Mother angry her 13 year old recieved BC from high school nurse - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-14-2006, 10:44 PM
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http://www.wroctv.com/news/story.asp?id=23408&r=l



I was watching the news today and this story caught my ear. The mother had a different prespective than I would have though:



"The school is not going to put clothes on her and her baby's back if she gets pregnant. That school is not going to feed and take her and her baby to the doctor, that's going to be me," Thomas cried. "I'm doing everything I can to keep my child from being a young mother, because none of these people who are giving her permission to do what she wants is going to be here when and if she gets pregnant," she said.



Thoughts?
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#2 Old 06-14-2006, 10:50 PM
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Why is it when it comes to birth control and abortion some people think it is fine-and-****ing dandy to go against parental rights? I don't get it.

A doctor can't prescribe an antibiotic to a kid without parental permission, but some nurse is hooking a thirteen-year old up with a hormone-based drug without parental notification?

She should be fired.
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#3 Old 06-14-2006, 10:52 PM
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Thomas was the same age her daughter is now when she was born. She doesn't want her daughter to follow in her footsteps.



"I'm doing everything I can to keep my child from being a young mother, because none of these people who are giving her permission to do what she wants is going to be here when and if she gets pregnant," she said.




Omg, that poor woman. Someone needs to take her aside and give her some counselling to get her to realise the amount of denial she is in regarding her daughter.
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#4 Old 06-14-2006, 11:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tame View Post

Why is it when it comes to birth control and abortion some people think it is fine-and-****ing dandy to go against parental rights? I don't get it.

A doctor can't prescribe an antibiotic to a kid without parental permission, but some nurse is hooking a thirteen-year old up with a hormone-based drug without parental notification?

She should be fired.

From the story:

"Still, if a clinic has "Title 10" status, it can provide a minor birth control if they are over the age of twelve, as well as HIV tests. " So it appears to be legal.



I'm not saying the school clinic SHOULD go against parental opinion.



And I had to change some words around to get it to accept the thread title, it is actually a clinic that is inside the highschool, not a random school nurse.
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#5 Old 06-14-2006, 11:22 PM
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"I'm doing everything I can to keep my child from being a young mother, because none of these people who are giving her permission to do what she wants is going to be here when and if she gets pregnant," she said.



Hopefully the child *won't* get pregnant...good thing it's less likely to happen since she has access to birth control.





The whole 'Having access to birthcontrol means that kids will be having sex they wouldn't normally be having!' argument is so preposterous to me. Oh yeah! They would have *never* thought to have sex on thier own if there were no sex ed and free condoms available!

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#6 Old 06-14-2006, 11:37 PM
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Well, I guess I could see it both ways...



On one hand, a 13-year-old with bubbling hormones might see BC as "OMGZZZ finally, a get-out-of-pregnancy-free-card!! Now nothing can stop me!"

And of course, I'd be pissed if anyone else was trying to have any part at all in raising/influencing MY kid against my wishes.



On the other, if the kid honestly decides she wants to start having sex, she's gonna start having sex, regardless of her mother's wishes (unless her mom locks her in the basement and slaps on her a pair of steel, padlocked panties?). It's all part of the rebellious teenage so and so... so she might as well at least protect herself the best she can if she's going to go down that road. Personally, I think 13 is entirely to young (physically and emotionally) to even start thinking about having sex, but who am I to stop 'em? As long as they're being responsible enough to take the precautionary measures to be as safe as possible...
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#7 Old 06-15-2006, 12:32 AM
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interesting... i can see all sides of this, but ultimately i do believe it should be a parents right, esp at age 13...

that said, i agree with astro--this mom needs some kind of help...
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#8 Old 06-15-2006, 01:17 AM
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I'm the mother of two girls and I say parents rights be damned.

What matters is this girls right to have access to birth control.

Her mother can teach her and hope that she doesnot have sex but that is about as far as mom can truly go, past that it is up to the girl's choices and if mom dosnt want her baby to be like her than lets hope the girl not only has birth control but retains the right to ask for and get birth control without parental blockage.



I was denied bith control as a teen, did not stop me from having sex, it dosnt stop any teen from having sex and like me a good deal wind up as teen parents.

Birth control the choice of getting it or not getting it should be the teen's choice and her's alone.
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#9 Old 06-15-2006, 06:57 AM
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Ok,so this woman had her daughter at 13 yet she thinks simply not giving her daughter BC will prevent a pregnancy? She's either diluted or really really stupid.

Sorry, it's bull. I'd rather kids get BC from the school nurse then get pregnant and have children at 13, 14, 15. Is anyone really naive enough to think that kids simply won't have sex if they're not given birth control?

I guess so but, still.....

Mary
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#10 Old 06-15-2006, 07:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astro View Post

Thomas was the same age her daughter is now when she was born. She doesn't want her daughter to follow in her footsteps.



"I'm doing everything I can to keep my child from being a young mother, because none of these people who are giving her permission to do what she wants is going to be here when and if she gets pregnant," she said.




Omg, that poor woman. Someone needs to take her aside and give her some counselling to get her to realise the amount of denial she is in regarding her daughter.



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#11 Old 06-15-2006, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by MaryC1999 View Post

Ok,so this woman had her daughter at 13 yet she thinks simply not giving her daughter BC will prevent a pregnancy? She's either diluted or really really stupid.



I'm sorry, but can you show where the mother says that the only thing she is doing to discourage her daughter from having sex is not providing birth control?



Quote:

Sorry, it's bull. I'd rather kids get BC from the school nurse then get pregnant and have children at 13, 14, 15. Is anyone really naive enough to think that kids simply won't have sex if they're not given birth control?

I guess so but, still.....

Mary



Birth control is not 100% effective, and to put it in the hand of 7th-8th graders and expect it to be used correctly is ****ing foolish, and in the case of something like this, possibly dangerous.



Funny, schools can't give out Tylenol, but they can give this stuff out?

Idiocy. The only reason this is legal is that the ****s in the pro-abortion movement are too busy smelling their own farts to realize that the government has no business stripping parental rights in this matter.



Quote:
Her mother can teach her and hope that she doesnot have sex but that is about as far as mom can truly go, past that it is up to the girl's choices and if mom dosnt want her baby to be like her than lets hope the girl not only has birth control but retains the right to ask for and get birth control without parental blockage.



Please tell me that you aren't defending the right of the school to help a 13-year old engage in sexual intercourse, considering in most cases she cannot consent legally.
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#12 Old 06-15-2006, 08:53 AM
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"The clinic provides services with parental consent. A spokesperson from the University of Rochester said they have a release form with Thomas' signature on it. However, Thomas insists she only gave the clinic permission to provide her a daughter an aspirin if she had a headache and declined all other services. Still, if a clinic has "Title 10" status, it can provide a minor birth control if they are over the age of twelve, as well as HIV tests."





Interesting.



The fact that the clinic is on site at a school makes it very complicated because in reality she could go (without parental consent or knowledge) to an off-site clinic and get the same services. I wonder if the services and medication/condoms she received were dispensed during school hours.

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#13 Old 06-15-2006, 08:56 AM
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The story says it's a morning after pill she was given. It doesn't seem like it's the ongoing hormonal birth control pill.
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#14 Old 06-15-2006, 09:33 AM
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Perhaps children should be able to get tylenol and other medical services without their parents involvement too. As for abortion and birth control, it isn't the girls parent's that would have to go through with a pregneancy and give birth.
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#15 Old 06-15-2006, 09:56 AM
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i think its a very difficult issue. while a 13 year old is legally (and very very likely still mentally) very much a child, they are not the same creature as say, a difficult 7 year old, and you can't really effectively handle them the same way.



a willful 13 year old will find a way to have sex, if they are dead set on doing it, even if you try to watch them every minute, no matter how much you try and educate them, rationalise with them, explain that its an incredibly bad idea, explain to them the repercussions of their actions, forbid them from doing it, threaten them, etc. if they are going to do it, they will find a way, unless you chain them 24/7 to a radiator in a locked room- and thats child abuse.



i agree that parents should be at the forefront of dealing with this issue. its vital that its acknowledged that they are the parents, she's their child, and that they have beliefs, ideals, a moral standpoint, feelings, expectations, and that if possible, they have a big say in what happens. but its also important to consider that a child who is having sex is at risk of experiencing a lot of things which could have a very negative impact on their life- including std's, HIV, teen pregancy (i know many people have a positive experience of teen pregancy, but i don't think a 13 year old is in a position to have the emotional maturity to rationally decide to become a mother, and the skills to support herself emotionally or financially, and think it should definately be avoided).



in my mind, the welfare of the person who is having sex and is at risk of harm (the child) comes before the welfare of the parents- who aren't at risk of harm in the same way. someone who is at risk of harm, and asks for help to avoid that harm, should be armed with tools which they will use to avoid harm coming to them, be they a child or adult. if they are going to have sex, no matter what you try to do to stop them, then they should be provided with a way to try and protect themselves while having sex.



i don't think that just handing them the pill is the anywhere near the best option to use for this though- kids in the uk who approach services in confidence for help, tend to be assessed in detail, and if appropriate, are given a wealth of information, someone to talk to about issues, and to make sure they understand what they are dealing with, and generally recieve the contraceptive shot from a doctor, and are given and taught how to use free condoms.



in my area, we actually have a new 'sex card' system running, which is given to older kids who are having underage sex, after they have completed a course which ensures they are properly educated in all the repercussions of their actions and how to use the tools that they are given. if they present this card at a range of locations and centres, they can receive free condoms and sex related info without getting any [email protected] or a million questions about it- because its been found that if you give young people a huge earful, or try and stop them having sex, they'll just leave, and have sex anyway- often unprotected- which is a [email protected] sight worse in my books.



if your kid has cancer, or poor nutrition, or another medical or health issue, and as a parent you refuse to treat him, or choose to treat him in a way which isn't deemed to be effective, doctors can overrule you, and provide what they deem to be the best treatment, because the law says its in the best interests of the child- providing a child who is at risk of harm through sex with practical tools, information, and contraception, similarly seems the logical thing to do, and in the best interests of that child, to me.
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#16 Old 06-15-2006, 10:03 AM
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i'm pretty sure that in the UK, once a child reaches around the age of 12, if they have an average IQ, and can demonstrate a standard level of understanding, he or she is deemed capable of making their own desicions regarding their own medical care, and can legally visit and recieve treatment from a doctor, without their parents knowledge or consent- for anything, not just sexual matters.



children under 16 in the UK can also purchase or receive the morning after pill from pharmacies in confidence (there is no lower age limit for this service, but with those aged under 11/12 it would probably become a child protection issue) and doctors, pharmacists, youth/social workers and teachers only have to inform social services if the child is deemed to be at significant risk of substantial harm (under the child protection act). its a bit of a tricky line to walk, covering your own @ss, protecting the childs rights, and staying within the law.
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#17 Old 06-15-2006, 10:20 AM
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I think I would be pretty annoyed if my child was given medication without my permission.
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#18 Old 06-15-2006, 10:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meatless View Post

The story says it's a morning after pill she was given. It doesn't seem like it's the ongoing hormonal birth control pill.



I noticed that too. But the story keeps referring to it as birth control and it mentions that the girl was given several refills. It sounds like this girl is/was planning on using it as a regular contraceptive rather than an emergency contraceptive.
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#19 Old 06-15-2006, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Tame View Post

I'm sorry, but can you show where the mother says that the only thing she is doing to discourage her daughter from having sex is not providing birth control?.



i agree (with tame?!? jk)...granted, she doesn't sound "together", but we're assuming things about her...
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#20 Old 06-15-2006, 11:34 AM
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"The medical staff can provide students with a variety of prescriptions including birth control and even condoms. Thomas' daughter also received two boxes of condoms and a prescription for several refills."



Here's where journalism really takes liberties with the 'facts'...all of these sttements are open to interpretation. For instance, the clinics around here would give a prescription for condoms, with refills. Same goes for the 'morning after' pill. The way the statements above are written though, it seems that this was an ongoing monthly hormonal birth control pill. Who knows the 'tuth'. I mean, the mother signed a consent to treat and now says it was just for 'aspirin'. Maybe she *did* verbally specify that, but unless it's been written, the school is not legally at fault. Sucks, if that's what happened.

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#21 Old 06-15-2006, 04:25 PM
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The idea of a someone else being able to provide birth control for a 13 year old just doesn't sit with me the right way. Are they also giving couseling or discussing with the child the pros/cons of having sex at that age? It just doesn't seem appropriate to me. There should be parental approval.
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#22 Old 06-15-2006, 05:56 PM
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Let's kill two birds with one stone, and stock the school vending machines with contraceptives instead of cola.



Seriously, I really don't want to see public schools distributing any type of birth control. They have enough to do, and that's not their job.



The thought of a 13 year old giving birth to (and raising!) a child is frightening though, so I'm all for providing education, counseling, medical care and BC elsewhere, at clinics, etc, without parental notification. Are the health risks from doctor-prescribed birth control any greater than the risks from a pregnancy and/or abortion?
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#23 Old 06-15-2006, 07:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Tame View Post

Why is it when it comes to birth control and abortion some people think it is fine-and-****ing dandy to go against parental rights? I don't get it.

A doctor can't prescribe an antibiotic to a kid without parental permission, but some nurse is hooking a thirteen-year old up with a hormone-based drug without parental notification?

She should be fired.



Why couldn't they have handed out condoms instead?



Not only is it a non-hormonal, but it protects against many STDs.



I agree with you Tame, hormonal BC should not be prescribed to a 13 year old without the parent's permission.
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#24 Old 06-15-2006, 07:46 PM
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honestly I really don't like stepping into the heap but here goes I don't think condoms would be a good alternative to birth control pills it is difficult enough to get grown men to wear them let alone some teenage boy. ALso if the boy she is having sex with is like 17 or 18 wouldn't that be statatory rape? I don't like the idea of schools giving kids any meds without notifying the parents.
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#25 Old 06-15-2006, 08:04 PM
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honestly I really don't like stepping into the heap but here goes I don't think condoms would be a good alternative to birth control pills

And both are useless if this teenager is already pregnant and doesn't want to be, a possibility that only she and the nurse seem to have accounted for so far. The mother previously prohibited the UoR clinic from dispensing anything other than aspirin to the girl, which would include any form of birth control.

Keep on freepin' on

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#26 Old 06-15-2006, 10:53 PM
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honestly I really don't like stepping into the heap but here goes I don't think condoms would be a good alternative to birth control pills it is difficult enough to get grown men to wear them let alone some teenage boy.



But the pill doesn't protect against STD's, and how many 13 year old girls are mature enough to take a pill at the same time of day, every single day? If a boy wants (willing) sex badly enough, he'll put the condom on.

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#27 Old 06-16-2006, 06:38 AM
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Like she wouldn't have had sex anyway?
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#28 Old 06-16-2006, 07:06 AM
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actually I reread the article the nurse gave her the morning after pill . I know some women have died after using it. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6502927/
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#29 Old 06-16-2006, 08:49 AM
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I really feel the parent should be notified before giving a child a controlled substabce like that. Is it even safe for someone that young to take a hormonal medication?? Granted, it is possible she was an early developer, but at 13 she hasn't been menstruating that long, might not even have a regular cycle yet (because that can take 2-3 years to figure itself out), and considering the possible side effects that some pills can have, if these show up, and her mom doesn't know why her daughter has certain symptoms because she's taking these pills behind her back and probably hiding them someplace, then what? There are slight risks and/or side effects with birth control pills (I would assume the same would apply to the morning-after thing). I think a parent's consent should mandatory at least for those reasons.



And like has been mentioned, we don't know how the mom has been raising her. Perhaps she realized she made a big mistake, and wants to keep her daughter from it. Perhaps she has "seen the light" morally and wants to raise her daughter with values she was deprived of as a child. At 13, she is old enough to do the math and see how old her mom was when she was born, and I think the mom realizes that, probably acknowledges that to her and is not trying to raise her in the dark.

And there is the concern of money also. Does she have health insurance to cover the stuff? If not, it can be pricey. I doubt a 13 year has the money for it herself, so now she is using her mom's money w/o permission for an rx she was given w/o parental consent.



I honestly think it is disgusting that children should be encouraged to be promiscuous that way by an educational institution. That is what it is. They are actively condoning and encouraging that behavior, against parents (like this one) want to try to raise their kids properly. As long as a kid is dependent on their parents, the parents have the right to know what is going on. I think that the argument that the mom can only teach her and hope she'll listen only applies to her when she actually becomes an adult and does not need to 'answer' to her mother anymore.
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#30 Old 06-16-2006, 08:54 AM
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honestly I really don't like stepping into the heap but here goes I don't think condoms would be a good alternative to birth control pills it is difficult enough to get grown men to wear them let alone some teenage boy. ALso if the boy she is having sex with is like 17 or 18 wouldn't that be statatory rape? I don't like the idea of schools giving kids any meds without notifying the parents.



What teenage boy would turn down sex because he had to wear a condom?
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