo5 View Post
Hiiiii


I'm Alyna and I'm new to this forum.

Because frankly speaking, this might help me stay positive and motivated. Since people in real life, people who I call friends and family scold, lecture, make fun of me and always ask those incredibly stupid questions. "PLANTZ HAV FEELINGZ 2" "In Islam you NEED to eat meat its Allah's blessing" .. Said by a friend's mom. They tag me in videos making fun of vegans which I can make fun of myself but making fun of factory farming just hit me hard.

Please bare with me because this is going to be a long one and I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read or respond.

.

Hi Alyna,

Thank you for joining the forum, and telling us about your experiences as a new vegetarian / vegan.

Yes, many of us have experienced what you have, especially those of us who became vegetarian at a young age.

You might enjoy this Islamic vegetarian website: http://www.islamicconcern.com/


.

_________

Specific recommendations for a healthy diet include: eating more fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and grains; cutting down on salt, sugar and fats. It is also advisable to choose unsaturated fats, instead of saturated fats and towards the elimination of trans-fatty acids."
- United Nations' World Health Organization
http://www.who.int/topics/diet/en/
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#3 Old 06-01-2016, 06:07 PM
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You're friends with way too many jerks.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge


Last edited by jessandreia; 06-01-2016 at 06:12 PM.
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#4 Old 06-01-2016, 06:38 PM
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Hi and welcome . Please make sure you are eating enough food. For lots of people, being young and depending upon others for food makes it difficult to be vegan. Your cravings for eggs and cheese pizza are food cravings, you need some calories. A weak sickly vegan never helped an animal! Eat!

Now what kind of non animal foods do you have around the kitchen? Rice, root vegetables, flour, oats? Any beans, lentils, peas, garbanzos? Vegetables, fruits? Let us know, we can come up with easy things to cook. Oh, yes, to be a vegan, you really must cook--but it is way easier than cooking the gross meat stuff we all grew up with don't worry.
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#5 Old 06-01-2016, 07:44 PM
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I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. But you showing up here shows that you are incredibly smart, strong, and motivated! I think something that would really help you in to keep yourself as educated as possible! The one thing that I would suggest is to keep yourself educated as much as possible! I am sure that you are already very educated, actually education might not even be the right word. More like daily motivation. Take some time out of each day to do some vegan education/motivation - whether its books, documentaries, youtube videos... that is the only thing that will keep you motived in such a negative community. For education, I watch YouTube videos daily, especially That Vegan Couple and Bite Size Vegan. That Vegan Couple make videos daily sometimes multiple times a day with tons of vegan inspiration. I never get sick of watching them!!!

You just need to meet those oppositions with information. Not necessarily vocally- its your choice if you want to argue with them, but at least have the answer in your own mind so that when they make a silly argument you don't feel like your beliefs are being threatened, and you can easily counter their argument (in your mind or vocally- you choice!). Remember you are reminding people that what they are doing is wrong, which on some level they already know, and they don't want to think about it so they get angry. Especially when religion is involved - the thought that they are contributing to something that might actually not go with their religious beliefs - really makes people uncomfortable. I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong- you are definitely doing the right thing! Maybe just remember that their anger comes from their guilt, not from a personal problem with you.

I wish you the absolute best of luck and please keep us updated on how you are doing!!!

Also, education will help with the cravings! Just keep reminding yourself where the food comes from, and what those animals go through, and how unhealthy it is for your body... and soon you will stop thinking of it as food!
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Last edited by wildflowerliz; 06-01-2016 at 07:46 PM. Reason: Added last paragraph
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#6 Old 06-01-2016, 10:45 PM
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There shouldn't be any cravings if you're in your right mindset. People have cravings even if they already eat that animal food, anyway.

From my past experience going vegan (my very first attempt) I've learned that you have to eat enough, just like LedBoots said. You will feel weak and might think that it's the lack of animals in your tummy. I believe I ate half of the daily calorie requirement, because I erased all animal products and ate what's left. I was probably into vitamin, mineral and protein deficit aswell.

I have not experienced that much negativity as a vegan, mainly because I've few people in my life, and I live alone in dorms (apart from my roommate), and I don't openly talk about my states of mind. People have trated me differently, though. As if I was fragile or delicate. Statements such as "have you got anything to eat?" or "people need to have a balanced diet" or "you must be starving" or "why?". It's a good indicator that they don't know much about it. To the question whether I've enough to eat I respond to them that I probably eat twice as much as they do.

By the way, protein? I dunno much about it, but the dorm roomate says that one can take up to around 30 grams of it per meal, which can be easily done with the right vegan foods. As for vegetarian protein? They must be crazy stating that a vegetarian might be lacking it, as cottage cheese or whole milk is so dense in protein. What are they even talking about? Speaking of dairy calcium (and you probably know it), your relatives and friends are kinda wrong. Calcium is indeed in milk, but you just piss a whole lot of it away.
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#7 Old 06-02-2016, 12:18 AM
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W e l c o m e !

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My usual answer: I have never heard a convincing reason to eat meat.
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#8 Old 06-02-2016, 01:41 AM
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Hi and welcome Alyna - congratulations on your compassionate decision x

I always admire people who are vegetarian or vegan in countries where it is so difficult to be accepted. I'm very lucky that the UK doesn't regard vegans as oddities (well, not often anyway!).

I expect you already know about these websites but I'll post them anyway:

Vegan & Vegetarian Pakistan Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/VegetarianPakistan/

Pakistani Vegetarians Facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/155684484529399/

Pakistan Vegetarian Society

http://www.animalconcerns.org/resour...705183&catid=5
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#9 Old 06-02-2016, 12:24 PM
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Mercy For Animals has a beautifully-made Vegetarian Starter Guide, free to download: http://www.mercyforanimals.org/files/VSG.pdf On page 13 it summarizes vegan nutrition. It also has very easy meal idea throughout,


Also, here are nutrients to focus on as a vegan: http://veganhealth.org/articles/dailyrecs


.

_________

Specific recommendations for a healthy diet include: eating more fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and grains; cutting down on salt, sugar and fats. It is also advisable to choose unsaturated fats, instead of saturated fats and towards the elimination of trans-fatty acids."
- United Nations' World Health Organization
http://www.who.int/topics/diet/en/
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#10 Old 06-02-2016, 10:40 PM
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you can google some home made vegan cheeses that are pretty good, give it a try. Also, ever tried nutritional yeast on your pasta?


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#11 Old 06-05-2016, 06:12 PM
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Thanks for the messages you guys. I attended a friend's birthday today where over 20 people were ganging up on me and were making fun of what I will eat. A friendly was feeding me "mash potatoes" but it ended up being chicken and she didn't even apologies for doing that intentionally. Had to hold back tears because of the things that were said to me. Every one was blaming me for not being about to laugh at myself. But I have. I have done that.. Joking and bullying someone is a huge difference. But I've learned that people who can make a big and a positive impact, usually start out small and inferior. It only makes me stronger. I don't make a fuss about being a vegan at all but people around me do. Then they complain about how stuck up I am.
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#12 Old 06-05-2016, 07:37 PM
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With friends like that, who needs enemies.

Stop being friends with those a-holes. You'll find better ones.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge


Last edited by jessandreia; 06-05-2016 at 07:46 PM.
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#13 Old 06-05-2016, 08:05 PM
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Holy crap... Going through a situation like that, you seem very dedicated... And I'm not being sarcastic; I applaud you. Never would I have thought that it was possible for a person to be vegan in Pakistan!
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#14 Old 06-06-2016, 05:51 AM
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anyone who has had the guts to practice an anti-cruelty lifestyle has been questioned, taunted, contradicted, bullied and so on. I think many of the posts here on Veggie boards are about the same thing. Even Gary Yourofsky has to constantly defend his right not to take part in the cruelty.
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#15 Old 06-06-2016, 07:04 AM
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Wow I am sorry that you are going through that! Your friends are incredibly disrespectful. You have chosen a lifestyle that is compassionate. I think most of the cravings should go away when you eat more calories. How are you on seeds and nuts?

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#16 Old 06-06-2016, 12:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gita View Post
anyone who has had the guts to practice an anti-cruelty lifestyle has been questioned, taunted, contradicted, bullied and so on. I think many of the posts here on Veggie boards are about the same thing. Even Gary Yourofsky has to constantly defend his right not to take part in the cruelty.
I must be extremely lucky then. The most people have done to me is ask me if I want meat as a light joke. In the almost 3 and half years that I haven't eaten meat, they've never bullied me nor fed me meat on purpose. I think there is a huge difference between being questioned and being bullied. What her friends are doing is the latter.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge

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