[Warning: Adult Content] That's Quite a Tongue You have There, Deer - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-20-2004, 11:59 AM
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Warning: Adult Content. Story involves animal dismemberment, bestiality and xenoeroticism. And it is so "gamey" I thought it could only be posted in the Compost Heap.



http://www.snopes.com/risque/bestial/deertongue.asp
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#2 Old 06-20-2004, 12:02 PM
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OMG! We must be missing out, ladies. *rolls eyes*
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#3 Old 06-20-2004, 12:19 PM
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...



Hey, uh, guys? People call me Deer.



And all this time I thought it was because I was a nice person.



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#4 Old 06-20-2004, 01:06 PM
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lol Verbivore, deery me!



Vegetables also get a mention......



Quote:
Originally Posted by Snopes.com View Post


these objects, most commonly bananas, cucumbers, and other large vegetables, rarely come to surgical attention.

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#5 Old 06-20-2004, 02:31 PM
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veggies
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#6 Old 06-20-2004, 04:27 PM
 
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blech!



and "she did not remember leaving it there"...um hellooooo?

The ones I pity are the ones who never stick out their neck for something they believe, never know the taste of moral struggle, and never have the thrill of victory. - Jonathan Kozol
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#7 Old 06-20-2004, 04:31 PM
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#8 Old 06-21-2004, 02:01 AM
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#9 Old 06-21-2004, 02:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJen View Post

blech!



and "she did not remember leaving it there"...um hellooooo?

Yeah, seriously.



Whoopsies!
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#10 Old 06-21-2004, 03:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJen View Post

blech!



and "she did not remember leaving it there"...um hellooooo?



was probably lying..
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#11 Old 06-21-2004, 04:15 AM
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Oh.



My.



Gosh.





(speechless for the first time ever)
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#12 Old 06-21-2004, 04:50 AM
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Ick. That is grosser than gross.
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#13 Old 06-21-2004, 02:25 PM
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#14 Old 06-21-2004, 02:41 PM
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I think both the woman and her husband should seek mental help. Really. What stable person thinks of such a thing and then acts on it? I hope they don't have kids. Sheesh! Whacko's.
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#15 Old 06-21-2004, 02:49 PM
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That was actually more than I needed to know.................*gag*

T.
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#16 Old 06-21-2004, 03:08 PM
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AUUUUUGH. Decaying...tongue...? I agree with MsRuthieB--these people need serious help.



Ugh!!!!!!!
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#17 Old 06-21-2004, 07:40 PM
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Interestingly, it said large vegetables are a problem most often in married women.
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#18 Old 06-21-2004, 07:44 PM
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Does that mean married women are more dissatisfied with their sex lives than single women? Hmm...



I'm wondering why neither could feel the tongue up there, assuming that they had sexual intercourse between the time it was left up there and forgotten and then surgically removed.
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#19 Old 06-21-2004, 10:13 PM
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The basics of the story may be true, but the story as it's written in the purple box isn't. First, there is no way they could have done a pap smear without seeing the tongue in the first place, as you have to insert a speculum to take the sample. Second there is no way she could have forgotten about it for a long period of time. It would eventually just fall out.



The story as explained in the next paragraphs makes alot more sense.
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#20 Old 06-21-2004, 10:28 PM
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Er, um, I can't imagine *losing* anything up there.
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#21 Old 06-21-2004, 11:38 PM
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I seriously doubt it is a real story. Things just don't get lost in there, I mean it's not exactly a haystack.
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#22 Old 06-22-2004, 02:11 AM
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I don't understand - why don't these people just go to one of those stores and buy a proper masterbation aid? Jeez - they make every conceivable kind you could think of (hell, probably one shaped like a giant tongue....you could just pretend it was a deer, or moose - or something).
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#23 Old 06-22-2004, 06:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mosquito View Post

The basics of the story may be true, but the story as it's written in the purple box isn't. First, there is no way they could have done a pap smear without seeing the tongue in the first place, as you have to insert a speculum to take the sample. Second there is no way she could have forgotten about it for a long period of time. It would eventually just fall out.



The story as explained in the next paragraphs makes alot more sense.



unfortuantly it happens. i once wore a tampon and forgot about it (it is possible) and well i went to the dr and had everything done (man the metals cold) and it wasnt found for two months when it had slipped. unfrotuantly for me i have put another one in and pushed the first right put to the very top and way fortuantly i didnt get TSS apparently i was lucky to live



anyway just to validate the story a bit more and add more grossness
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#24 Old 06-22-2004, 09:37 AM
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oh deer go. i think i am going to be sick.

~Glamboy
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#25 Old 06-22-2004, 10:05 AM
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I just have to say >
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#26 Old 06-22-2004, 11:30 AM
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That's a pretty funny story.



I worked in the ER for a while and people came in occasionally with objects lodged in certain areas. They never admitted they were using them for sexual pleasure. Usually men came in and they'd say things like (I'm not kidding) "I fell on it". Meanwhile a lightbulb is lodged in their rectum. Doctors always know they're lying but I suppose they're just trying to save face. I guess it's embarrassing enough to have it happen, but I imagine it would be quite difficult to say, "Yeah, I stuck a deer's tongue in my vagina."
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#27 Old 06-22-2004, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post

That's a pretty funny story.



I worked in the ER for a while and people came in occasionally with objects lodged in certain areas. They never admitted they were using them for sexual pleasure. Usually men came in and they'd say things like (I'm not kidding) "I fell on it". Meanwhile a lightbulb is lodged in their rectum. Doctors always know they're lying but I suppose they're just trying to save face. I guess it's embarrassing enough to have it happen, but I imagine it would be quite difficult to say, "Yeah, I stuck a deer's tongue in my vagina."



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#28 Old 06-22-2004, 12:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dvmarie View Post

I don't understand - why don't these people just go to one of those stores and buy a proper masterbation aid? Jeez - they make every conceivable kind you could think of (hell, probably one shaped like a giant tongue....you could just pretend it was a deer, or moose - or something).



That assumes a level of rationality and forethought that such people may not possess. Or else their episode of horniness is like being overcome by a fit of temporary insanity.



Spelling pointer: there is no "e" in "masturbation."
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#29 Old 06-22-2004, 02:05 PM
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Thanks for the spelling tip Joe.... it looked funny when I typed it, and I considered checking. Then I thought - "Geez... it's not like I'm turning this in for class - hit send already"
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#30 Old 06-22-2004, 02:28 PM
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Ok. I'll look around for a freeware spell checker that integrates with IE. My spelling is not perfect either. Mea culpa.



ETA:



Here are two freeware spell-checkers/dictionaries:



All Purpose Spell Checker



http://www.math.mcgill.ca/rags/apscinst.exe



Magical Jellybean Dictionary



http://sixy.com/mjbs/
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