If you had the chance - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 08-17-2011, 05:08 PM
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To take in a child that was living in a total hell hole, dirty conditions, meals not exactly regular or healthy.
You can give him a clean home, large yard, healthy food, schooling and hope.

Would you take him away from his current family or would you leave him there.

Edit to avoid confusion.
I am not suggesting kidnapping anyone.
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#2 Old 08-17-2011, 05:12 PM
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I would never kidnap a child.
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#3 Old 08-17-2011, 05:27 PM
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What do you mean by "take"? If you mean obtaining legal custody, I absolutely would. If you mean kidnapping them, no.

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
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#4 Old 08-17-2011, 05:27 PM
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Maybe I worded it wrong, kidnap was not in the equation.
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#5 Old 08-17-2011, 05:33 PM
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i wouldn't take that child even if his current family would beg me to. i would pay for a few abortions if i had the cash though
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#6 Old 08-17-2011, 05:40 PM
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If a child wanted to live with me, their living conditions would only be marginally better.
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#7 Old 08-17-2011, 05:50 PM
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I guess I'm reading this the wrong way.

I'm assuming that Fatman is in this situation and is trying to find out if we think it would be right for him to do this.

Am I wrong? Because if you're just asking us because you're curious as to what we would do in this situation, my answer would be different.

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
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#8 Old 08-17-2011, 05:50 PM
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I never had children by choice. I would not want the children of others.

I can't overall disagree with Ira's post either. Just too many people in the world. And too many people having kids they themselves can't care for.
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#9 Old 08-17-2011, 06:11 PM
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Anyone interested in providing a safe, stable, loving home for a kid in need, check out: http://www.adoptuskids.org/

Edit to add: to answer the OP's question, no. There are too many children who are more severly neglected and/or abused who need my help more. A dirty home and irregular meals do not rise to the level of child maltreatment that I believe warrants removal. However, if the parent wanted me to adopt that child and my husband was OK with it, then I might consider it.
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#10 Old 08-17-2011, 07:57 PM
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I'd ask what the child wants...unless it's only a baby. Then until it can make an informed decision.
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#11 Old 08-17-2011, 08:24 PM
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I wouldn't want to take on the burden of someone else's problem, so no, I wouldn't take the child. I purposefully chose (and took precautions) to not have children.

The only way I would is if someone I knew died and there was no one else to take on the responsibility.
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#12 Old 08-17-2011, 08:42 PM
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If I wasn't a teenager and I could afford it, sure.

DON'T BRING MY MOTHER INTO THIS!
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#13 Old 08-17-2011, 09:12 PM
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I'd only ever adopt an orphan, not that I'd ever trust myself to properly raise any child in any case.

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#14 Old 08-17-2011, 09:14 PM
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Not a chance. I will never put a child in those circumstances, but it is not my personal responsibility to rescue any that are.
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#15 Old 08-17-2011, 09:38 PM
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no i wouldn't. i don't plan on having kids around. however, if i was in the situation you described, with enough money, i may become involved in the child's life in other ways.
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#16 Old 08-17-2011, 09:58 PM
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#17 Old 08-17-2011, 11:21 PM
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Fatman, is this another of your "sociological experiments"?

"Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Auntie Mame
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#18 Old 08-18-2011, 11:41 AM
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I don't want someone else's kid. I don't have a ton of other stuff to do tho, so I wouldn't mind helping out some other way.
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#19 Old 08-18-2011, 11:46 AM
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Yes, I've seriously considered it.

auto correct can kiss my ask
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#20 Old 08-18-2011, 11:50 AM
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Yes and have been in a similar circumstance but thankfully it worked out ok. If the child was old enough I would want to know what they wanted first though and if they wanted to stay at home would try and support them the best I oculd
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#21 Old 08-18-2011, 11:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepydvdr View Post

The only way I would is if someone I knew died and there was no one else to take on the responsibility.

+1

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
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#22 Old 08-18-2011, 07:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *AHIMSA* View Post

Fatman, is this another of your "sociological experiments"?

That's what I'm starting to think.

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
Jean-Paul Sartre
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#23 Old 08-19-2011, 04:21 AM
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I'd like to think I would...the desire is there. And that's assuming the family, including the child was agreeable. But a better scenario would be to use my supposed resources to leave the child where he/she was and help make the living conditions better.
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#24 Old 08-19-2011, 10:46 PM
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It depends, really. You could be rich and have nothing, or you could be poor and have everything.
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#25 Old 08-20-2011, 07:21 AM
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I did take in a child that was living in an abusive home situation. She was a friend of my daughters and lived with my family for over 2 years. I never had even one telephone call from her so called "mother or father" during that time. I like to think that I gave her memories a stable happy home life during that time. Unfortunately, I can't save them all, because the last I heard, she was making some really awful life decisions.

Note: Of course there is much more to this story that I will not go into.

I also took in a friend of my son who lived with us for 6 months due to the bad decisions his mother was making.
I never heard from his mother during this time. I am very happy to say that he is doing very well and recently graduated college.
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#26 Old 08-20-2011, 07:26 AM
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I want to add for clarification that both kids I took in were around 15/16 and both came to me about living at my home. I did not take them.
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#27 Old 08-20-2011, 07:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disney.jessica View Post

It depends, really. You could be rich and have nothing, or you could be poor and have everything.

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#28 Old 08-20-2011, 08:36 AM
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My husbands and I home is always open to any child that wants a peaceful and loving and caring environment , if they are not having it in their home.
I will not go to a parent and say I want to take your child and raise it your doing a poor job. There are paperwork involved with all of this if you want to do something like this right and legal. If its a young child like a baby or toddler , I only take them in if the parent is dead.
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#29 Old 08-20-2011, 09:25 AM
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No, I wouldn't. I'm not in a position to give the child the stable, loving environment it needs.

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -Sirius Black
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#30 Old 08-20-2011, 09:35 AM
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I wanted to also add that right now we do have the chance and we are taking it. My step-dad's four-year-old who he hasn't seen she was an infant, was living with her mother, because he couldn't get custody because of lies the mother said. The mother sleeps in bed all day, and is up all night, but won't take care of the daughter. The daughter walks around all day and night with no clothes on, and goes to neighbors' homes begging for food because the mom's either asleep or depressed and she won't take care of her daughter. None of us knew this until recently, and my step-dad and his parents were sending the mom of the daughter money, and instead of taking care of the daughter, the mother got brand new 52-inch flat screens and premium DirecTV service, but stopped paing necessities like elecricity, trash, water, etc. There's trash all over the house, mold, a hole in the floor from a piano, and she has dogs and cats also cooped up in the home, living in their own feces and urine, probably also with no food. The mother also had a boyfriend, straight out of jail, living there who is now suspected to have been hurting the daughter and mother. In addition, a 17-year-old comes over while the mother is asleep, who's supposed to watch the daughter, but instead just goes on the computer while the daughter runs around the streets, and he's suspected of sexually hurting the daughter now, too. There's also two guns in the house, unregistered.

When my step-grandparents went to see the daughter (Who lives in another state, Washington, so that's why my stepdad didn't see her, in addition to a restraining order), they discovered what the mom was doing and everything that was going on, and they called CPS, who first kept giving more and more warnings and they finally just took her out and put her in foster care. We're trying to get custody to take her in with us, but since the mother will probably fight back a lot against that and cost us a lot of money in lawyers and my parents can barely take care of the three of us without lawyer fees on top for his daughter, we're just happy that she's in foster care taking care of her, and custody could possibly go to my stepgrandparents, since they aren't listed on the restraining order. So we have had the chance to help a child in need, and we've all done and are doing all we can by calling CPS repeatedly and making sure she's in a good home even if her mom is manipulative and won't let us personally provide her with a good home.
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