Overweight people removed from dating website [potentially TRIGGERING] - Page 5 - VeggieBoards
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#121 Old 01-06-2010, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

Nothing. It's just hilarious that you actually think THOSE things are the most important things.



They can easily describe drug lords or child trafficking kingpins. Why? Because they MEAN NOTHING.



The important things are issues of emotional/ethical/intellectual compatibility. If you're lucky enough to find dozens of people who are compatible with you on those levels? Sure, go ahead and jump to a secondary list including such things like "And she drives a nice car." But happiness won't be found if you think those superficial things are the primary components of happiness.



I dont think he did say those are the most important things, theyre just important to him, along with being vegan. See quote below.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Firefly by 3 View Post




People who say that looks are not important are faking. .

I agree, people arent being honest.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Firefly by 3 View Post

People are not friendly to newbies here, it seems. I was merely saying what most people think.



That is correct, especially if youre not saying the "right" things.



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Originally Posted by veggiemeggie View Post

Given that most people seem to disagree with you in this thread, I don't really think you're saying what most people think.

What people say and think isnt necessarily the same thing



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Originally Posted by Alicia Avocado View Post

Why is it I'm always suspicious of people who don't have avatars? Oh right....African Prince...StillIRise.....Angelus....etc.



Not everybody feels that insecure and the need to give themselves some kind of identity.
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#122 Old 01-06-2010, 11:57 AM
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And who the **** is "icepick"?

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#123 Old 01-06-2010, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by suchgreatheight View Post

Firefly is being seriously creepy in this thread...but who you date, for a lot of people if not most people, isn't all about looks by any means, but being physically attracted to someone may represent a baseline, prerequisite standard, to consider someone.

Not for me. I can't even begin to feel a physical attraction for someone I haven't formed an emotional and intellectual bond with.



Quote:
Originally Posted by stanie View Post

I agree, people arent being honest.

I am. Looks mean very little to me. There are so few decent people in the world, with whom I share my most important values, that I can't afford to go around rejecting people based on their appearances, which are beyond their control anyway.

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#124 Old 01-06-2010, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by stanie View Post


That is correct, especially if youre not saying the "right" things.

Sometimes it's because the newbie doesn't agree with the majority view. Other times it's because the newbie spouts some exceptionally moronic crap that is embarrassing to read.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#125 Old 01-06-2010, 12:05 PM
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I am. Looks mean very little to me. There are so few decent people in the world, with whom I share my most important values, that I can't afford to go around rejecting people based on their appearances, which are beyond their control anyway.



^ Ditto. I can acknowledge when someone's looks are less than spectacular, but as far as choosing a mate or a friend goes, it is very, very low on the priority list for me. I have beautiful friends and not-so-beautiful friends, fat friends and skinny friends. It's all good!
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#126 Old 01-06-2010, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by SomebodyElse View Post






I am. Looks mean very little to me. There are so few decent people in the world, with whom I share my most important values, that I can't afford to go around rejecting people based on their appearances, which are beyond their control anyway.



Looks mean very little to you, or nothing to you?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

^ Ditto. I can acknowledge when someone's looks are less than spectacular, but as far as choosing a mate or a friend goes, it is very, very low on the priority list for me. I have beautiful friends and not-so-beautiful friends, fat friends and skinny friends. It's all good!



Its amazing tho how you made a deal out of the "ugly" woman at the gym.
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#127 Old 01-06-2010, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by stanie View Post

Looks mean very little to you, or nothing to you?

They are vital for purposes of recognition!

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#128 Old 01-06-2010, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by stanie View Post

Looks mean very little to you, or nothing to you?

Its amazing tho how you made a deal out of the "ugly" woman at the gym.



Apparently you didn't read what I wrote very well:



Quote:
Ditto. I can acknowledge when someone's looks are less than spectacular, but as far as choosing a mate or a friend goes, it is very, very low on the priority list for me. I have beautiful friends and not-so-beautiful friends, fat friends and skinny friends. It's all good!



I have aesthetic standards, the same as most people, when it comes to physical attractiveness. They're just not a huge deciding factor in who I decide to associate with.
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#129 Old 01-06-2010, 12:20 PM
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#130 Old 01-06-2010, 12:23 PM
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Originally Posted by SomebodyElse View Post

Not for me. I can't even begin to feel a physical attraction for someone I haven't formed an emotional and intellectual bond with.





I am. Looks mean very little to me. There are so few decent people in the world, with whom I share my most important values, that I can't afford to go around rejecting people based on their appearances, which are beyond their control anyway.



I just found it amusing how you brought up the ugly woman at the gym with no real reason to.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

Apparently you didn't read what I wrote very well:







I have aesthetic standards, the same as most people, when it comes to physical attractiveness. They're just not a huge deciding factor in who I decide to associate with.

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#131 Old 01-06-2010, 12:26 PM
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I just found it amusing how you brought up the ugly woman at the gym with no real reason to.



You're easily amused.



My reason was to state my opinion in agreement with Firefly - fat does not necessarily make one ugly, nor does being skinny necessarily make one attractive. There are good-looking chubby people and ugly skinny people. All physical attractiveness is a matter of individual perception.



I also said it was a petty thing for me to think as well.
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#132 Old 01-06-2010, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

And who the **** is "icepick"?



He's a nice guy.



--Fromper

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#133 Old 01-06-2010, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by stanie View Post

Looks mean very little to you, or nothing to you?

I should probably add that in contrast to Firefly by 3, I feel that I am a very ugly person, and therefore can hardly expect physical perfection in others. You just learn to value other things in people besides their looks, like their compassion and intelligence. Even Scarlett Johansson isn't gonna look too good at 85. Hopefully she will have more to offer her lifetime companion than her looks, at that point. Hopefully she will have a lifetime companion who values more than her looks, too.

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#134 Old 01-06-2010, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by SomebodyElse View Post

I should probably add that in contrast to Firefly by 3, I feel that I am a very ugly person, and therefore can hardly expect physical perfection in others. You just learn to value other things in people besides their looks, like their compassion and intelligence. Even Scarlett Johansson isn't gonna look too good at 85. Hopefully she will have more to offer her lifetime companion than her looks, at that point. Hopefully she will have a lifetime companion who values more than her looks, too.



I don't think I'm ugly per se, but I'm no a beauty pageant queen either, and I'm perfectly happy to admit it. Some people will say that's being self-deprecating (my mother for one) but I think it's just honest.







Gots the Adrien Brody nose... Hopefully if I ever become famous, it'll make for a good caricature at least.
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#135 Old 01-06-2010, 12:43 PM
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I love noses
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#136 Old 01-06-2010, 12:55 PM
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Friends wise, i'm not going to not be friends with you just because your fugly. With friends, you have to have a good personality. When looking for a 'mate' they have to have a good personality and be attractive to my standards. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow but when dating your thinking about spending the rest of your life with this person. I don't want to wake up to a toothless person for the rest of my life. My hubby is VERY handsome, and he makes me laugh. But my friends come in all shapes and size.
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#137 Old 01-06-2010, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by yally View Post

I love noses



Yeah, I hated mine when I was younger and thought it was horribly ugly, but now that I've gotten older I sort of like it. My roommate says he is also a "nose guy"...lol...



I think Adrien Brody is hot, personally. I must have a touch of it myself.
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#138 Old 01-06-2010, 01:08 PM
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Yeah, I hated mine when I was younger and thought it was horribly ugly, but now that I've gotten older I sort of like it. My roommate says he is also a "nose guy"...lol...



I think Adrien Brody is hot, personally. I must have a touch of it myself.



He is hot so much charm in a quirky nose.



I'm always surprised by the guys I'm attracted to, it's rarely to do with their looks (unless looks are all I have to go on). People I would find ugly in the street become irresistible on getting to know them.
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#139 Old 01-06-2010, 01:18 PM
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Hey, sorry I created this thread and didn't come back to input my opinion. I merely posted this because of today's society saying "big is beautiful" etc., and then this website comes along and reinforces the "fat people are ugly idea.

Also, I realised that the title could be triggering just after I posted it.

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#140 Old 01-06-2010, 01:19 PM
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I'm always surprised by the guys I'm attracted to, it's rarely to do with their looks (unless looks are all I have to go on). People I would find ugly in the street become irresistible on getting to know them.



I'm like this too - I might think of someone as ugly in passing, but once I get to know them, if they have a great personality, I find that to be intensely attractive, no matter what they look like.



And (this is just a blatant generalization) most of the "uglier" people I've known have had awesome personalities and very interesting lives. I'm convinced people who are less than gorgeous are more likely to develop other deeper aspects of themselves, rather than focusing primarily on their looks. If you are so beautiful you have people falling over themselves to give you what you want, you really don't have to try that hard, and some pretty people just don't bother.



Not to say that beautiful people necessarily have bad personalities though either - I've known some stunners that were totally the whole package. These were typically people who are very good-looking but go around as if they don't know it and don't care.



That kind of careless self-confidence is way sexy, in beautiful and homely people.
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#141 Old 01-06-2010, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by IrieMama View Post

Friends wise, i'm not going to not be friends with you just because your fugly. With friends, you have to have a good personality. When looking for a 'mate' they have to have a good personality and be attractive to my standards. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow but when dating your thinking about spending the rest of your life with this person. I don't want to wake up to a toothless person for the rest of my life. My hubby is VERY handsome, and he makes me laugh. But my friends come in all shapes and size.



Thats not shallow, youre being honest, and wish more people here would be.
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#142 Old 01-06-2010, 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted by stanie View Post

Thats not shallow, youre being honest, and wish more people here would be.



Just because looks are important to you doesn't mean they're important to everyone. You shouldn't assume people are being dishonest just because they disagree with you.
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#143 Old 01-06-2010, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by SomebodyElse View Post

Not for me. I can't even begin to feel a physical attraction for someone I haven't formed an emotional and intellectual bond with.



Seriously? You have never even begun to find any film actors or male models sexually appealing? At all? I don't think this is the common experience.
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#144 Old 01-06-2010, 01:31 PM
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Just because looks are important to you doesn't mean they're important to everyone. You shouldn't assume people are being dishonest just because they disagree with you.



People are being dishonest, and youre a great example! You keep talking about "ugly" people, but then try to claim appearance doesnt matter.

In my every day life i dont see "ugly" people, i just see people.
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#145 Old 01-06-2010, 01:34 PM
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People are being dishonest, and youre a great example! You keep talking about "ugly" people, but then try to claim appearance doesnt matter.



Physical attractiveness doesn't matter for much, but it certainly does exist whether you're willing to admit it or not.



Quote:
In my every day life i dont see "ugly" people, i just see people.



Unless they disagree with you, and then you see a target.
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#146 Old 01-06-2010, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

whether you're willing to admit it or not.

That sounds like the same kind of projection that stanie is doing (i.e. "if you say you don't think/feel like X, then you're dishonest").

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#147 Old 01-06-2010, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

Physical attractiveness doesn't matter for much, but it certainly does exist whether you're willing to admit it or not.

If it doesnt matter for much, why do you keep bringing up the ugly people situations?





Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post


Unless they disagree with you, and then you see a target.



This what you were supposed to be replying to; In my every day life i dont see "ugly" people, i just see people.
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#148 Old 01-06-2010, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

That sounds like the same kind of projection that stanie is doing (i.e. "if you say you don't think/feel like X, then you're dishonest").



You're right - it's entirely possible Stanie doesn't have any sense of physical attraction whatsoever. He just doesn't believe anybody else could possibly think like that - also entirely possible, but highly unlikely.
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#149 Old 01-06-2010, 02:29 PM
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I don't see anything wrong with this. Just like I don't see anything wrong with kicking some guy off a vegetarian dating site for eating flesh again. The same with race and sexual orientation. I'm straight and I wouldn't blame someone for kicking me off a gay dating site. The same holds true for religious dating sites and all that. I wouldn't want anyone personally from that dating site in question just because I like people that see past looks. But that's just me. If Mr. and Mrs. perfect want to get together, what do I care?
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#150 Old 01-06-2010, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stanie View Post

Thats not shallow, youre being honest, and wish more people here would be.



Well, I can't speak for anyone else but looks really aren't that important to me, so what can I say? I AM being honest.



Maybe you got the impression that saying looks don't matter that much is the same as saying looks don't matter at all? If someone has an amazing personality but they smell bad and have dandruff and bad breath and warts or something then no of course I won't feel sexually attracted to them, but that's a pretty extreme example just to make a point here.



I've always found that personality and charisma are what make a person hot and not just their outer shell, there are a lot of celebrities who might be considered conventionally ugly if you just saw them on the street but when you see them performing and full of energy and confidence they become the sexiest person alive to me. (David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Marilyn Manson, and yes Adrian Brody!)



And it works the other way too, I've dated some men that I found extremely physically attractive at first, conventionally handsome and in good shape and all that, but then they turned out to be giant *******s and once I discovered how ugly and petty they were on the inside all sexual attraction just withered away like a deflating balloon, I wouldn't have touched them with a ten foot pole if they had begged me.



I remember when Dave Navarro got his reality show with Carmen Elektra, I had always thought he was incredibly sexy when I just saw him onstage with his black nail polish and eye liner, but then I saw who he was as a person and he wasn't hot and mysterious at all! He came off as this whiney self obsessed fashion whore who was more concerned about choosing a shirt that shows off his pecs than making good music, now every time I see him I feel no attraction, I just hate him and his stupid little goatee and think he looks like a jerk.



No one is saying that looks are totally irrelevant, of course we all have eyes and libidios, I'm just saying that it's not the most important thing at ALL nor should it be. For me it's all about the personality and charisma, THAT'S sexy.

"If we could live happy and healthy lives without harming others... why wouldn't we?" - Edgars Mission
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