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GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:16 PM

Or, more to the point - how soon people have sex with each other.



Perhaps I am the only person left on earth who believes this way, but I don't agree with the "3 date rule" which seems to be popular (3rd date = sex date).



I thought movie relationships were based on fantasy; no one really has sex after a couple of dates. Boy, have I ever been wrong. I don't talk about my sex life much in RL simply b/c I'm not interested in sharing that part of my life with people, but others around me seem to share their sex lives. And 3rd date = sex rule seems very popular. A few don't even get the first date and just decide to have sex first to decide if dinner is worthwhile.



And don't get me started on the girls out here that sleep with the NHL players. Oh, and the guys who will not rest until they've hit 4 digit number of partners.



I cannot fathom it.

Tame 07-26-2004 12:18 PM

I'm with you, the 3rd date rule is nuts.



If she wouldn't bump uglies after the first date, I was gone.

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:21 PM


Stephanie 07-26-2004 12:21 PM

I think when it feels right, that's the time. Not before. As for number of dates, not important. 3rd date rule is crazy. One can never tell when it will be the time untill you're there and it feels right. Wether it's the 5th or 20th. Just my opinion!

sky73 07-26-2004 12:22 PM

Third date? What's wrong with the second?

rincaro 07-26-2004 12:22 PM

I met my ex when I was 18. And I was 30 when I started dating again. Imagine *my* surprise at the 3-date rule.



But I went all nutso and got married again so fast that I didn't really deal with it. Personally I think it is things like that which account for the lightning-speed spread of STD's, including AIDS.

AuroraLily 07-26-2004 12:22 PM

I agree with you Krista. The 3 date rule is crazy. It's why STD are running rampant.

I figure it's only after atleast 1-3 months that you stop trying to impress the other person and start acting like yourself.

dawngirl 07-26-2004 12:23 PM

I'll go with the "when it feels right" line of thought...and sometimes it feels right on the first date. "Feeling right" also depends on the number of cocktails.



ETA: STD's are running rampant because people are having unprotected/unsafe sex.

rincaro 07-26-2004 12:25 PM

Am I the only one singing Salt & Pepa here?



...let's talk about sex ba-bee, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things...

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:25 PM

too many diseases for the 3rd date rule.

Artichoke47 07-26-2004 12:25 PM

Usually when I start dating a guy, he wants to see me every single day, so no, the third date "rule" wouldn't apply. That would mean three days. LOL

sky73 07-26-2004 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AuroraLily View Post

I agree with you Krista. The 3 date rule is crazy. It's why STD are running rampant.

I figure it's only after atleast 1-3 months that you stop trying to impress the other person and start acting like yourself.





Just because you have sex earlier rather than later doesn't mean that you can't be safe too.

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:26 PM

For me, if the STD question is even a question, then I have no business being with him. If I'm not ready to marry him, then I have no business being with him. If I'm not ready to risk reproducing with him, being tied forever to him, then I have no business being with him.



So, you can imagine my list of lovers is rather short

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:27 PM

Condoms are far from perfect.



Furthermore, I can't see myself stripping down for a stranger and saying "have at it". 3 dates is a stranger! I'm lucky I'd take a ride home from them after 3 dates.

rincaro 07-26-2004 12:28 PM

Is too tired to post all the research that points out how woefully inadequate condoms are for STD protection or pregnancy protection.

Blue Plastic Straw 07-26-2004 12:29 PM

I don't believe in rules surrounding sex. Other than, you know, if I say my safe word, you have to untie me.

meatless 07-26-2004 12:30 PM

Mr. Meatless and I got down to it pretty quickly after we started going out, but we also worked together for four months before we started "dating." So it wasn't like he was a stranger, we were friends first.

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:30 PM

Who untied you? You didn't say the safe word last night!

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatless View Post

Mr. Meatless and I got down to it pretty quickly after we started going out, but we also worked together for four months before we started "dating." So it wasn't like he was a stranger, we were friends first.



He wasn't some dude you picked up at the bookstore and hopped in bed with. You actually knew him. I can deal with that (as I know most people don't believe in waiting as long as I do).



But after a couple dinners and a movie, maybe a stroll in the park, you don't know the person. As AL said, it takes a while to learn who and what someone really is.

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:34 PM

eh..there's still a guy in the area with AIDS who's infecting anyone he can. That definitely killed it for me. I have gone as far as to have my S.O. get tested (and I as well) for STD's before anything happened between us. Until I find someone that I intend on spending my life with, (or at least bieng in a long term relationship) I'm abstaining from sex.

Blue Plastic Straw 07-26-2004 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatless View Post

Mr. Meatless and I got down to it pretty quickly after we started going out, but we also worked together for four months before we started "dating." So it wasn't like he was a stranger, we were friends first.



This is a good point. I've had sex on a first date, but it was with someone I'd been friends with for a while.

kirkjobsluder 07-26-2004 12:34 PM

Are we talking about sex, Sex, SEX or !*!*!SEX!*!*!.



Head, shoulders, knees and toes,

knees and toes

head, shoulders, knees and toes,

knees and toes

eyes and ears and mouth and nose.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,

knees and toes!



Seriously, not that I'm dating, but I think it would take a while before I would feel comfortable having sex with someone. Too many people out there playing games.

meatless 07-26-2004 12:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kirkjobsluder View Post


Head, shoulders, knees and toes,

knees and toes

head, shoulders, knees and toes,

knees and toes

eyes and ears and mouth and nose.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,

knees and toes!



*wipes away a tear*

That was beautiful kirk.

Blue Plastic Straw 07-26-2004 12:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kirkjobsluder View Post

Are we talking about sex, Sex, SEX or !*!*!SEX!*!*!.



I prefer the latter, but the other three are nice too.

sky73 07-26-2004 12:38 PM

The guys that I got involved with rather quickly all turned into long relationships. They were people that were friends of friends or lived in the community and I knew them that way. They were not bar pick ups or random meeting on the train situations (although that sounds kinda nice too ).

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:38 PM

The island I come from, there was a guy who did that back in the late 80s when he found out he had AIDS. Infected, I believe, 4 women who later infected their future spouses/children/partners. Most of them have died, but some of the "newer" infectees are still alive, living off government assistance (gov't assistance here will pay for AIDS meds).



If it makes me a prude, so be it. But I want to share my body with someone that I'm committing to spending my life with, not someone who has T-shirts with his name on it, would make a great converstion piece, or who seemed "nice" at dinner.

punkmommy 07-26-2004 12:39 PM

My husband and I were housemates before we were involved sexually. We lived in the house 4 months together as friends and I got pregnant the first time we had sex! I think when it feels right is when you should "do it". I knew he was the one for me, so I wasted no time

sky73 07-26-2004 12:40 PM

Different strokes for different folks

meatless 07-26-2004 12:40 PM

I consider myself on the prudish side, but I already figured we were going to be together for life so I figured I'd spare him the torture of waiting.



It had nothing to do with my desires. Nothing at all.

GhostUser 07-26-2004 12:40 PM

And, another point, it seems like people are having sex way too early (as in age). I was 14 once, too. And I didn't have sex and, my god, I survived. I'm confident one can survive these days without, too.


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