I must be in the minority, but I don't feel jealous at all if my partner was flirting/being flirted with. In fact, it makes me feel pretty 'proud' ... he's an attractive man, so why wouldn't women be flirting with him? The idea of him being with another women sexually also doesn't bother me. It's rather exciting, imo. I love seeing the boy happy and if he can receive things (not just sex, btw) from other people that make him happy, it makes me happy and it's a positive thing.
Nice post - I think that's really what it's all about. Loving someone so much that you truely just want them to be happy, and they feel the same about you, and whatever gets you there is a good thing.
However, if you are feeling jealousy over your partner having sex with other women, that's quite a different thing. That's a situation where it's quite appropriate to have a response of jealousy.
Is it? Why? I see that this is obvious to you, but not so much to me. Also I would not say that I push the feelings away, I deal with them and talk them out. A feeling is just a feeling, some are pleasant, some aren't.
Anytime we try to deny feelings that we really feel, it ends up coming back to biting us in the arse in some way later on down the track.
The funny thing is that I think to be monogamous, my partner and I would be forced to deny our feelings. If I said I didn't want to sleep with the cute bartender that would be lying about an attraction I felt to him. All these feelings would just be locked inside, building and unable to be expressed. I would be fantasizing and building up my crushes in my head. Wondering what it would be like.
I'd rather get over my jealousy than every person I'm ever attracted to.
To me this is obvious, I could limit positive emotions (love, attraction) and relationships to protect myself from (I think irrational) feelings like jealousy, or I could learn to deal with certain uncomfortable feelings, and my boyfriend and I can both be free to experience any relationship we desire.