Originally Posted by bethanie
Wow, I think you're missing the point altogether of what I said. I've been celibate for four years (which may sometimes explain my crankiness
). So Im not really interested in sleeping around these days. And I was married and in a six year committed relationship before that. I'm just saying. It isn't either no sex before marriage or be a slutty tramp who sleeps around with scary men. GOOD LORD....I do hope there's a 'somewhere in between.'
All I was trying to say is that if I found someone I really cared about and who cared about me...and who was kind and loving and well...NICE...I don't know that I'd wait for marriage. As a 35 year old woman I'd hope I'd have the sense to avoid getting pregnant or an std. Oh...I am a single Mom...because my husband left though...not because I was a 'bad girl' and got what I deserved.
Shewwwwww...I just think sometimes we should maybe not compare ourselves so much to what others are doing. We should just follow our inner compass, not expect our own personal rules to apply to everyone...and try to live happily that way without being little gods who go around judging everyone all the time.
I was not trying to offend, nor am I trying to impose my personal rules on others. I always try to avoid doing that, and I'm sorry if I came across wrong.
I have nothing but respect for single moms, whether divorced or never married. I know a girl who got pregnant at 17 or 18 and has been supporting herself and her daughter for years. I admire and respect all she has done. I just wanted to avoid having the same thing happen to me. And I know that the majority of single mom's are not, as you say "bad girls." I've had family members left by their spouses to raise their kids alone. In no way was my comment meant to denigrate single mothers.
My perspective is this: I've just seen a lot of friends really screw up their lives with "casual sex." I've seen friends get pregnant way too early, and of course that dramatically changes their life plans. Having a child at 18 is not a great way to finish (or start!) college. It is not impossibe to do both, but it is a lot harder. I've also seen friends really messed up by sexual relationships they didn't appear to be ready for. Yes, people can have sex before they're married and be happy. Certainly, some people find that "in between" space. But a lot of people I care about have not.
Not having sex is the safest way to avoid STD's and early pregnancy. There is no way to completely protect against STD's. Condom's, for example, don't protect against HPV infection. So I chose not to have sex until I was married (I didn't get married until I graduated from my undergrad). It worked for me. That's all I am trying to say, really.