It's OK, PRP - I've been there. You look pretty young in your pic, and if you are (in your 20's lets say) you may change your mind in the next 10 or 20 years.
I would have never done myself in. I have a great education. I have been a success in many, many ways. However, I feel the best that I have ever felt in my life, and much of it is due to my Celexa/ Welbutrin. What you aren't understanding is that most depression and anxiety is caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain. With use of the meds, my chemicals are balanced and I feel so much better. I don't lose my mind over crazy things, I don't obsess about things that I can not change. I am a better wife to my husband, friend to my friends, and mother to my daughter. It's not just about me, it's about my life and those around me.
My Dad is a diabetic. Would you say that he should not take his insulin? He would have died 20 years ago without it. Would you say that an asthmatic should not take medication so that they can breath?
Depression is similar to this. There is nothing about it which is shaming, and, it doesn't make you a different person. It makes you a functional YOU.
I hardly live a life of bliss. I have a 5 year old. I am an entreprenuer in a business with which I have struggled for 10 years. I have been married for 15 years, and, trust me, that is stress enough.
My meds make my life calm, and keep me on an even keel. They make my life wonderful. It's not manufactered. It's ME and my body functioning on a good level.