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#91 Old 03-15-2015, 05:40 AM
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They really are controlling, I have talked with my brother before about how things are, especially how they react to confrontations with my other brother who is much heavier than me. He'll beat me up and somehow I am still in the fault when really things just did not go his way.. This forum has kind of unintentionally turned into a sob story of sorts so I am sorry for that everyone, I'm suprised I am still getting replies even though I am like a "lost cause" in a way till around 24 which is a far way. Maybe I just havent been treated the right way because this attention even at this point where are all I can talk about is the problems that come along with not being allowed to be vegan does make me a bit happy. You all did not just throw me to the side when I told you straight up there was honestly nothing I could do and I really appreciate it! :blush:
Honey, I wouldn't wait until you're 24 to get out of there. When you turn 18, you can get some student loans and go across the country to school if you want to. Try not to take any money from your parents; work and go to school, don't live at home.

In fact, apply now if you're a junior/senior for FAFSA and grants, scholarships, etc. There are unclaimed free scholarships every year. My daughter received $3000 for being of part Lithuanian descent and female--there are some interesting opportunities out there, but you'll have to spend time ferretting them out.

Some parents control their young adult offspring by withholding money, especially relating to university expenses. Allowing them to control your eating habits until you are a man of 24 years is not necessary. Take a breath and work for what you want.

Not just for the vegan thing-- of course I want everyone to be vegan, but for yourself, do some things out of the house even if it takes an hour or two to walk there. Walking is healthy anyway. Finding and pursuing interests outside of your family's influence will help you become stronger, more independent, and happier.
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#92 Old 03-15-2015, 09:51 AM
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I just checked out the FAFSA website, as soon as High School is over for me and I graduate I will go and work at it. The plan you just set out sounds like a great thing to do, though when the time comes to choose a college, do you think I should give my parents a warning of sorts? That if they do not allow me to become a vegan I will just set out on my own? Or do they not even deserve one? Your completely right, when my parents ask if we are happy and feel independent and all this other stuff, its implied we better say yes which is ridiculous they can even force a yes out of me when asking a "question". Its not that I am weak or anything like that, its just that I need to please them till I can set out on my own if they dont accept what I want to do.. Well.. I guess that is weakness though. Oh well, I am learning alot with everyones help here. I plan on making a big post later to all vegans and vegetarians about an idea I have. It'll be exciting.
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#93 Old 03-15-2015, 01:14 PM
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I just checked out the FAFSA website, as soon as High School is over for me and I graduate I will go and work at it. The plan you just set out sounds like a great thing to do, though when the time comes to choose a college, do you think I should give my parents a warning of sorts? That if they do not allow me to become a vegan I will just set out on my own? Or do they not even deserve one? Your completely right, when my parents ask if we are happy and feel independent and all this other stuff, its implied we better say yes which is ridiculous they can even force a yes out of me when asking a "question". Its not that I am weak or anything like that, its just that I need to please them till I can set out on my own if they dont accept what I want to do.. Well.. I guess that is weakness though. Oh well, I am learning alot with everyones help here. I plan on making a big post later to all vegans and vegetarians about an idea I have. It'll be exciting.
I would just calmly say that I am looking for college funding so that I don't have to rely on parents so much. And that I want to get a new start so want to go away to school. It's not just the veganism; it sounds as if they want to control you in other ways, i.e the bike. So I sure wouldn't want that till my mid-twenties!

Look forward to seeing your ideas.
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#94 Old 03-16-2015, 11:53 AM
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Where would I post something like that it?
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#95 Old 03-17-2015, 01:55 PM
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Simplistically you can replace all the meat you eat with soya or tofu products. That's it. Whether for lunch or dinner. Of course continue eating vegetables and develop your diet to your own tastes over time but this is a good starting point. Also ensure you drink fortified plant-based milks and take a vegan multi-vitamin daily.

Why is the suffering and killing of animals wrong? Because the value of a sentient organism's life is priceless. They are their own beings and have their own lives and loves. They have higher emotions and thought processes. Their minds are different from ours in degree, not kind - meaning that fundamentally there are critical similarities.
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#96 Old 03-17-2015, 05:54 PM
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You are real late to the party.. Those are all great ideas but its pretty known to everyone thats seen my post that I am a lost cause till I leave the "nest".
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#97 Old 03-18-2015, 04:10 PM
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Foods like kombucha and water kefir have naturally occurring B12, and you can make them yourself. You could also ferment your own sauerkraut if you are feeling ambitious.
I'd check this out from another source. It was formerly thought that certain seaweeds had B-12, but they don't- they have something that gave a false positive test to chemical assays for B-12. I don't know for a fact that kombucha and kefir do not have it, but be safe- take a supplement. My B-12 tablets are quite inexpensive and have a lot of B-12.

About fixing your own food so your parents don't have to cook extra stuff: that will make things easier on your folks, since their meals are so meat-centric. Most vegan foods are no more expensive (or even cheaper) than meats, etc, except for some convenience "fake meats" which can often cost more than the real thing!

Peasant (1963-1972) and Fluffy (1970s?-1982- I think of you as 'Ambrose' now)- Your spirits outshone some humans I have known. Be happy forever.

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#98 Old 03-19-2015, 10:14 AM
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Matthew, try to calm down. There are a few things in your last post that are extremely worrying.

You're a teenager. You can afford to eat a lot of food, even junk food, right now. Weight loss isn't a goal, health is-- and that includes mental health, which includes a body-positive attitude and a spirit of generosity toward yourself and others. There's nothing wrong with eating! If you ever feel that your feelings about food are becoming obsessive or negatively impacting your quality of life, you should consider speaking to someone.

You're nearly old enough to go away to college. The situation you're in now will soon be changing. Don't despair. It's fine to eat animal products for the next year or two, if you have no other choice. You don't have to feel guilty. Just do what you can reasonably do for now, and adopt a vegan lifestyle when it's feasible.

I don't know what sort of martyr you imagine yourself becoming, but it doesn't sound healthy and it's nothing that would help the cause in any way. Violence is NEVER helpful. If you're having these thoughts, you need to speak to someone. If you really want to help animals, you can volunteer at an animal sanctuary, attend peaceful protests, write to lawmakers, open your own vegan restaurant-- when you're older and living on your own.

Please be safe.
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#99 Old 03-19-2015, 11:39 AM
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Please just eat healthy right now, even if that means eating a steak here and there. Just eat more of the vegetarian portion of the meals and less of the meat portions. This is going to be an unpopular opinion but I, for one, don't believe that eating some meats in moderation is unhealthy. If you became unhealthy because you're trying to avoid animal products in a nearly impossible setting, it'll only give your parents more reasons to believe veganism is unhealthy.
Don't do anything stupid. *hugs*

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#100 Old 03-19-2015, 02:54 PM
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MOD POST- The OP's most recent post has been removed, for being against VB's posting rules.

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#101 Old 03-19-2015, 04:28 PM
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Understood..
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#102 Old 03-20-2015, 12:13 PM
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Same here.. I'm kind of broken now..
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#103 Old 03-21-2015, 07:58 PM
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Okay so.. I did not think I would admit this but I have Bulimia Nervosa.. It started right after my parents said no and.. I am trying to beat it right now on my own without my parents.. I know I have it because this past week I have been binging and throwing up afterward.. I wanted to apologize for my violent post I made earlier and hope I am forgiven as I am hitting the biggest wall so far in my life.. Thank you..
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#104 Old 03-21-2015, 09:36 PM
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There's no shame in admitting you have a problem. Several people on this forum, myself included, have a history of disordered eating. I struggled with restriction and bringing/purging when I was young, too, but I've been healthy for many years now. Recovery is possible and it's worth the effort.

Is it too late to see that counselor after all? What if you tell your parents that you WANT to speak to someone? You don't have to be completely open about your specific problems, but let them know that you want to speak to a professional. I can understand now why they are so wary of your interest in veganism. Right now your focus should be on recovery. You need to get well if you're going to have the happy, healthy lifestyle you want.

In my own experience, the most damaging aspect of binging was the shame. I had a nasty voice inside my head telling me that I was fat and weak for eating so much, and I believed it. Looking back on it now, I can see that I ate because I was hungry after days of strict restriction. My body was telling me that I desperately needed nutrients and energy. You NEED food to live on a very real and basic level. Your body will begin to deteriorate without proper nutrition. You'll get sick. Purging wreaks havoc on your teeth, your throat. Even years later, I can vividly recall the sensation and the smell-- it will never leave me, and I would give anything to take my 19-year-old self by the shoulders, give her a stern shaking, and tell her that she'll be so much happier when she learns to accept her body and love food again.

You're young. The things that seem vitally important to you now will seem less so in a few years. I'm 32 and about to become a mother. I weigh more now than I ever have in my life, and I have never been so happy or felt so beautiful. When you find things in life that you truly love, the shape of your body will matter hardly at all-- and, honestly, if you're an active vegan in your 20s and onward, you won't have much to worry about in that respect, anyway.

I sincerely hope you'll get the help you need. It is so difficult to see someone so young struggling with this so needlessly.
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#105 Old 03-21-2015, 09:44 PM
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1st- Have you actually been diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa, or is this a "self-diagnosis" on your part? If you believe you have a psychological disorder, you need to get qualified, professional help as soon as possible. Trying to cure yourself is not a good idea.

2nd- If you indeed have a disorder, I think it would be wrong to blame your parents, yourself or anyone else for it, because there is no blame to be laid. Being sick is no fun, but the sad truth is, sometimes we get sick. You've shown remarkable courage in talking about it here, but you need to go farther. Since you're still a minor, and legally bound to your family, you should level with your parents, and try to convince them you need to talk to a psychologist. From what you've said, your parents sound very close-minded, stubborn and even intimidating; nevertheless, if you're honest with them- really honest- you may yet bring them over to your side. If not, try to talk to another adult. Maybe there's a teacher at school you know and trust you can talk to? Or a school counselor? Does your family have a minister of some sort? Once you turn 18, in a little while, you should be able to get some help on your own, but in the meantime, you should not have to bear this thing all by yourself.

3rd- Going vegan is a wonderful thing to do, and its psychological effects can be tremendous; that said, however, veganism is not necessarily a cure, if you have a deeper, underlying issue. Get to the root of the issue first, and make veganism your secondary cause.

4th- Please don't hesitate to talk to your friends here at VeggieBoards. But also, please don't rely on the internet to solve your problems. Your problems are complex, and you deserve some personal, one-on-one attention. It's just a matter of finding it. Don't give up.

All the best....

"There is more wisdom in the song of a bird, than in the speech of a philosopher...." -Oahspe
"The thing is, you cannot judge a race. Any man who judges by the group is a pea-wit. You take men one at a time." -Buster Kilrain, The Killer Angels -Michael Shaara
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#106 Old 03-21-2015, 10:25 PM
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My understanding of OP's latest post is that this only started after his parents said no. Not that he already had bulimia nervosa before and was trying to use veganism as a way to restrict calories or using veganism as cure (Note: I am not blaming his parents for his binge eating).
His parents said no, he got angry and depressed which caused him to binge (some people will eat a lot when depressed), and because he doesn't want to gain weight again he'll force himself to throw up after realizing he perhaps ate too many calories.

OP: You should definitely talk to an adult you trust about this.

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#107 Old 03-22-2015, 06:20 AM
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Remuser, please find someone to help you with this issue. Ask your mom about that counselor, tell her you think it would help you. This disorder won't go away by itself and isn't anything to be ashamed of and is not your fault. Eating disorders can do great harm to your body, and you will have this same body for many years.
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#108 Old 03-22-2015, 09:30 AM
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The reason I want to leave my parents out of it is because when they thought I was anorexic, they were never nice, gentle, or caring about it. Only brutal when they spoke about it. They were willing to spend the money to help but they were just plain mean and said I was an embarrassment. My dad finally got over it but my mom still hasnt. While this was a self diagnosis, it was a very obvious self diagnosis considering I have all the symptoms except starving myself so I am so busy stuffing my face. I am trying not to do that today but as always my mind and stomach are saying to just do it for today, that Monday is the start of a new week and that I should do it and then go back to being healthy and active again..
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#109 Old 03-22-2015, 11:43 AM
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Its like my body and mind is screaming for just one more day.
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#110 Old 03-22-2015, 02:01 PM
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So I lost the fight and binged again then right after I threw up most of my food.. I ate an entire loaf of bread by myself.. Each one ranging from having strawberry jelly on it, some with strawberry jelly and triscuits, then some with the two and grapes on top.. I then binged on a big tub of icecream with whip cream and chocolate syrup on it.. Then a big bowl of fruit loops and finished it off with another strawberry jelly sandwich.. After this sandwich I then started to throwup..
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#111 Old 03-22-2015, 02:37 PM
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Tried hinting to my mom that I needed help and it didnt work. I told her I have been eating more and she said "good" so I said "No mom I have been eating so much its made me throw up" and she said "Its because your eating so much" ... Okay. I then tried to say I couldnt help it but she lost interest. Very annoying. I ate so much today I can't workout, I weighed myself and the scale said 155. So hopefully a bit of that is water weight considering I was 145.. I need a way to tell them other than just saying "I have Bulimia Nervosa."
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#112 Old 03-22-2015, 03:17 PM
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I talked to my dad, he said basically that I am on my own. He said I just need to do what I did in the beginning which is count calories and that I need to take care of it myself, maybe even drink protein shakes as a snack instead to help.
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#113 Old 03-22-2015, 05:25 PM
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I talked to my dad, he said basically that I am on my own. He said I just need to do what I did in the beginning which is count calories and that I need to take care of it myself, maybe even drink protein shakes as a snack instead to help.
Hi Remuser. There is a hotline you can call to get information and support on eating disorders.
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/what-we-do
Call our toll-free, confidential Helpline, Monday-Thursday from 9:00 am - 9:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm (EST): Holiday Closures

1-800-931-2237
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#114 Old 03-22-2015, 07:05 PM
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If I ever get an alone moment I will call it, my brother is always home when I am. Thank you for the number. :blush:
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#115 Old 03-22-2015, 07:56 PM
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Hi Remuser. There is a hotline you can call to get information and support on eating disorders.
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/what-we-do
Call our toll-free, confidential Helpline, Monday-Thursday from 9:00 am - 9:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm (EST): Holiday Closures

1-800-931-2237
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If I ever get an alone moment I will call it, my brother is always home when I am. Thank you for the number. :blush:
Matthew, if privacy is a problem for you, because of your brother, it looks like the NEDA website also has a "chat" function, where you can talk to them by text, like you do here, instead of by phone. It might be easier for you. Same hours as the phone #.

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Last edited by Capstan; 03-22-2015 at 08:01 PM.
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#116 Old 03-23-2015, 04:19 AM
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Alright thats even better! I am going to try using the MyFitnessPal App to track my calorie, protein, and fat intake. If someone knows of a better app or other apps please let me know. Also, do you think Protein Shakes are a good snack replacement? I think I have Gold Whey or something like that.. It stinks that my dad is actually going to make me fight this on my own. ersevere::confounded:
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#117 Old 03-23-2015, 08:32 AM
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I would advise against tracking your food intake at all. If you have an eating disorder, it's going to be very hard to eat healthily while you're watching that calorie count go up. You need to take the focus off food for a while, or shift it from how many calories you're eating to something productive like learning to cook. Also, text that hotline.
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#118 Old 03-23-2015, 01:21 PM
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I will be soon after I finish my Spanish and Chem homework. I can see your point on not tracking my calorie intake. I'm having some extreme cravings right now and am fighting it as hard as I can. I just got done with 45 minutes if HIIT Cardio on my Stationary Bike, so far so good..
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#119 Old 03-23-2015, 03:42 PM
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So the chat didnt work out, all they could do was offer me things that cost money which I can not do since my dad is unwilling to pay for it, They were able to give me some forums I could participate in though which could help maybe, I am trying to focus on not binging today so I guess I will try the forums tomorrow..
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#120 Old 03-24-2015, 07:18 PM
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I beat it.. I know it seems like I may not have had Bulimia now since I somehow beat it by myself but.. I didnt have a girl by my side during that week.. Things are going good.. I'm practicing veganism again, working on my grades and preparing.. Thanks everyone..
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