I need help becoming vegan.. - Page 3 - VeggieBoards
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#61 Old 03-10-2015, 10:29 PM
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Since you mentioned Vegan Gains on the first post...

I just now happened to come across one of his videos, and I am appalled by his attitude.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge

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#62 Old 03-11-2015, 03:33 AM
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Yeah, he calls himself a Violent Vegan in one of his videos which I think is toward his attitude.. I dont like his attitude much either, he gets a good amount of hate for it, especially when he is commenting, but I watch him for the information.
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#63 Old 03-11-2015, 06:05 AM
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Originally Posted by rasitha.wijesekera View Post
If you feel that your family wouldn't understand the animal cruelty angle, don't bring it up at all for now. That will put them on defensive. As you correctly say present them a lot of facts about health.

Don't go vegan overnight, first cut down on meat. insist on cooking something vegan and helping out in the kitchen ( you said you could cook right)

Introduce them to some vegan dishes at first and slowly cut down all the meat you are eating. This will make YOUR transition easier for THEM
I couldn't agree with you more rasitha.

We never went vegan overnight, and it is hard - you've been eating meat for 17 years, it's difficult to just stop eating it. Cutting down and transitioning is probably the best way to go. I guess I can compare it to running a marathon, you need to train first - this is sort of the same. There are a lot of tasty, low cost recipes that are vegan that you can introduce to your family that they will hopefully enjoy.
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#64 Old 03-11-2015, 06:07 AM
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This article has some good info....
http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/2009_AD...tion_paper.pdf

Sorry your parents are being so unsupportive. Sounds like they are threatened by this because they don't understand. You are growing up, becoming your own person, and questioning the soundness and ethics of things they believe and taught you, which can freak a parent out I guess. I feel some compassion for them because even though they are clearly wrong, it seems to be coming from a place of worry, confusion, ignorance, fear, loss of control. Sometimes adults feel this way and don't have the coping skills to handle it and so curse and scream and assert power to try to force things back to a way that won't threaten them so much. Be wise as you choose battles since I doubt they have the skills to be the flexible and supportive parents you want them to be and don't seem to open up easily to new ideas.

And for the record, you sound like a mature and caring person who is taking care of his health....it makes me sad that they aren't proud of you and more supportive. They ought to be! Try not to let it turn you angry and resentful or impulsively reactive the way they are being. Just hang in there, keep your cool when they are not, learn what you can right now, practice compassion for the animals wherever you can and don't worry about doing it perfectly. Just do what is practical in your current situation. Eventually some of the immediate drama will die down and they will move on to focusing on something a sibling is doing ha ha. And in a few years you will be an adult who can make independent decisions. So focus on teaching yourself what you need to know to be prepared for that day.
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#65 Old 03-11-2015, 04:25 PM
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I dont know what to do honestly except just to continue gathering information. I have COMPLETELY lost. All they had to do was state their dominant position which they always do when things dont go their way. My mom tried making me eat some Yum Yum Sauce that she filled with Mayo and Condensed Milk, which I just ignored. My brother is pissed that I dont like eating hamburgers and fries. All three of them are just downright ridiculous..
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#66 Old 03-11-2015, 04:46 PM
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You need to try to be more assertive when talking to your parents. You can't just cower every time they raise their voices at you.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge

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#67 Old 03-12-2015, 04:17 AM
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I understand what you are saying, but they have me in a position where when they say I better do something, I better do it to make sure they actually get what I need. So not only do their attitudes and the way they act to this stuff is whats stopping me, its the fact they have me in a grip to where I have no choice but to listen at this point.
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#68 Old 03-12-2015, 04:38 AM
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Your parents cannot deny you all you need,another thing they may get difficult and refuse to get you what you want, but that's when you gave to make a choice: stand up fir yourself and stand your ground if you know you are in the right, or give in in order to have material things you wish for

it takes guts to be gentle and kind

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#69 Old 03-12-2015, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by MozIsMyShepherd View Post
Your parents cannot deny you all you need,another thing they may get difficult and refuse to get you what you want, but that's when you gave to make a choice: stand up fir yourself and stand your ground if you know you are in the right, or give in in order to have material things you wish for
Life isn't always that simple, Moz.
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#70 Old 03-12-2015, 09:19 PM
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I get that your home situation is pretty rough right now.

As DocBanana (and probably others, but I skimmed through the replies...SORRY!) said, your parents' actions are coming from a place of concern.

Try to see it that way. Imagine if you had a kid and suddenly, they wanted to do something that not only went against everything you'd taught them, but was something you thought was incredibly dangerous. They don't 'know' that a vegan diet can be nutritionally balanced, so it makes sense that they'd do anything they could to stop you from doing it. It's a crazy way to show you care about someone, but it's how a lot of parents, friends and relatives react to something like this. Especially parents though because it's their job to give you sustenance.

As for what you can do.....

It sounds like they're really scared right now.

First, I would choose a time to talk to them that isn't dinner time or meal prep time. In fact, if you can find a time when food just isn't around at all, then it's a good time to do it.

After that, what I've done to address my parent's fears, is bring something up as though it's just something interesting I read. Like "Oh yeah, remember when you asked about where I get my protein? Turns out, it's in EVERYTHING. I found that really interesting"

Or, I cook my own food alongside theirs (when I visit).

So, if my mum wants to have burgers for dinner, I prepare all the salad bits for it and cook a veggie burger. She cooks up a piece of cow. But more and more often, I find her looking over at my meal and asking what it tastes like. She's even taken to eating some vego foods, she has to make a point of putting animals with it. But, it makes her a little more accepting of what I'm doing.

Only you can read the situation you're in, so don't do anything that's going to make it worse.

But, if you think something like that would work, you could always go to your mum and say "Hey, I was thinking, if we make dinner tonight, can I help with the vegetables?" or "I was thinking of making a big salad/some other kind of vegan side, to go with dinner tonight, is that okay?"

This can help on a few different levels. You can start to at least increase the amount of veggies on your plate, while helping your family see that vego food can taste nice, plus you'll be learning how to cook.

If none of that works, please don't lose heart. Even just one vegetarian meal a day can help.
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#71 Old 03-12-2015, 09:21 PM
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I think it's good that she's sending you to a counselor. As you're eating enough and being safe about your exercise routine, the counselor will have to tell your parents that you're fine. I suggest keeping a daily log of everything you eat for a week, making sure to get enough of everything, and show it to your counselor. Explain that you want to eat a healthy, plant-based diet and that you're open to suggestions on how to get all the nutrients your body needs.
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#72 Old 03-13-2015, 12:55 PM
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My dad made her not do it. Though he may have been doing it to try and help me out it ended up not helping me because I could have used the counselor to show I was healthy and that a vegan diet is healthy as well. Starting Monday I am going to start using Cronometer to help me log everything. I'm still going strong when it comes to practicing veganism so to those who have replied dont worry, I will not let go of veganism. After all I have read and seen there is no chance. If anything, I see the benefit of being prepared for veganism that I will have. Of course it still bothers me, itll bother me till I can become a vegan. I dont know if I said something that makes one of you believe that I dont want to fight for veganism for material things, I think is what you said but that is not true at all. I actually dont ask for many material things, the only thing I actually need is a car, when I said that I couldnt fight and argue because then I will lose the remaining things that do actually have health, I was literally meaning that if I argue they may take away those things as well. Then I will become unhealthy and still have lost the war, which is what it is at this point, a war. I consider the skirmishes and battles will be whenever they try to badmouth veganism then I can hit them will facts that they did not let me voice beforehand. When I do become a vegan, they will learn they were wrong to keep me from what I felt was right. I understand you feel I should continue fighting for it but, if anything I will just keep losing more and more. If thats selfish then well call me selfish, while you do that though I'll be preparing for a great life as a vegan knowing that when I leave the house I'll be doing good for animals, just becoming smart on it all now makes me feel good about myself, the health benefits are just an added bonus of excitement!!
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#73 Old 03-13-2015, 01:05 PM
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Ow sorry did not skip to the last page to read those replies by exident oeps

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Last edited by MyJade; 03-13-2015 at 01:08 PM.
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#74 Old 03-13-2015, 02:14 PM
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I think you probably referring to my post, I didn't mean it like that at all, it was just an example, please don't take it personally. Only you know your home situation and the best way of dealing with it. Is it quite a remote place you live in? I mean no public transport? I never owned a car in my life, but I guess England is quite small so it's not difficult to get about by foot/bike/bus.

Anyway, good luck, hope you manage to make the best out if the uneasy situation you are in right now.

it takes guts to be gentle and kind
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#75 Old 03-13-2015, 02:48 PM
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I wasnt I was trying to explain what I meant, everyone here including you is trying to help me so I would not be rude or confront you on it specifically, just address it. And yes, to get around I would need a car because where I live, its starting to really boom, the only place I could eat vegan thats walkable is literally McDonalds if they even have vegan. I really do appreciate everyones help and will no doubt be dedicating alot of time to study veganism and contribute here if people will even accept my words considering I can not be vegan. Really breaks my heart that I can not, I don't even like seeing people playfully throw rocks at dogs or animals, how am I supposed to deal with eating them? Its honestly not having a good effect on me, and my relationship with my parents will suffer from it no doubt.. In my thoughts it already has. All I can do though is make good of a terrible situation which is preparation which does cure a bit of the sadness. I do definitely plan on being a regular here on this website no doubt.
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#76 Old 03-13-2015, 02:51 PM
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Oh I answered the where do I live question weird. I live near a highway, in front of the mcdonalds is a pharmacy then down that road to the left and right of the highway is where everything is, its not secluded or anything, but far enough that its not walkable. I could use a bike but, they wont give me a bike either. Go figures huh?
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#77 Old 03-13-2015, 03:08 PM
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Not even a bike? What a shame...biking is such a healthy and cheap way of getting about.

it takes guts to be gentle and kind
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#78 Old 03-13-2015, 03:12 PM
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Apparently even fries at McDonald's in America are not vegan as cooked in animal fat instead of veg oil... But look into it, I may be wrong

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#79 Old 03-13-2015, 04:38 PM
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The only vegan thing McDonalds has is a salad, knowingh McDonalds, there salad may be unhealthy as well. McDonalds is very bad for you, atleast here in America it is. They do not care about health like other places may in other countries. The types of unhealthy foods that other countries may have an uproar about, Americans sadly dont care too much for, like GMOs. They really dont care. Some of us do but a majority dont so nothing is done. If I were to ask for a bike to get around they would get mad. How do I know? Ive actually asked before and they said it was a dumb idea, that I needed to get my license. How am I supposed to do that when nobody is willing to take me driving or let me use their vehicle?
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#80 Old 03-13-2015, 06:50 PM
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I've lived in the Southern US and it is really hard to get around without a car unless you live in a big city. Remuser, it sounds like you're stuck in a bad situation. Do what you can to eat as well as you can, keep reading about veganism, and start your new lifestyle as soon as you're in a better place. I hope that one day your family will support you. The best you can do is be happy and healthy.
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#81 Old 03-13-2015, 07:37 PM
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How can biking be a dumb idea? It's good for you! I guess I'm in a completely different place, different mentality, so can't really give practical advice.

Here driving instructors provide you with a vehicle so you don't have to agonise looking for one.

Do you know what you want to do at college?

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#82 Old 03-14-2015, 06:35 AM
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Where I used to live they provided a vehicle but here they do not. Yeah I want to become a Physical Therapist, I had broken my ankle playing football and took physical therapy and I loved it ever since. Hopefully I can get it, I do not have a backup plan yet. Oh! I plan on having my first vegan lunch if I can get away with it. Vegetables, Brown Rice, and Potatoes. All leftovers.
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#83 Old 03-14-2015, 06:36 AM
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They just dont want to spend the money on me to get me a bike because they feel if I am about to get a car (which I am not because they will not let me test drive theirs) then I dont need one.
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#84 Old 03-14-2015, 09:35 AM
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They just dont want to spend the money on me to get me a bike because they feel if I am about to get a car (which I am not because they will not let me test drive theirs) then I dont need one.
How about yard sales? People sell bikes all the time for very cheap. Or craigslist? I found the cutest bike ever at a flea market for $40.

And they had less cute but servicable ones for $20.

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#85 Old 03-14-2015, 12:06 PM
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It has nothing to do with cost or needing money, the only reason we moved is because my dad got a really good promotion in his company. Its just them not wanting to buy me one at all.
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#86 Old 03-14-2015, 01:11 PM
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I'm sorry that you're in hard place. I couldn't imagine my parents being mean like that to me or my sister when I was living with them. I seriously hope nothing but the best for you. No one deserves to be living in a place that puts down free thought.

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#87 Old 03-14-2015, 01:31 PM
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It has nothing to do with cost or needing money, the only reason we moved is because my dad got a really good promotion in his company. Its just them not wanting to buy me one at all.
But couldn't you come up with some money for a used bike? If your parents won't pay you for extra chores, what about for neighbors shoveling snow/raking/mowing/babysitting/parttime job/house sitting/dog walking/website creation/painting houses...

My daughter was working parttime from age 15, and babysat at 13. Besides the freedom from asking parents for every cent, there's a lot to learn out in the world.
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#88 Old 03-14-2015, 07:55 PM
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I have money, around $60 I believe. I could probably do work for money, but they have already told me they do not want me spending my money. That I need to save it up for something I actually need or save it till something I may want even more comes out, when I said I wanted a bike alot they still said no. They really do have me trapped on a lot of things. I've started trying to help my mom out more in the kitchen, for the past 3 days I have helped you by cleaning the kitchen so she could rest, then tonight I helped her prepare dinner for the UFC fights and cleaned the entire kitchen afterwards so she could rest again. I'm having fun looking informatuon up on veganism. I already know I will be having fun with it since just looking it up excites me. Maybe they will lighten up at some point, all I can do is hope, their complete lack of knowledge when it came to veganism and the refusal to believe I knew what I was talking about did it all.
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#89 Old 03-14-2015, 08:37 PM
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Why do you need their permission to spend your own money? Your parents sound terribly controlling. I hope that at least you're safe. Don't hesitate to call someone for help if you ever feel that your safety is threatened.
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#90 Old 03-15-2015, 05:14 AM
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They really are controlling, I have talked with my brother before about how things are, especially how they react to confrontations with my other brother who is much heavier than me. He'll beat me up and somehow I am still in the fault when really things just did not go his way.. This forum has kind of unintentionally turned into a sob story of sorts so I am sorry for that everyone, I'm suprised I am still getting replies even though I am like a "lost cause" in a way till around 24 which is a far way. Maybe I just havent been treated the right way because this attention even at this point where are all I can talk about is the problems that come along with not being allowed to be vegan does make me a bit happy. You all did not just throw me to the side when I told you straight up there was honestly nothing I could do and I really appreciate it! :blush:
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