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-   -   how do you feel about families who choose to have 10+ children (biological)? (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/17-compost-heap/41061-how-do-you-feel-about-families-who-choose-have-10-children-biological.html)

peacecat 10-22-2005 03:11 PM

a recent thread referenced the Duggar family, a family with 16 children. I hope my link below works. anyhow, my question is, how do you feel about families who choose to have very large numbers of biological children?? http://www.jimbob/info

gaya 10-22-2005 03:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by peacecat View Post

a recent thread referenced the Duggar family, a family with 16 children. I hope my link below works. anyhow, my question is, how do you feel about families who choose to have very large numbers of biological children?? http://www.jimbob/info

I'm watching a show on discovery health right now about the Duggars! lol



They could teach a lesson about organization. As long as they take care of their own and are good parents (they are being portrayed that way) then more power to them.

peacecat 10-22-2005 03:52 PM

ohmigod, are you serious?? drops everything and runs to tv...lol

gaya 10-22-2005 03:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by peacecat View Post

ohmigod, are you serious?? drops everything and runs to tv...lol

It just ended at 6 but I've noticed that discovery health runs the same shows later in the evening (around 11) if you want to see it. Pretty impressive family imo.

organica 10-22-2005 03:58 PM

My parents had 7 children they couldn't afford.

It caused a lot of stress, child abuse, hunger, deprivation, mental illness & eventually divorce.

I suppose if a couple has the money to raise those kids properly, there's no problem, but generally it's a bad idea IMHO.

I am curious as to why, in a world so overpopulated, people would be so selfish to think that the world needs 10+ of THEIR little darlings.

Why not adopt unwanted kids, or other animals?

gaya 10-22-2005 04:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by organica View Post

My parents had 7 children they couldn't afford.

It caused a lot of stress, child abuse, hunger, deprivation, mental illness & eventually divorce.

I suppose if a couple has the money to raise those kids properly, there's no problem, but generally it's a bad idea IMHO.

I am curious as to why, in a world so overpopulated, people would be so selfish to think that the world needs 10+ of THEIR little darlings.

Why not adopt unwanted kids, or other animals?

From what I can tell they are christian and consider their children gifts from God. I would guess that they don't support birth control.

Schoska 10-22-2005 04:19 PM

I think it is bonkers. And selfish.

thebelovedtree 10-22-2005 04:34 PM

If it weren't for over population then assuming the children were all well cared for I wouldn't mind, however I saw the discovery health show on the people in question and the structure of the family is that the older children raise the children for the mother, since she can't be in 16 places at once. Helping with younger siblings is one thing but those children are pretty young to get up in the morning, get another child dressed, get them breakfast, and teeth brushed, etc. Thats not their responsibility, they're under 10 and doing this! Also the family's diet didn't seem to be that good because of finances, one thing they made on the show was "tater tot casserole" from all processed food, which they made out was because it's cheap.



ETA: a link to the daily schedule, see how much time the older children spend helping the little ones, TOO MUCH IMHO- http://www.jimbob.info/faq.html

peacecat 10-22-2005 04:39 PM

ewwww. i am still trying to recover from the tater tot casserole. i guess my feeling is that westerners (the U.S.) even though we are a very small percentage of world pop, hogs up an estimated 40% of the world's resources, so to have 16 kids, as the duggar family does, seems to compound that terrible inequity in consumption.



it's hard for me to buy the "if they can afford to care for them it's okay" argument because it doesn't take into account the burden on the world's resources. as westerneers i feel we all shoulder the burden of mass consumption as a way of life. so i am not implying that i or others with few or no children do not also overconsume. but i do think it's important to be conscious of overconsumption.

peacecat 10-22-2005 04:40 PM

i also see what you're saying belovedtree about young kids parenting their siblings...this seems unhealthy and maybe should be a sign that something is awry...

MollyGoat 10-22-2005 04:49 PM

They can't afford them. The Duggars receive food stamps. And Mr. Duggar is a republican politician. Schizo much?

rainbow_clouds 10-22-2005 04:49 PM

Older kids should NEVER parent their siblings. Hell, I'm not even in favor of older siblings babysitting younger siblings. 16 kids probably isn't a good idea in most cases, I can't image parents having time for 16 kids, give them love and attention like all children deserve. Tator tot cassorole? Uh...



And my mother's parents had 9 children they couldn't afford.

dk_art 10-22-2005 04:52 PM

I think so many children is irresponsible and pretty idiotic in this time. Get some brains and consideration for the finite resources of the planet and get a vasectomy or something.



There are tons of orphans and forgotten kids and these people have more and more and more. It's completely selfish and stupid in my opinion. Get some contraceptives and put your money and effort into helping the kids already born.

meatless 10-22-2005 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dk_art View Post




There are tons of orphans and forgotten kids and these people have more and more and more. It's completely selfish and stupid in my opinion. Get some contraceptives and put your money and effort into helping the kids already born.



Yeah but orphans aren't gifts from God, only their biological children are, silly!

Poppy 10-22-2005 05:30 PM

These people fascinate me... in a weird kind of way. I was an only child until I was 10. Both of my parents were only children, too. While I do have a brother, I've never had an aunt, an uncle or any cousins. Big families seem so very strange - how could you possibly live with 16 other people day in and day out?!?

FreshTart 10-22-2005 05:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow_clouds View Post

Older kids should NEVER parent their siblings.



Historically, this is common in poorer, large families.



What is your reasoning behind it being a "never" situation? I see it as no different then farm children who are up at 5am doing chores until the school bus shows up.



(Of course, I would not have this many children).

FreshTart 10-22-2005 05:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyGoat View Post

They can't afford them. The Duggars receive food stamps. And Mr. Duggar is a republican politician. Schizo much?



I don't get the food stamps and politican thing. I thought politicans made decent money.

peacecat 10-22-2005 05:44 PM

the whole adulation of big families as following their religious convictions seems odd...be fruitful and multiply sure, but don't go nuts!!

FreshTart 10-22-2005 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by peacecat View Post

the whole adulation of big families as following their religious convictions seems odd...be fruitful and multiply sure, but don't go nuts!!



If you read their website, it says that they felt they were denying God's gift everytime they didn't get pregnant b/c of the pill. They decided to let God handle how many children they have.



My mother, who is arguably the most religiously Christian woman on the planet, more anti-choice then the Pope, would tell this woman to close her legs, pop the pill and stop reproducing.

karenM 10-22-2005 05:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyGoat View Post

They can't afford them. The Duggars receive food stamps. And Mr. Duggar is a republican politician. Schizo much?

MollyGoat, I saw most of the show on the Duggar family a while back, and they made a point to mention the fact that the family is not relying on any public assistance. Where did you hear that they receive food stamps?

peacecat 10-22-2005 06:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshTart View Post

My mother, who is arguably the most religiously Christian woman on the planet, more anti-choice then the Pope, would tell this woman to close her legs, pop the pill and stop reproducing.



you crack me up!



i did read that on the website, but i just don't get it. how can someone's theology include, "don't think for yourself or make any choices about your body, family size etc..."



though i knew an irish catholic girl mary ann healey when i was in elem. at the start of 3rd grade she had about 14 siblings, by the end of 6th grade the kids in her family numbered 18 or 19. wacky...



that's gotta take a terrible toll on a woman's body

rainbow_clouds 10-22-2005 06:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshTart View Post

Historically, this is common in poorer, large families.



What is your reasoning behind it being a "never" situation? I see it as no different then farm children who are up at 5am doing chores until the school bus shows up.



(Of course, I would not have this many children).



I guess because it was the way my mother was raised. He older brothers parented her, and they weren't fair "parents". They beat her up when her parents weren't around and they left her older brothers in charge. It gave them somewhat of a power trip. My mother also took care of her younger sisters, my aunt kathy wet the bed, and she had to get up in the middle of the night to change her bedsheets. She didn't see it as fair to her or her brothers and sisters. She was very firm in this belief, and I just accepted it.



Well I think it is different than doing chores, because chores aren't people. You don't have to chance to abuse doing chores. It doesn't give the siblings a "rank". I just think siblings should see themselves as more or less equals, not "I'm responsible for you" or "I am your boss".

peacecat 10-22-2005 06:27 PM

i agree, plus the siblings taking care of the younger ones, unless it's very small tasks that are just "helping mom" are kind of being deprived of their own opportunities to be kids, make mistakes, be vulnerable and cared for etc.

rainbow_clouds 10-22-2005 06:30 PM

Maybe not "never" but ideally.

Marie 10-22-2005 06:31 PM

It would be a nightmarish life. I love my privacy too much.



It seems wrong to make the older kids share a bedroom with the little ones.

thebelovedtree 10-22-2005 06:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshTart View Post

Historically, this is common in poorer, large families.



What is your reasoning behind it being a "never" situation? I see it as no different then farm children who are up at 5am doing chores until the school bus shows up.



(Of course, I would not have this many children).



I don't think a child is capable of meeting the emotional needs of another child all day long, toddlers are frustrating and it shouldn't be your job to keep up with one all day when you're not even middle school age yet. I feel emotionally drained after spending a weekend with my half brother and sister I can't imagine how I would feel if I started caring for them as soon as I was old enough to dress myself. Also, since I'm dating a farm boy who has spent his whole life doing his parents chores,I have a pretty good idea how that works, and I don't think that is healthy either. I don't think his parents have a healthy relationship with him and they often abuse him and him time, for instance planning for him to do things without telling him or accounting for the fact that he is a full time college student and he needs to do his homework, and this is now that he doesn't live with them anymore. In highschool he often wouldn't get to start his homework until after 10 pm because of his parents farm/store.

Ludi 10-22-2005 06:49 PM

How do I feel about them?



"Worried about their finances"



"Worried about them setting a bad example"

FreshTart 10-22-2005 06:51 PM

Most older siblings end up looking after the young ones in some form.



--



Also, both the accounts so far (tree and rainbow) about doing chores/older sibling care involve abuse. Certainly there are people out there who were looked after by a sibling who wasn't abused (I can think of a few in my family/friend circle and none were abused).

GhostUser 10-22-2005 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatless View Post

Yeah but orphans aren't gifts from God, only their biological children are, silly!



This is true and very funny. I knew a few familys that used the bible to have many children, because of the verse they took out of the bible so literaly.



It is like they only thought that their children were the blessing. They thought that it was God's will.



I would think that would be so stressful.

thebelovedtree 10-22-2005 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshTart View Post

Most older siblings end up looking after the young ones in some form.



--



Also, both the accounts so far (tree and rainbow) about doing chores/older sibling care involve abuse. Certainly there are people out there who were looked after by a sibling who wasn't abused (I can think of a few in my family/friend circle and none were abused).



My account didn't include physical abuse, though I would consider a lot of it a type of abuse. Looking after your little brother for a few hours is very very different from raising your little brother, which is what I have a problem with.


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