Overweight people removed from dating website [potentially TRIGGERING] - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-04-2010, 01:56 PM
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#2 Old 01-04-2010, 02:01 PM
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Too far?



Ya think?



I think it's ridiculous. But are these people really that surprised? They're narcissistic enough to be on a dating site that doesn't allow "uglies" or "fatties"...hurts to have someone else pass that judgement on you after you've already done it to others by participating in the first place.



Karma...she's a fickle mistress.
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#3 Old 01-04-2010, 02:36 PM
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Uh, they got exactly what they wanted, and what was advertised. How is this an issue?



Feel free to kick me off VB if I post pictures of me celebrating the holidays by "letting myself go" and shoving animal carcasses down my throat, mkay? I promise I won't complain or go the media outlets.
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#4 Old 01-04-2010, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

Ya think?



I think it's ridiculous. But are these people really that surprised? They're narcissistic enough to be on a dating site that doesn't allow "uglies" or "fatties"...hurts to have someone else pass that judgement on you after you've already done it to others by participating in the first place.



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Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

Uh, they got exactly what they wanted, and what was advertised. How is this an issue?



Feel free to kick me off VB if I post pictures of me celebrating the holidays by "letting myself go" and shoving animal carcasses down my throat, mkay? I promise I won't complain or go the media outlets.



Agree with both of you. I'm really appalled that such a site even exists, but yeah, if you're going to subject yourself to that type of judgement, I guess you shouldn't be surprised. Sounds like current members judge if new members can "get in," so the "reject" have probably rejected others as well.
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#5 Old 01-04-2010, 02:54 PM
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I see nothing wrong with this. There are plenty of other dating sites, some even free, where they can meet people. If you go on a site for 'beautiful people' you have to go in with a pretty high confidence.



That being said, years ago when I was on a dating site, I had to deal with people who would mis-respresent themselves. I'm not against those that are over-weight, hell I could lose a few, but in reality it's in your best interest to be honest about it so those who aren't attracted to larger body-types won't reject you, and those who are into larger body-types will be able to find you.



I recall one guy who messaged me repeatedly and only gave me a head-shot. We then met for coffee, and when he arrived I was in shock as he was very, very, large. I'm not attracted to people who are unhealthy, be it really stick thin or really over-weight. I wanted a partner who I feel confident has some degree of health, it doesn't matter if they are gorgeous, but I couldn't see this guy accompanying me on a hike or bike-ride. I was polite and made modest conversation, and eventually he admitted to only sending out headshots from when he was 100 lbs lighter for that reason. I then told him that I really hope he finds someone, but I don't think he'd fit well into my lifestyle. He agreed and realized he had set himself up, and I still see him around town and say 'Hi." There are no hurt feelings, but it is truly frustrating when people aren't honest.



I had a few people call be a b***h over it, but I'm sorry, I'm not going to lie about being attracted to someone to be 'nice.' There is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be honest and comfortable in who you are.
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#6 Old 01-04-2010, 03:19 PM
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I had a few people call be a b***h over it, but I'm sorry, I'm not going to lie about being attracted to someone to be 'nice.' There is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be honest and comfortable in who you are.



I understand what you mean, and I don't blame you for it at all. That's not what I find ridiculous. I find it ridiculous that people are *****ing about being judged for getting fat over the holidays, when they are on a dating website like this one.



I'm not sexually attracted to really overweight people either, to be perfectly honest. But I think if good looks are one's primary criteria for selecting a mate (such as with this website, which advertises: Do you want to guarantee your dates will always be beautiful?) rather than a deeper connection, they've got MUCH bigger issues to deal with than being single on a Saturday night...
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#7 Old 01-04-2010, 03:24 PM
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I'm not sexually attracted to really overweight people either, to be perfectly honest. But I think if good looks are one's primary criteria for selecting a mate (such as with this website, which advertises: Do you want to guarantee your dates will always be beautiful?) rather than a deeper connection, they've got MUCH bigger issues to deal with than being single on a Saturday night...



Exactly. My boyfriend isn't exactly a GQ model, but I love his personality, and thus, we are together. I had plenty of men who were 'hot' but they knew it, and expected me to obsess over my appearance. No thanks!



They should use a knock-off of Lava-Life's slogan ('Where singles click'): 'Where the superficial clique.'
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#8 Old 01-04-2010, 04:44 PM
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''Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.''



This almost seems like a parody website.

slops, gloops, and gruels.
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#9 Old 01-04-2010, 04:46 PM
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This almost seems like a parody website.



If only...
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#10 Old 01-04-2010, 05:08 PM
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Makes me want to start BigBeautifulPeople.com.
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#11 Old 01-04-2010, 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by peace View Post

This almost seems like a parody website.



They have a point, but they are being rude. The should of phrased it differently.



Quote:
Makes me want to start BigBeautifulPeople.com.



What about www.PhatPeople.com?
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#12 Old 01-04-2010, 06:35 PM
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Makes me want to start BigBeautifulPeople.com.



No doubt!
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#13 Old 01-04-2010, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by froggythefrog View Post

Makes me want to start BigBeautifulPeople.com.



awesome idea



and I hate the word Fat and dont care if people wanna say PHAT....how offensive
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#14 Old 01-04-2010, 07:05 PM
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and I hate the word Fat and dont care if people wanna say PHAT....how offensive



I'm not sure on your phrasing if you are against the term 'phat' or for it, but in case you're against it I'll post the meaning here:



Quote:
Phat

adjective



•very good, excellent; COOL.



Eg: That's a phat bike.

by Anonymous, Jan 16 1997.



•attractive. Note: an acronym, "pretty hot and tempting," has been invented for the word. The acronym came after the original coining of the term.



From: http://onlineslangdictionary.com/definition+of/phat
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#15 Old 01-04-2010, 07:15 PM
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Eh, there's websites for almost everything. If their standard is "beautiful," though, that's pretty subjective and could be anyone. The person you think is ugly? The next person will fall in love at first sight. If they said "slim," I could see this happening.
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#16 Old 01-04-2010, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Alicia Avocado View Post

I'm not sure on your phrasing if you are against the term 'phat' or for it, but in case you're against it I'll post the meaning here:







From: http://onlineslangdictionary.com/definition+of/phat



Thanx for The Schooling.....I know what it means.....I DONT LIKE IT!!
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#17 Old 01-04-2010, 07:46 PM
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[QUOTE=jenni-anti-fur]Thanx for The Schooling.....I know what it means.....I DONT LIKE IT!.....Slang isnt my deal
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#18 Old 01-04-2010, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by sarahjayn1980 View Post

Okay, I get this, but do you know how hard it is to do? I'm not talking from some mamby-pamby emotional state perspective, either. There are so many euphemisms for overweight on these websites because the general public is so uncomfortable with access weight that it could make your head spin, and none of them really come out and say, "I'm just overweight."



I don't like putting "big and beautiful," because I'm not. I'm on the average height side, I'm overweight, and I'm more on the quirky side than beautiful.



I don't want to be discribed as "BBW" for the same reason.



I'm not attracted to people, either, who usually look up "BBW" ladies because usually, ime, all they want you for is your biggness. I imagine it would lead to the same dissatisfaction that people would get from being in a relationship with you just because you are "Athletic and Toned" or "Slender."



There are other less accurate options, like "A Few Extra Pounds" (it is well pass a few), or "Stocky" (not really), or "Full Figured" (yeah, people picture Queen Latifa and I can't afford her Spanx - she works it, though). The list goes on . . .



Also, if you are more descriptive in an open, honest, and frank way in your profile people think you are some sort of self-hating monster because they can't actually imagine you'd be capable of being a happy person and realistic about your weight and looks. Hence, you don't get any dates but about a million cheer up e-mails from nice people and another million stop your whining fat ass e-mails from mean people. Neither asked for.



So, generally, I am at a loss because I've had experience picking what's closest to describe myself and people getting all mifted because I, "misrepresented" myself. Just a little other-side-of-the-coin perspective for you.



Sounds frustrating. I like to meet friends in person and online but dates only considered after an in-person meeting. Is there a site you can go for that? Or I'd put no tick for the physical indicators and write my own words or put just my height, weight, and size IF that's important to people. IF....
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#19 Old 01-04-2010, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by jenni-anti-fur View Post

awesome idea



and I hate the word Fat and dont care if people wanna say PHAT....how offensive



Some people are fat. I am fat. Not very phat, though, by I am fat. Fat and proud!



This website is stoopid. Some fat people are beautiful. Beeeyooootiful! Just because you put on a few pounds over Christmas doesn't mean you suddenly get uglfied. Besides, some skinny people are ugly as mangy dogs.
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#20 Old 01-04-2010, 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Alicia Avocado View Post

What about www.PhatPeople.com?



I love it!
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#21 Old 01-04-2010, 08:07 PM
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What about www.PhatPeople.com?



I love it!
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#22 Old 01-04-2010, 08:15 PM
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A wouldn't go out of my way to choose an partner who was overweight or anything, but if he proved himself to be a nice guy I don't think I could reject him based on his weight. Big guys give great hugs actually. Not that I would base a relationship on that either but you know, just saying.

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#23 Old 01-04-2010, 08:20 PM
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I wouldn't go out of my way to look for an partner who was overweight or anything, but if he proved himself to be a nice guy and suitable in other ways, I don't think I could reject him based on his weight. Big guys give great hugs actually! Not that I would base a relationship on that, but you know, just saying.

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#24 Old 01-04-2010, 08:46 PM
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The Rock is carrying a little excess weight and he is still sexy. Likewise scarlet johansen who carries a little and Kate Winslet who carries a lot at times. Scarlet is plump and perfect!!!
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#25 Old 01-04-2010, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Firefly by 3 View Post

The Rock is carrying a little excess weight and he is still sexy. Likewise scarlet johansen who carries a little and Kate Winslet who carries a lot at times. Scarlet is plump and perfect!!!



I'm sorry but... Scarlet Johansen isn't plump. Her bmi is definitely in the normal range. It's sad that when an actress isn't underweight she is considered plump.
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#26 Old 01-04-2010, 09:08 PM
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Originally Posted by veggiemeggie View Post

I'm sorry but... Scarlet Johansen isn't plump. Her bmi is definitely in the normal range. It's sad that when an actress isn't underweight she is considered plump.



+1
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#27 Old 01-04-2010, 09:09 PM
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She is being a little plump in this picture. Plump but HOT!

But I think she eats meat and that makes her UGLY. UGLY AS SIN.
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#28 Old 01-04-2010, 09:10 PM
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Your photo doesn't work.
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#29 Old 01-04-2010, 09:22 PM
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Oh, I am sorry, it worked for me. I use Internet Explorer.
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#30 Old 01-04-2010, 09:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Firefly by 3 View Post

The Rock is carrying a little excess weight and he is still sexy. Likewise scarlet johansen who carries a little and Kate Winslet who carries a lot at times. Scarlet is plump and perfect!!!







Yeh right, and Brittany Murphy was a little bit on the podgy side too wasn't she.

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