Overall, we had a very traditional wedding. We were married at my church. (Well, I hardly attended there anymore, but my father was still the pastor there.) At 24 I was still living at home (but hardly home) and moved out on my wedding day. Therefore, when my father handed me over to my husband it truly was the passing of the old life into the new. (Not my father handing me over to my husband's "property". The closest thing to a dowery my husband got was MY
1993 Ford Escort that my father was kind enough to pay off for my wedding present. I still have it, four years later because it's paid for and runs.) Anyway, we even had Holy Communion at our wedding, which was not common at that church.
My husband wanted me to take his name. I wasn't crazy about that as closer to the wedding I had been going through a mini-identity crisis. All of the stuff about moving out, becoming more of a full fleged grown up and all of the other changes that come after the wedding were hitting me upside the head. Keeping my name, it seemed was one of the few things I could still hold on to. Also, my husband's last name is very common. Outside of Western NY, my name isn't. Keeping my name was part of keeping me, my identity (as somebody else mentioned.) Also, there is heritage in that name as well.
I compromised and I officially hyphenate. "Oficially" as in I use it for things like tax forms, jobs, etc. because that's what's on file government wise. Overall, I use my last name. I think it's more fun.
Last week I started a three week summer school class at my husband's seminary. One of my classmates said that she is from a town in Western NY, about 20 miles from where my grandparents live. In that part of the state, 20 miles isn't much. After she said where she was from I deliberately introduced myself with my last name (and not the hyphen), in part, to see if she would recognize it, and because I'm used to doing so. (Our professor, though, has me down as Laura Maiden-Married, as that's the what I used when I registered.)
Yesterday I was at the plasma center where I go for my play money since it doesn't look as though I'll be getting a job anytime soon. (In part because of my husband.
) My name was called as Laura Marriedname, which kinda bugged me because it's plain on my chart. Well, I got up and a guy (barely looked legal, but cute, probably from OSU) also got up. The employee asked (a bit rudely, I thought) what he was doing and he said that he heard his last name (which is the same as my husband's). She said, no, she called me. He said oh. I said, pointedly to the guy, but meaning it for the employee (who has called me Laura Marriedname every time she calls me), "This is why I use my maiden name. To avoid confusion." Blah. (I thought it interesting that when the guy and I first saw each other he smiled at me, shy and friendly. I mention that I'm married and he doesn't smile at me any more.
Okay. I've babbled enough. I hope I haven't bored anybody.
Legally, I hyphenate.
My husband wanted me to take his name. I wasn't