TRIGGER WARNING: Stopping in the Middle - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 12-06-2011, 07:52 AM
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There is some confusion on the board over whether or not having sex with someone who has explicitly expressed her or his desire not to have sex with you is rape. Actually, only one member of the board that I know of is confused; apparently if you begin having sex with someone, you are obligated to finish, and if you want to stop, for any reason, you are a "barbary ape."

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Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Personaly I cant see a single instance so far that isn't just a case of people needing to be a bit more carefull in selecting the type of people they sleep with.

We are NOT barbary apes and anyone who wants to act like a barbary ape, be they male or female, doesnt really deserve to be treated better than one.

I can think of several instances when I or my partner wanted to stop in the middle of a sex act. Reasons included: the particular position we were in was really uncomfortable for me; my partner realized that I had suddenly had my period; "it just wasn't working"; I was drunk at the beginning but had begun to sober up and realized that this was probably not a good idea. There are probably lots more that I don't remember because they weren't particularly dramatic. In all of these instances, my partner immediately stopped, or I immediately stopped at his request.

See, I don't believe that anyone is obligated to have sex with me, even if they wanted to have sex with me at a particular point, whether that was last year or several days ago or several minutes ago. I believe that sex is fun and joyful and intimate, but only if all parties are consenting and enthusiastic at every single point.

I will submit to the group that not only is it rape to continue to perpetuate a sex act on someone who has asked you (or otherwise indicated that she or he wanted you) to stop, but also that people who believe that it's not rape are probably really, really bad in bed.
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#2 Old 12-06-2011, 07:54 AM
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Amazon.com carries Clueless Git's 257-page book Lemme Finish It Goddamnit, I'm Halfway Through - My Vision for a New Sexual Morality. It's mainly been ordered by various prisons.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#3 Old 12-06-2011, 08:02 AM
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#4 Old 12-06-2011, 08:13 AM
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Here's another good reason - a dog just left a "present" outside the window.

Lemme tell you, that smell will kill the mood quickly.
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#5 Old 12-06-2011, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

my partner realized that I had suddenly had my period

"suddenly"?

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
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#6 Old 12-06-2011, 08:30 AM
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Quote:
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"suddenly"?

...Yes?
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#7 Old 12-06-2011, 08:32 AM
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Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

...Yes?

The idea of that sounds somewhat hilarious.

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
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#8 Old 12-06-2011, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
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The idea of that sounds somewhat hilarious.

Yeah, it was kind of funny. I expect it was pretty disconcerting for him in the split second before he realized what had happened
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#9 Old 12-06-2011, 08:38 AM
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Quote:
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The idea of that sounds somewhat hilarious.

If only it were as hilarious in practice. :/
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#10 Old 12-06-2011, 08:43 AM
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Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
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#11 Old 12-06-2011, 09:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sevenseas View Post

amazon.com carries clueless git's 257-page book lemme finish it goddamnit, i'm halfway through - my vision for a new sexual morality. It's mainly been ordered by various prisons.

lol
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#12 Old 12-06-2011, 09:18 AM
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"Blue balls" is pretty painful though.

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
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#13 Old 12-06-2011, 10:21 AM
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It's always interesting to be reminded about how much people differ in their attitudes towards sex. From my point of view, I would be unhappy with my partner if he seemed disconcerted, or wanted to stop in the middle of sex cos I started my period.

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#14 Old 12-06-2011, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

See, I don't believe that anyone is obligated to have sex with me, even if they wanted to have sex with me at a particular point, whether that was last year or several days ago or several minutes ago. I believe that sex is fun and joyful and intimate, but only if all parties are consenting and enthusiastic at every single point.

+1.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

Amazon.com carries Clueless Git's 257-page book Lemme Finish It Goddamnit, I'm Halfway Through - My Vision for a New Sexual Morality. It's mainly been ordered by various prisons.

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#15 Old 12-06-2011, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

I believe that sex is fun and joyful and intimate, but only if all parties are consenting and enthusiastic at every single point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nishani View Post

From my point of view, I would be unhappy with my partner if he seemed disconcerted, or wanted to stop in the middle of sex cos I started my period.

Agreed. The nano-second it becomes uninteresting, routine, or otherwise less than awesome for either person - then what is the point? My being able to finish isn't going to be satisfying if I have even an inkling that my partner is no longer into it.

However, I will say the 'sudden period' thing is not a deal breaker for myself or my wife. If things are going well, that is not going to sway the mood.

There is no such thing as truth. People who really know what happened aren't talking. And the people who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up. - Tom Waits
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#16 Old 12-06-2011, 12:00 PM
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By the way, I've been doing some light research on barbary apes (more properly "macaques") and it turns out that they're quite sociable, family-oriented little critters. Males actively participate in the raising of their young, unlike a lot of other primates, and they'll often lend a hand raising the children of their friends and neighbours too. They're pretty promiscuous, but they seem to have quite peaceful little societies. Let's watch our speciesist insults!
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#17 Old 12-06-2011, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Envy View Post

"Blue balls" is pretty painful though.

The lady didn't say he couldn't finish on his own. Why do you think you were born with hands?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

Amazon.com carries Clueless Git's 257-page book Lemme Finish It Goddamnit, I'm Halfway Through - My Vision for a New Sexual Morality. It's mainly been ordered by various prisons.

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#18 Old 12-06-2011, 12:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Personaly I cant see a single instance so far that isn't just a case of people needing to be a bit more carefull in selecting the type of people they sleep with.

Still no instances that appear to be owt to do with people needing to be more carefull NOT to sleep with ass-halfs so far ...

Did I miss anything?
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#19 Old 12-06-2011, 12:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Did I miss anything?

A lot.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#20 Old 12-06-2011, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

Amazon.com carries Clueless Git's 257-page book Lemme Finish It Goddamnit, I'm Halfway Through - My Vision for a New Sexual Morality. It's mainly been ordered by various prisons.

Just for the record ...

I found that funny too!
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#21 Old 12-06-2011, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Just for the record ...

I found that funny too!

a collective sigh of relief.

The Big Bad.
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#22 Old 12-06-2011, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
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A lot.

Uh-huh?
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#23 Old 12-06-2011, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Uh-huh?

Yu-up.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#24 Old 12-06-2011, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Still no instances that appear to be owt to do with people needing to be more carefull NOT to sleep with ass-halfs so far ...

I'm not convinced that this is English.
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#25 Old 12-06-2011, 12:25 PM
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Not that my post is going to be very insightful but I need to say(with this thread and backreading on the Abortion thread) how much more I love and appreicate my boyshape.
I asked him to stop once because I was in pain and had a slight anxiety attack, he did and even comforted me and sat with me till I calmed down telling me how much he would rather I was ok than 'finishing'.
Thats a real man!
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#26 Old 12-06-2011, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless Git View Post

Still no instances that appear to be owt to do with people needing to be more carefull NOT to sleep with ass-halfs so far ...

Did I miss anything?

Did you just not bother to read any posts?
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#27 Old 12-06-2011, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .Goth-Alice. View Post

Not that my post is going to be very insightful but I need to say(with this thread and backreading on the Abortion thread) how much more I love and appreicate my boyshape.
I asked him to stop once because I was in pain and had a slight anxiety attack, he did and even comforted me and sat with me till I calmed down telling me how much he would rather I was ok than 'finishing'.
Thats a real man!

So CG, according to your posts in this and the abortion thread, by asking to stop in the middle of sex, .Goth_Alice was being a "prick-tease," acting like a barbary ape and deserves to be treated like one, and should have thought more carefully before sleeping with her partner who sounds...totally respectful and awesome by the way, but what do I know. You stand by all that?

(Sorry to use you so shamelessly like this, Alice, but I'd be really interested to see what he says. And congrats on what does sound like a truly lovely man. )
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#28 Old 12-06-2011, 02:24 PM
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Don't understand why you put a trigger warning on a thread about rape anyway.

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
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#29 Old 12-06-2011, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

Yeah, it was kind of funny. I expect it was pretty disconcerting for him in the split second before he realized what had happened


I wouldn't have even slowed down.

edit: Well, obviously, in the context of this thread, I guess if the girl felt embarassed or dirty and wanted to stop or something I'd be obligated to. But it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I don't see why blood and discharges are supposed to be any more gross than any other bodily fluids produced during sex.

Tam! RUGH!
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#30 Old 12-06-2011, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

I will submit to the group that not only is it rape to continue to perpetuate a sex act on someone who has asked you (or otherwise indicated that she or he wanted you) to stop, but also that people who believe that it's not rape are probably really, really bad in bed.

Would believing it's rape make me really really good in bed? Or just really really good at the not raping people aspect of it? (I think I'm already good at that)
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