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-   -   What do you do to keep a positive attitude? (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/16-veggie-patch/99923-what-do-you-do-keep-positive-attitude.html)

Chrysalis 07-09-2009 10:10 AM

What sort of things do you do to keep a positive attitude even when you have negative people in your life?



There is someone in my life who is quite negative but I do have to talk to her on a regular basis. I can feel her negative attitude rubbing off onto me and I don't like it. So far I have been avoiding talking to her if I can, spending more time with positive-minded friends and telling myself that I can't let myself turn into her. Past that, I'm not sure what to do. I struggle with depression already, so it's not that easy to just ignore someone else's bad attitude. It is really, really getting to me. And I can't change her.



I want to feel happy and see the good in everything instead of the bad. I was thinking of making myself a collage of motivational words and pictures. I think that might help. Is there anything else that might help?



What do you do to try and keep your spirits up?

Alicia Avocado 07-09-2009 10:10 AM

I take Effexor-XR every morning.

Sevenseas 07-09-2009 10:11 AM

I throw hot onion soup on people's faces.

karenlovessnow 07-09-2009 11:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alicia Avocado View Post

I take Effexor-XR every morning.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

I throw hot onion soup on people's faces.



lol to both suggestions.



But on a serious note, I am in contact with a similar type person on a daily basis at work. It's not so much the negativity, but the constant drama...as if this person isn't happy unless something dramatic is going on in his/her life.

I don't think there is a magic solution. For me, it's going to work every day, telling myself I am not going to let this person drag me down with him/her. Sometimes it works...other times not. A lot of it depends on my situation at any given time. If I'm having 'issues' and I'm trying to keep positive by not dumping on my co-workers, it's a little more difficult to keep upbeat if this person is on a roll.

Anyway, I think anything you try is worth a shot. Your desire to want to avoid the negativity is half the battle.

synergy 07-09-2009 11:11 AM

I find my day goes much better if I start it by spending a bit of time meditating, clearing my chakras and shielding myself (just imagining a white light around me). It's even better when I stretch a little too.



Then when I am faced with negativity, I have the strength to keep it from seeping into my own being. I can just compassionately understand that this person's negativity stems from their own pain and suffering and that it is not my stuff and I don't have to take any of it on.



The collage is a good idea. I try to have reminders like that around me. They can really help. Inspirational quotes can lift my spirits pretty quickly.

paisleyjane 07-09-2009 11:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by synergy View Post

I find my day goes much better if I start it by spending a bit of time meditating, clearing my chakras and shielding myself (just imagining a white light around me). It's even better when I stretch a little too.



Then when I am faced with negativity, I have the strength to keep it from seeping into my own being. I can just compassionately understand that this person's negativity stems from their own pain and suffering and that it is not my stuff and I don't have to take any of it on.



This is exactly what I would have said, nearly word for word.

VeganTigress 07-09-2009 11:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by synergy View Post

I find my day goes much better if I start it by spending a bit of time meditating, clearing my chakras and shielding myself (just imagining a white light around me). It's even better when I stretch a little too.



Then when I am faced with negativity, I have the strength to keep it from seeping into my own being. I can just compassionately understand that this person's negativity stems from their own pain and suffering and that it is not my stuff and I don't have to take any of it on.



The collage is a good idea. I try to have reminders like that around me. They can really help. Inspirational quotes can lift my spirits pretty quickly.



Agreed, you can not change people who choose negativity but you can choose how much tiem you spend with them.



My favorite saying is " your opinion of me is none of my business". People can think what they wish, and usually do. All i can do is be the best person I can be.

Poppy 07-09-2009 12:00 PM

i vent on VB.



And I also exercise nearly every day. It clears my head. (And while I'm jogging I can replay my frustrations in my head, and then respond with the witty and sarcastic biting remarks I wish I had come up with at the moment! )

Sophia_ 07-09-2009 02:29 PM

For me there a few things that keep me positive:



- be around optimistic people (it makes wonders... it's the best tip ever I can give you)

- thinking that everything good that I reached was/is mostly when I was/am positive: pessimism attracts bad things and optimism makes us pro-active to reach good things

- being a volunteer (currently I'm a volunteer in a retirement home, and I was also a volunteer in other places with children, poor people, etc. I go there every Fridays, I talk to people, I see their smiles for having someone who cares without anything material in return and I feel really well, happy and useful)

- exercise (my reasons are similiar to Poppy ones)

GhostUser 07-10-2009 05:12 PM

Meditation Twice a Day...Yoga...and Laughing...I Used to be soooo serious all the time....not sooo much anymore...practically everything is funny

synergy 07-10-2009 05:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenni-anti-fur View Post

Meditation Twice a Day...Yoga...and Laughing...I Used to be soooo serious all the time....not sooo much anymore...practically everything is funny



Hahahah... Yeah, not taking life too seriously definitely helps.

My motto: If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong!

froggythefrog 07-10-2009 06:30 PM

We're supposed to keep a positive attitude? (Actually, I've discovered that I often expect it of others! )

rosiem 07-11-2009 03:26 PM

Bike to the petting zoo and hang out with Sweetie the potbellied pig. Guaranteed to put a big smile on my face.

MZCsmpsns 07-11-2009 03:43 PM

I spend time w/my pets... if I just watch them they end up doing something silly that puts a smile on my face. Sometimes I put on music and I'll sing and dance to my cats (don't worry, they're the only ones that see me!) I often throw in my Simpsons DVDs & watch those. I have a conversation w/my dad or my bro & they always make me laugh.



I've been around people who seem to always see and express the negative (I used to be that way) & I just think to myself "Wow, I'm glad I'm not like that" & enjoy the positive things in life. The negative is always going to be there no matter what, I'd rather focus my energy on the positive.

XvX 07-11-2009 06:28 PM

I don't.

synergy 07-12-2009 04:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XvX View Post

I don't.



If you're ever feeling up to it, give it a try sometime. It can change your whole life

Chrysalis 07-12-2009 06:34 PM

Thanks for the ideas! I have started writing in my journal again and it seems to help. I'll have to try some of these suggestions, too.

papayamon 07-13-2009 02:39 AM

i find that situations like that are best handled by refusing to give them energy/attention. happiness is often an internal proposition, with people about as happy as they've made their mind up to be.



so... the scowling, negative persona? has no effect on me or my success. otherwise i could never get anything done.

Jeffuary 07-13-2009 05:07 AM

I think about all the bad shit and how it really doesn't matter.



Simple as that.

rabid_child 07-13-2009 07:01 AM

I don't even bother trying.

GhostUser 07-13-2009 10:10 AM

^^^

well i was feeling a bit chirpy until i came in here :P

Bjarnstrom 10-13-2009 08:02 AM

Meditation

Yamato 10-13-2009 08:54 AM

Gradually get negative people out of my life.

dwnielsen 10-13-2009 11:18 AM

Perhaps I'm the negative person, because, besides my mother, I've never had them in my life. I'm grateful for most anyone in my life who enjoys communicating with me. Eating spicy food and hot, muddy tea helps. Thinking about the ways people show they care about me. Working on projects. Remembering how much I've accomplished. Remembering that I know what I want, and that there are opportunities out there somewhere for it. I guess it all becomes thinking about me, me, me.

Kellye 10-13-2009 11:27 AM

#1 I usually cut negative people out of my life to the fullest degree that I can - it doesn't matter whether they're friends, family, coworkers, whatever. I know it's impossible sometimes to get rid of them entirely (I am in a situation like yours where it is not an option) but a little cold shoulder goes a long way.



Also, every time your negative friend says something negative, just roll your eyes dramatically and say things like, "Gah, you're such a Debbie Downer!" or "Oooooookay, Negative Nancy!" or "Geez, drama queen much?" or even, "If you keep bringing your soul-suck to me, I'm going to have to start charging you for intensive therapy."



It's lighthearted and a little goofy, but it also draws attention to that person's negative behavior and brings their attention to it. They might not even realize they're being so obnoxious (or they might not care, in which case see #1).



As far as positivity goes, I enjoy yoga or other forms of a good stretch, losing myself in fiction, lots of exposure to the natural world, meditation, writing, and surrounding myself with people who are chipper and optimistic as an antidote.

major.walrus 10-14-2009 04:08 AM

I make a cup of tea.

peace 10-14-2009 06:20 AM

Imagine you control a real-life "ignore button" or "mute button." When the person starts bothering you, sing a silly, simple song in your head or focus intensely on something else (I will type this document, I will type this document) so you in effect block them out entirely.

Arthurian 10-14-2009 09:16 AM

I meditate, or I sleep.

GhostUser 10-18-2009 09:28 PM

[QUOTE=Starblossom]Thanks for the ideas! I have started writing in my journal again and it seems to help.



I Journal too....I have Journal-ed since I was in the 6th grade....I love to write short stories, poems, ect....put down on paper whatever I am feeling at the moment....Just Talking about Wrighting Makes Me

Purp 10-18-2009 09:31 PM

I go for long walks to get over the blues, which I get a lot of in autumn and winter.


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