Promise/Engagement/Wedding Rings - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 02-27-2004, 10:42 AM
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What is their value to you?



The co-habitating couples thread seemed to lean towards discussing this.



Myself, I wear a ring of little monetary, but a lot of family / historical / sentimental, value.



I think rings CAN be a lovely symbol. But what makes them "valuable"?



To me, diamonds are just shiny rocks.
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#2 Old 02-27-2004, 10:54 AM
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The value of my bands are as a symbol of our commitment. The engagement ring is a symobol of our promise of marriage, the wedding ring of our eternal love and devotion.



When i went out for my engagement ring i went out looking for something that was ME. I scoured the jewellery shops, and finally found one in a second hand shop. It's beautiful, everyone comments on it. It's not very valuable though, except to me. I'd be devestated if i lost it, it's unique as far as i know and can't be replaced. Gary had £300 set aside for a ring, and was pleasantly surprised when i picked this one. He pocketed most of that money and we spent it on fun things

I didn't even know if the diamonds were real until i had it resized.

My wedding ring is a plain ridged gold band, which matches my husbands, his is inscribed inside with Marie Anne and mines with Gary. They're perfect. I think both together cost £23
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#3 Old 02-27-2004, 11:05 AM
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My ring isn't that fancy or expensive (it's a pawn shop ring). I was really touched when I received it because my boyfriend is not the shopping type. And to make a decision such as this was huge. Like I said in the other thread, we aren't getting married. He wanted to give me something as a physical representation of his commitment and love to me.



I like wearing it because when I see it I really don't see the ring but more of the emotion that it represents. I see my boyfriends love, devotion, and his want for me to be happy and content.
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#4 Old 02-27-2004, 11:06 AM
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Well, I think I should be more prized as a possession than a car.





ETA: Sorry. I thought it was funny.



I think you should pick something out that is your style and that you really like, as you will most likely wear it the rest of your life. It shouldn't be a rushed decision or a decision based too much on cost. Quality/clarity is very important. The symbolic value is the most important aspect, of course.
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#5 Old 02-27-2004, 03:06 PM
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My engagement/wedding ring is a very modest double silver band with a tiny diamond . I don't like jewlery and shiny rocks don't impress me (I'd much rather have ink). My ring belonged to my mom-mom and it was given to her by my pop-pop on their 25th anniversery. It means a lot to me, and that she gave it to me. I was a mess when it slipped off my finger one day and was missing for a week. It turned up right on top of my couch cushin - I still think my deceased pop-pop had something to do with returning it to me
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#6 Old 02-27-2004, 03:28 PM
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I have the "traditional" engagment ring and wedding band. Dylan trailed after me at dozens of jewlery stores while I tried on everything from *BLING BLING* to *ding ding* Dylan went to a jeweler who dealt in loose diamonds and custom settings. Apparently he spent several lunch hours (the jeweler was 1 block from his workplace) examining loose diamonds. That said, I LOVE my engagment ring! My wedding ring is a small 14k white gold band, very plain. His wedding band is a bigger version of mine, also in white gold.



When I look at my engagement ring, I see the promise that Dylan made to me. My wedding ring I see the commitment that Dylan and I made before God, our friends and family to spend the rest of our lives together.



We will be married two years in April



Although I have a diamond ring, I don't think the ring HAS to be a diamond.(Although DeBeers would like us to think so!) It's a cheap marketing ploy. Jewlery diamond or otherwise, is a very intimate gift. It takes on whatever meaning or value the wearer gives it. It's possible to have a meaningless piece of Harry Winston and a priceless piece of tin.
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#7 Old 02-27-2004, 04:13 PM
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I love my engagement ring. I helped my husband pick it out. I have very tiny fingers and didn't want anything huge and expensive. I'm very practically and would rather spend the money on a house. To me, the price tag doesn't reflect how much he loves you. My husband insisted that he get an engagement ring too because he wanted the world to know he was taken
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#8 Old 02-27-2004, 04:31 PM
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I need to get a replacement for my band. I stopped wearing it when I had a really bad bout of tendonitis. We're cheap though, just plain silver.
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#9 Old 02-27-2004, 05:01 PM
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I'm not married, or getting married anytime soon, but when i do, i'd like a diamond. I think its more about diamonds lasting forever--symbolizing your commitment, than the actual cost. Other stones may be prettier, but much more easily damageable. Even if they were cheap, i think people would still want them for their symbolic value.
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#10 Old 02-27-2004, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eva-bo-beva View Post

I'm not married, or getting married anytime soon, but when i do, i'd like a diamond. I think its more about diamonds lasting forever--symbolizing your commitment, than the actual cost. Other stones may be prettier, but much more easily damageable. Even if they were cheap, i think people would still want them for their symbolic value.



Ugh, looking beyond the marketing hype that has elevated the diamond above a minor stone to a "must have three of them" commodity, diamonds are probably one of the few consumer products more evil than meat. I really, really, really hope that the synthetic gem diamond industry takes off and renders the DeBeers *******s irrelevant.



If you really, really, really gotta have a diamond for aesthetic or symbolic value, please look into recycling a nice legacy or antique diamond.
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#11 Old 02-27-2004, 05:23 PM
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kirkjobsluder: "diamonds are probably one of the few consumer products more evil than meat"



I hope you're kidding.
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#12 Old 02-27-2004, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Eva-bo-beva View Post

kirkjobsluder: "diamonds are probably one of the few consumer products more evil than meat"



I hope you're kidding.



Perhaps a slight exaggeration, but the primary ways in which new natural diamonds come into the united states involve severe human rights abuses.
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#13 Old 02-27-2004, 07:15 PM
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i dont value them a lot, but if it is symbolic to someone of my trust for them, if it will remind them of that its fine with me, although personally i dont think diamonds are necessary, i happen to like emeralds..granted they are just shiny rocks..but i think we enjoy all kinds of simple joys like that throughout our life..just as long as you dont put too much worth on a rock i think its ok
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#14 Old 02-27-2004, 07:16 PM
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Kirkjobsluder beat me to it. If my (hypothetical) fiance were to ever give me a diamond, it would reveal how little he knew about me. Even the slightest chance that it was a conflict diamond would make me ill every time that it looked like it, and the fact that I had had a part in creating the market that allows conflict diamonds to exist would be just horrid. I'd rather eat steak every day for the rest of my life than ever buy a diamond.



Eva -- there are a lot of books on this topic, but one of the more recent ones that focuses just on Sierra Leone's involvement with conflict diamonds is Blood Diamonds by Greg Campbell. I highly recommend it.



That said, when my ex and I were talking about getting married, we agreed that neither of us would spend more than $20 on each others' rings. What I want is a plain sterling silver band. It would be about $5.
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#15 Old 02-27-2004, 07:41 PM
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Perhaps I should post my comments about the ring from the other thread.



I would only own a Canadian diamond (mined in Canada) b/c then I'd know that it was not a conflict diamond. Conflict diamonds are primarily from Africa, whereby local ganglords use the profits of the diamonds to fund wars and rebellions (hence "conflict" diamonds). Currently, there is no real way to track a diamond's history. There is pressure, exp in Belgium (diamond "capital") to introduce an international tracking system of diamonds. Until that happens, I will not purchase a non-canadian diamond.



Of course, there are some questionable diamond companies in canada, whereby they think they should be allowed to rip up the entire Northern territories, but that is another debate.
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#16 Old 02-28-2004, 01:12 AM
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I don't like jewelry, in general. I find gems beautiful ( I love emeralds ) and pearls absolutely gorgeous; though I don't care to have them. I have some rings handed down to me from my family and I value those based on the history. I think the gesture of offering a ring or other piece of jewelry to a special person is genuinely romantic and, hopefully, sincere. I would prefer something other than a diamond or other gem purchased at the expense of another (whether a person or the environment); but would not be angry if someone was unaware of my feelings on the issue and innocently purchased something.
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#17 Old 02-28-2004, 08:28 AM
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I have 2 cubic zirconia's that are just beautiful. One is set in silver and is an emerald green, the other looks like a diamond set in gold. Everyone always comments on how beautiful my emeral and diamond is. Then they're shocked when I mention they're fake. Man made stones or lab created gems nowadays are really well done. One can hardly tell the difference and they are so much cheaper.
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#18 Old 02-28-2004, 02:55 PM
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If I get married, I would like to exchange symbolic gifts. To me the gifts should be:

1)durable, so they can last forever through thick and thin, much like the relationship will be (hopefully ; ) )

2) symbolic of willingness to sacrifice to demonstrate commitment. This could mean requiring saving money, making a lot of effort finding a very unique item, making something with a lot of thought and effort, or some combination of similar things. Anyone can buy someone a cheap piece of junk with little or no thought put into it to try to woo someone. But if a lot of thought, effort, time, etc. was required, that demonstrates the person is really serious.

3) preferably portable and viewable by others. This would allow one to have a reminder of the comittment with one at all times. To me, marriage is social, not just personal, and some sort of ceremony and symbol that others can see is sharing your committment with others. To me this is important because it is like when you set a goal to get in shape. You can do it on your own in private, but if you make an official declaration, you are further committing yourself, but also allowing for your community or peers to participate in your goal (and you can support others also trying to get in shape). Likewise, forming a family(children or not) is forming a new unity in a community. Ideally, the unit supports the community and the community supports the unit.



Jewelry fits these criteria quite well. I would be open to other options. like as mentioned above, anyone who bought me a non-Canadian diamond would not know me very well. Furthermore, I would like colored stones and a high quality synthetic stone like a nice cz would appeal to my practical side. I hear the average engagment ring is $2,500. That seems like too much to me. I never wear jewelry and find it impractical, but I would love to wear something with real meaning to me.
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#19 Old 02-28-2004, 03:19 PM
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If you're interested in why diamonds are evil, go to freerangegraphics.com and look in their web gallery, they did the meatrix, and made a debeers parody about who died for your diamond. I personally agree that diamonds are just as bad if not worse than meat. In Sirrea Leion (i have no idea if thats spelled right) the terrorist regieme marks its workers by cutting off body parts, among other things. I dont care how sparkly it is i would never wear one.
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#20 Old 02-28-2004, 03:38 PM
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Thalia - I've considered an engagement necklace.



I told my bf about this conversation and he said, "washer and dryer, huh? How about the entire series of Deep Space 9 on DVD?" He knows me tooooo well!
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#21 Old 02-28-2004, 04:07 PM
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If I am able to find someone I can actually connect with on a spiritual, ethical, and intellectual level, the last thing on my mind will be getting a some superfluous piece of carbon. Please don't get me wrong; I find beauty in gems, but they certainly aren't 'friends' of mine, and I would never want to put someone I care for in debt because of a ring.



I would like something more simple, and I would want him to choose it for me. It would simply carry more meaning that way.
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#22 Old 02-28-2004, 04:13 PM
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I don't know about promise rings...they seems sort of like a token of engagement to be engaged...Or that is the way I've understood it by people I knew who had promise rings (usually high schoolers who end up never getting to the actual engagement).



I am very torn by diamonds. I have been told all my life by my father that diamonds are essentially evil. That said, they make me uncomfortable and yet the draw for traditional is still there. Canadian diamonds are the way to go, but I've read that once the diamonds are mixed into the market, it is impossilbe to distinguish them from the African diamonds. Some diamonds, however, are being marked now so that a jeweller could identify that they are from Canada (though that is still the minority of diamonds from there).
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#23 Old 02-28-2004, 04:30 PM
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Being in Canada, it is a lot easier for me to get Canadian diamonds, as many of them aren't leaving the country anymore. And yes, many Canadian diamonds are now being marked BECAUSE of the issues with diamonds. Also, it is in anticapation of international markings of all diamonds in the future - which everyone knows will happen, it's just a matter of WHEN.



Promise rings? Oh don't get me started. "I promise to ask you to marry me in the future." Oh come on.
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#24 Old 02-28-2004, 04:40 PM
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Promise rings sound silly. Some of my sister's high school friends had them, and now that they're all graduated, they're breaking up at an alarming rate. My sister, for some reason, is surprised, but I told her that would happen...



Quote:
2) symbolic of willingness to sacrifice to demonstrate commitment. This could mean requiring saving money, making a lot of effort finding a very unique item, making something with a lot of thought and effort, or some combination of similar things.



I always thought going in on buying a house would cover that one. It's unique, definitely involves a financial investment, requires compromise, and should last a long time.



That doesn't fit your portable preference, though.
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#25 Old 02-28-2004, 04:50 PM
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Take pictures of the house. They're portable.
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#26 Old 02-28-2004, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by thebelovedtree View Post

If you're interested in why diamonds are evil, go to freerangegraphics.com and look in their web gallery, they did the meatrix, and made a debeers parody about who died for your diamond. I personally agree that diamonds are just as bad if not worse than meat. In Sirrea Leion (i have no idea if thats spelled right) the terrorist regieme marks its workers by cutting off body parts, among other things. I dont care how sparkly it is i would never wear one.



How do you feel about used diamonds? Ones in the pawn shops?
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#27 Old 02-28-2004, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirl View Post

I don't know about promise rings...they seems sort of like a token of engagement to be engaged...Or that is the way I've understood it by people I knew who had promise rings (usually high schoolers who end up never getting to the actual engagement).





Maybe what I was given isn't a promise ring? It's got 3 small stones that stand for yesterday, today, and tomorrow. What is the name for that ring? Anyone know?
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#28 Old 02-28-2004, 06:49 PM
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My wife and I each have gold bands. What's really special about them is that they were my Grandparents. I see them as symbolic because they were married 63 years. When I proposed to Marie (after about three months about twenty years ago) I gave her a nice diamond. The only thing is that it took her about 12 1/2 years to say yes. There's definitely no rushing that girl. What can I say but that I'm a man that knows what he wants.

We seldom wear our rings though. For one thing, with the occupation I have, I'd really rather not loose a finger because of it and Marie would have to take her's off so much for work that she's afraid she'd loose them.



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#29 Old 02-28-2004, 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted by MsRuthieB View Post

How do you feel about used diamonds? Ones in the pawn shops?



I feel that while, yes you're not supporting conflict diamonds by getting them at a pawn shop, it makes a more powerful statement to not have them at all. When I do get engaged, then my having a non-traditional ring will prompt others to ask questions and hopefully create a more powerful boycott. To me its the same as buying used leather, etc. Its not as bad as buying it first hand, but you're still sending the message that leather is ok by you.
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#30 Old 02-28-2004, 07:00 PM
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Hmm..I've always thought the same when folks keep their leather articles after going Vegan (keeping them until the wear out or whatever). I see your point. I'm making a diamond out of the carbon of both my parents when they pass.



I wonder what people think when I wear my CZ ring and they think it's a diamond?
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