Overweight people removed from dating website [potentially TRIGGERING] - Page 6 - VeggieBoards
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#151 Old 01-06-2010, 02:42 PM
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You're right - it's entirely possible Stanie doesn't have any sense of physical attraction whatsoever.

There's a difference though with the reality of physical attraction and the categorizing of some people as plain ugly.

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#152 Old 01-06-2010, 02:46 PM
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Hey Firefly, I think I just found a perfect woman for you



I'm not sure if she's veg*n, but you could always try to contact her and find out. Here she is:


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#153 Old 01-06-2010, 02:46 PM
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There's a difference though with the reality of physical attraction and the categorizing of some people as plain ugly.



If physical attractiveness exists, it's reasonable to assume that lack of physical attractiveness also exists. And what is considered ugly to one person could easily be beautiful to another. Like I said before, it's a highly individual assessment. Someone else might have found the woman I saw at the gym and thought of as homely beautiful because she was in such great physical shape. I'm not saying that's an untrue assessment of her looks either. Two people can look at the same person and come away with completely different ideas of their physical attractiveness.
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#154 Old 01-06-2010, 02:50 PM
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Sevenseas that picture is disturbing! I wish it was photoshopped but I guess it probably isn't, ugh.

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#155 Old 01-06-2010, 02:50 PM
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If physical attractiveness exists, it's reasonable to assume that lack of physical attractiveness also exists.

Yes, but depending on the person, lack of physical attraction for someone doesn't need to mean ugliness. Friendship exists and so lack of friendship exists, but that doesn't mean anyone who's not a friend is a hated enemy.

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#156 Old 01-06-2010, 02:57 PM
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And really, as a hetero male I don't really find most men physically attractive. Does that mean I think men in general are ugly?

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#157 Old 01-06-2010, 02:58 PM
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Yes, but depending on the person, lack of physical attraction for someone doesn't need to mean ugliness. Friendship exists and so lack of friendship exists, but that doesn't mean anyone who's not a friend is a hated enemy.



That's true. But it can potentially mean ugliness (at least in the individual's perception) if the person finds said someone unpleasant to look at.











No difference?



Quote:
And really, as a hetero male I don't really find most men physically attractive. Does that mean I think men in general are ugly?



So you find absolutely no men to be ugly to your estimation?
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#158 Old 01-06-2010, 03:06 PM
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So you find absolutely no men to be ugly to your estimation?

Many of them, but not as a necessary consequence of not being physically attracted to them.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#159 Old 01-06-2010, 03:08 PM
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Many of them, but not as a necessary consequence of not being physically attracted to them.



I agree with you, physical attractiveness and beauty are definitely two separate things.



I have seen several men who I would consider "ugly" in the face that I found physically attractive for other reasons (like being in great shape, or being...er...gifted).
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#160 Old 01-06-2010, 03:11 PM
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Sevenseas that picture is disturbing! I wish it was photoshopped but I guess it probably isn't, ugh.

It is photoshopped, and it became quite infamous as an example of the extents to which Ralph Lauren were willing to go.

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#161 Old 01-06-2010, 03:15 PM
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It is photoshopped, and it became quite infamous as an example of the extents to which Ralph Lauren were willing to go.



Well I'm relieved that person isn't really like that, she looks on the verge of crumbling into dust.



But still, gross, she looks so sick and wrong that it almost makes it more bizarre that the photo was intentionally manipulated for that effect. Grossing people out is a terrible way to convince them to buy your clothes.

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#162 Old 01-06-2010, 10:48 PM
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Seriously? You have never even begun to find any film actors or male models sexually appealing? At all? I don't think this is the common experience.

I think there is a difference between being able to recognize and appreciate human beauty, and feeling physical attraction. I don't know any male models or film actors in person, so I can't say I feel physically attracted to them, because pictures don't do anything for me. If I were to find an image of someone beautiful, I still doubt that I would feel any attraction, in terms of actually wanting to jump their bones, so to speak, in their physical presence unless I knew them well enough to discover that they possessed other qualities that I find attractive. I know there are plenty of people who don't need anything except instant lust at first sight for someone they find 'hot" to jump right into their pants, and that is fine. It's just not me.



As to whether that is the common experience, you'll get no arguments from me. I am one of the strangest oddballs you'll ever come across, I'm sure.

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#163 Old 01-07-2010, 01:56 AM
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If your vain enough to join a website for "beautiful people" (and stupid enough to think they're going to find a worth while relationship with someone who's idea of a good partner clearly rests on physical attraction and a very narrow idea of beauty) and it kicks you off for putting on weight or getting ugly well that's fair enough as far as I can see.



The websites very clear about it's philosophy, and these are probally people who've kicked off other women and men for being too fat or too ugly (soon as there is a peer-rating system for getting in), so I don't think they deserve any sympathy.
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#164 Old 01-07-2010, 02:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post

Well, I can't speak for anyone else but looks really aren't that important to me, so what can I say? I AM being honest.



Maybe you got the impression that saying looks don't matter that much is the same as saying looks don't matter at all? If someone has an amazing personality but they smell bad and have dandruff and bad breath and warts or something then no of course I won't feel sexually attracted to them, but that's a pretty extreme example just to make a point here.



I just find it strange people will say looks dont matter that much (which you are saying looks do actually matter) but wont comment that other things dont matter that much.

It just comes across as dishonest. Looks do matter to me, but that doesnt mean that person has to have "cover girl" looks.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

If physical attractiveness exists, it's reasonable to assume that lack of physical attractiveness also exists. And what is considered ugly to one person could easily be beautiful to another. Like I said before, it's a highly individual assessment. Someone else might have found the woman I saw at the gym and thought of as homely beautiful because she was in such great physical shape. I'm not saying that's an untrue assessment of her looks either. Two people can look at the same person and come away with completely different ideas of their physical attractiveness.



So why even bother bringing the ugly women up? What was the point?

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Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

And really, as a hetero male I don't really find most men physically attractive. Does that mean I think men in general are ugly?



Hmm, attractive? I can see men and think theyre good looking, but im not attracted to them.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

I agree with you, physical attractiveness and beauty are definitely two separate things.



I have seen several men who I would consider "ugly" in the face that I found physically attractive for other reasons (like being in great shape, or being...er...gifted).



Doesnt that come in the firefly (sorry firefly) shallow category?
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#165 Old 01-07-2010, 05:23 AM
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Sometimes down and dirty ugly guys are kind of hot... like Lemmy.
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#166 Old 01-07-2010, 05:48 PM
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Well I'm relieved that person isn't really like that, she looks on the verge of crumbling into dust.



But still, gross, she looks so sick and wrong that it almost makes it more bizarre that the photo was intentionally manipulated for that effect. Grossing people out is a terrible way to convince them to buy your clothes.



That model was later fired for being too fat.



http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle...g_too_fat.html
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#167 Old 01-07-2010, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by stanie View Post

I just find it strange people will say looks dont matter that much (which you are saying looks do actually matter) but wont comment that other things dont matter that much.

It just comes across as dishonest. Looks do matter to me, but that doesnt mean that person has to have "cover girl" looks.



Wait, I'm confused. Did anyone here actually say that looks didn't matter to them at all? I've been reading through the posts and I haven't found a single person who has said that.



I'm one of the people who said looks don't matter that much because I meant it, there's a difference between looks not mattering 'that much' and 'not at all'



My whole post was about how personality and charisma are so much more important to me than just physical appearance so I'm pretty confused by the way you interpreted what I said.

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#168 Old 01-07-2010, 07:48 PM
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That model was later fired for being too fat.



http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle...g_too_fat.html



5'10 and 120 pounds huh? Yeah I can totally see why they fired her, what a fatty.

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#169 Old 01-07-2010, 08:36 PM
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I just find it strange people will say looks dont matter that much (which you are saying looks do actually matter) but wont comment that other things dont matter that much.

Looks don't matter to me when I care about people, and looks aren't what make me care about people. I mean, for the people who say it is important to them, what if your hot husband or wife gets half their face burned off in a car accident? Will you stop loving them? I hope not, because of all the things that make someone worth loving, what they look like should be on the bottom of the list. If it even makes the list at all. Still, there are plenty of marriages that break up because one spouse got "too fat", the wife loses a breast to cancer, the husband becomes paraplegic, etc. I guess that's when you find out you never had a relationship to begin with. At least, not one based on anything truly meaningful.

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#170 Old 01-07-2010, 10:02 PM
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Sometimes down and dirty ugly guys are kind of hot... like Lemmy.



he he, you sicko



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Looks don't matter to me when I care about p

eople, and looks aren't what make me care about people. I mean, for the people who say it is important to them, what if your hot husband or wife gets half their face burned off in a car accident? Will you stop loving them? I hope not, because of all the things that make someone worth loving, what they look like should be on the bottom of the list. If it even makes the list at all. Still, there are plenty of marriages that break up because one spouse got "too fat", the wife loses a breast to cancer, the husband becomes paraplegic, etc. I guess that's when you find out you never had a relationship to begin with. At least, not one based on anything truly meaningful.



yeah, too right.
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#171 Old 01-09-2010, 06:27 AM
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I don't get it, why would 5000 people post new pictures of themselves where they don't meet the website's standards? They've already got in, why post something that's going to get them rejected? FIVE THOUSAND people made this mistake in a month? What the hell?

This.



I also wonder how much people need to "let themselves go" to gain so much weight over a short period of time that it morphs them from "hot and thin" to "fat and ugly". I put on weight quite easily but even if I would stuff myself without end during two weeks (i. e. X-mas and New Year and maybe already a few days before) I wouldn't be able to gain so much that you could see it on a picture.
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#172 Old 01-09-2010, 07:39 AM
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Originally Posted by IrieMama View Post

When looking for a 'mate' they have to have a good personality and be attractive to my standards. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow

I don't think it's shallow wanting to have a mate that you find attractive.



---



However, I personally think it's quite naive to assume that all people are attracted to the same physique or personality traits. That is why I think this "overweight/obese people aren't attractive per se"-dribble is completely wrong. Different people think of different attributes as attractive, even though a lot of people don't seem to be able to imagine that.
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#173 Old 01-09-2010, 07:44 AM
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Just because looks are important to you doesn't mean they're important to everyone. You shouldn't assume people are being dishonest just because they disagree with you.

This.



I think what makes it so hard to accept the "I don't care much about looks" statement is that we're living in a culture that focusses on physical appearance. To some people it seems to be kind of unbelievable that one can think of someone as attractive who doesn't meet society's current standard of beauty.
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