Please don't flame me. My situation is as horrible as the title suggests and I need help/advice.
Another warning just in case: don't read on if you will just be upset by this, it's graphic.
I started a new job recently and I didn't know it at the time but the job includes gutting fish and taking live fish out of the water, into bags, weighing them and handing them over to a usually ecstatically happy customer. The live fish are never fed so I am also actively partaking in starving them. Once I threw in some cut-up mushrooms and they seemed like they had no clue what food was and then they gulped it up. Yesterday I had to fish out a lobster that was half eaten by the other lobsters in the tank because they were so hungry.
I took part in these barbaric acts convincing myself that it was okay and that I wasn't vegan any more, i.e. I eat fish so there's no reason to not gut fish.
That's true though, if I ate fish, then I should have no objections to killing them and gutting them, right? Surely that's logical.
Needless to say, I've seen enough and have felt so sick.
Obviously I can't keep the job and I feel sick at the mere thought of animal products...