Would you ever get a tattoo your mate thought was silly? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 05-10-2009, 07:03 AM
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So I've talked my husband into getting me a new tattoo for Mother's Day. I've actually decided to get two, one small plain text one and then the larger one I've been trying to plan for a few months now.



Anyways, I haven't really talked to him about the plain text one but I know him well enough to know he's going to think it's stupid. I just want the words, "Never forget their suffering" on the inside of my wrist. I know that if I get this I'll be getting lots of comments from him such as, "What if you ever decide to not be vegan?" and, "You're being an extremist."

I've been either vegetarian or vegan since age 11 (now 23) except for during my pregnancies-- and now I wish I had been during that time as well. I don't see this being a phase at this point, I mean if you take out the length of my pregnancies (10+10 months=20 months so a little less than two years) that puts me being on the animal rights train for about 10 years. I know that getting this as a tattoo is also going to have his parents and other family going on and on about how I'm being ridiculous and whatnot-- and generally speaking I hate confrontation.



The thing is though that I've wanted to get a tattoo similar to this since I was 19 and I really want it. Yes, I could get it somewhere in a more "hideaway" spot, but the point is for me to look at it every single day and especially being able to see it while doing things like eating.



So would you ever get a tattoo that your partner thought was silly/stupid if it meant a lot to you for you to get it? I know he's going to make comments about aspects of my larger piece as well, but since it won't be as visible it won't be as big of an issue with him/his family.



Thanks guys (and gals)
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#2 Old 05-10-2009, 07:21 AM
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I'm not into tattoos, so my response may not be totally relevant. But, no, I don't think I would have the guts to permanently alter my body with something my husband thought was "silly". And I think if I were going to do something permanent, I would want it to be a positive statement. I would want something I see all the time to encourage me, not bring me down - and the suffering statement would remind me of pain, not joy.

It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities. ~A. Dumbledore
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#3 Old 05-10-2009, 07:30 AM
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Yes.

I had been planning a tattoo ever since I returned from Africa and I knew what I wanted and where I wanted it. It took 2 years for me to plan it and in that time I met my boyfriend. So when I told him what I was getting done he thought it was too big, too permanent, etc. Well I got it anyways because it was something I REALLY wanted. After I got it done my boyfriend ended up loving it. It might be a big shock/change at first but in the end it becomes a part of you. If you really want it and it means a lot to you then I say go for it.
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#4 Old 05-10-2009, 07:31 AM
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Poppy: To me though, it's not something that brings me down but rather something that drives me. I think that's a reason that he thinks it's silly is that people can have such different interpretations of things even when it comes to just a few simple words. To you it's something depressing, to me it's something uplifting and that makes me want to continue on my path of working against animal suffering. Not to mention, how could a person ever put a hamburger in their mouth with that staring them in the face?



Meggz: I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend has opened his mind to it and now loves your tattoo. My husband generally loves tattoos on women, but I know that he would think it's stupid merely for the reason that he doesn't understand it. Kind of how there are so many people who don't like this or that, not because they don't actually like it-- but because they don't "get it"
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#5 Old 05-10-2009, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted by SheThrowsDown View Post

To me though, it's not something that brings me down but rather something that drives me. I think that's a reason that he thinks it's silly is that people can have such different interpretations of things even when it comes to just a few simple words. To you it's something depressing, to me it's something uplifting and that makes me want to continue on my path of working against animal suffering. Not to mention, how could a person ever put a hamburger in their mouth with that staring them in the face?





But you've said that this is a life-long commitment. You won't need a statement on your wrist to remind you not to eat a hamburger. The commitment is in your heart.



Just be 100% comfortable with your decision.

It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities. ~A. Dumbledore
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#6 Old 05-10-2009, 07:42 AM
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But you've said that this is a life-long commitment. You won't need a statement on your wrist to remind you not to eat a hamburger. The commitment is in your heart.



Just be 100% comfortable with your decision.

It is a lifelong commitment, but choosing a lifestyle doesn't mean that you will never have any temptation to fall out of it. I'm also a sincerely devoted Christian and know this is how I will be for all of eternity, but I've fallen away from the way of God and had to find my way back. I don't "need" the tattoo to remind me, I just have planned this for quite a while and feel it's what I would like to do.



I would be much more comfortable of it if my husband was more accepting, if he told me right now he wouldn't care I would literally leave right after church to go get it.
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#7 Old 05-10-2009, 07:45 AM
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Meggz: I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend has opened his mind to it and now loves your tattoo. My husband generally loves tattoos on women, but I know that he would think it's stupid merely for the reason that he doesn't understand it. Kind of how there are so many people who don't like this or that, not because they don't actually like it-- but because they don't "get it"[/QUOTE]





I feel that tattoos are so personal and that it shouldn't matter what other people think about them. I might be a bit biased because I have a tattoo on each wrist. Both of them face me so that I am the only person that can read them. They are both reminders of important things for me and I love them. Sometimes people ask me what the mean and i tell them and they either like it or they don't. But all that matters to me is that I like them and I can see them.



It may cause some issues at first with family because they don't get it but they will eventually just get used to it. And it will just give you a few more opportunities to tell people why you are so passionate about the cause!
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#8 Old 05-10-2009, 09:57 AM
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i don't think from what you said that he thinks its silly, more that he thinks it'll potentially cause you problems and upset in future- and its worth thinking long and hard about that, cos its a very expensive right pain in the arse getting those tattoos off again, and can leave you feeling really deflated and foolish.



you said you don't like confrontation- how are you gonna feel when the bajillionth person asks about it and then rolls their eyes at your answer? frustrated? undermined? embarressed? defeated? deflated? do you have a plan to handle this, are you conciously working on dealing better with confrontation?



what about your kids? how are you gonna explain it to them- how are they gonna feel holding mummys hand and then looking up and being told by her wrist to remember veal calves and battery hens? i'd guess maybe a bit sad. are you ok with that? is your man gonna find it hard to think of suffering every time he sees your wrist too? what if it screws up your intimacy or sex life?



what if something happens and you for whatever reason aren't able to be as veg*n as you want to, for some period- are you gonna have the problem of, and be able to handle feeling guilty and judged when you look at your wrist? are you gonna feel that way? are you gonna be able to handle other people feeling that way- both that you're judging them and their judging of you as a hypocrite?



i agree with poppy that something more positive might be something i'd personally prefer. also something less restrictive. i might go with something like 'remember', or 'think, feel, trust' instead. there are lots of other ways of conjuring the same passion on a personal level, that pique curiousity in others which leads to a productive discussion, but which also don't come with the same challenges, and negative conotations or implications both for yourself and for others.



at the bottom of it, its your arm. i'd do what i wanted with my arm, regardless of what my partner felt- and he'd accept that, regardless of how he felt about it, cos basically, its my arm, and i'm stubborn like that. but what you do does affect other people, and the whole relationship dynamic, so maybe some more discussion is in order- especially as your partner must be someone whose opinion you respect and feelings you care about, otherwise you'd probably not be with him.
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#9 Old 05-10-2009, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
'remember', or 'think, feel, trust' instead.

I want to reply to more of your post but am on a time constraint so I'll just respond to this part. I think this is actually a great idea! As long as it's in the basic jist of what I was wanting I'm still up for it.
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#10 Old 05-10-2009, 10:25 PM
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You could put "Remember the Alamoo", the extra "o" reminding you of the lowing of cows.

Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
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#11 Old 05-10-2009, 10:31 PM
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I'm not one to ever let what my mate thinks is silly stop me.



That's probably why I am mateless.

www.thesaucyvegan.com
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#12 Old 05-11-2009, 03:55 AM
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I'd have to know why he didn't like it. I wouldn't Not do something just because he didn't like it. But he's so supportive and wonderful that if he didn't want me to do something I'd listen just because he always has my best interest at heart. If he said not to do something I'd question myself and if it really is something good for me.



I have to agree that maybe you could find different wording or a symbol for your tat. It does seem focused on the negative and that's not what you're about. If you really want it though, it's your body and I'm a firm believer that no one can tell you what to do with that.
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#13 Old 05-11-2009, 04:59 AM
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I'd have to know why he didn't like it. I wouldn't Not do something just because he didn't like it. But he's so supportive and wonderful that if he didn't want me to do something I'd listen just because he always has my best interest at heart. If he said not to do something I'd question myself and if it really is something good for me.



I have to agree that maybe you could find different wording or a symbol for your tat. It does seem focused on the negative and that's not what you're about. If you really want it though, it's your body and I'm a firm believer that no one can tell you what to do with that.

He wouldn't like it because he would consider it extremist. Heck, he thinks going and leafleting is "extremist". He's supportive of some things (such as not really asking me to cook meat anymore and eating lots of vegan dinners), but then about certain things he says I'm "taking things too far". Heaven only knows what he would think if I introduced him to my friend Cutout. If anyone knows the story she legally changed her name to Cutout Dissection.com. I think it's great, but if he thinks I'm an extremist God only knows what he'll think of her! lol.





((PS - I did decide to change the wording. I think I'm just going to get "Remember" in a pretty font in the same space))
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#14 Old 05-11-2009, 02:08 PM
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I think you should go ahead and get the tattoo. It's your body, and you should be able to be yourself regardless of how ''extremist'' other people might think you are

It's not in what you say, it's in what you do (Oasis)

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#15 Old 05-11-2009, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Starblossom View Post

I think you should go ahead and get the tattoo. It's your body, and you should be able to be yourself regardless of how ''extremist'' other people might think you are



^^ This.
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#16 Old 05-11-2009, 02:45 PM
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I'm not one to ever let what my mate thinks is silly stop me.



That's probably why I am mateless.



Same here. On both counts.
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#17 Old 05-11-2009, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by SheThrowsDown View Post

He wouldn't like it because he would consider it extremist. Heck, he thinks going and leafleting is "extremist". He's supportive of some things (such as not really asking me to cook meat anymore and eating lots of vegan dinners), but then about certain things he says I'm "taking things too far". Heaven only knows what he would think if I introduced him to my friend Cutout. If anyone knows the story she legally changed her name to Cutout Dissection.com. I think it's great, but if he thinks I'm an extremist God only knows what he'll think of her! lol.





((PS - I did decide to change the wording. I think I'm just going to get "Remember" in a pretty font in the same space))



If he's just the type to go the negative route then I too would just do it. J would never tell me I was being extreme... unless I'm just being a brat and *****ing about something stupid. But that's just it, he is so rational and understanding at the same time that if he didn't like something it would be for good reason. If your husband is just like that then he'll just get over it and continue loving you in all your extremist glory It's obviously something he accepts even though he bucks it, ya know? And I have heard of Cutout. That's really cool that you know her.



BTW- I just figured out you're You a couple days ago. "Confusing name change FTW" is perfect for your caption
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#18 Old 05-11-2009, 04:27 PM
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You can always get it covered up with another tattoo, though I not assuming you would ever do so. I think you should go ahead and get any tattoo you'd love!
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#19 Old 05-11-2009, 06:24 PM
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Why don't you get "Never Forget" ... then you can finish the sentence in your head? Remember works, too... I just thought "Never Forget" would at least be a portion of your original idea.



I also agree with the others that you should just get whatever you want, and what means something to you -- regardless of if your spouse thinks it's "extreme".



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#20 Old 05-11-2009, 07:00 PM
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Mine would be too shocked over the fact that I'd be actually getting a tattoo to care if it was actually "silly" or not.
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#21 Old 05-11-2009, 08:40 PM
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My body, my decision. I would never let someone else decide for me what I can and can't do. I love and have a few tattoos.



The guy I've been seeing hates tattoos but hes an artist and is designing the vegan one I want to get. He thinks I'm extreme at times too but hes proud that I stick to what I believe in.

‎"One meal, soon forgotten, in exchange for a whole life." Author Unknown
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#22 Old 05-21-2009, 09:11 PM
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I really relate to your question. Not the husband part though It is definitely your decision. But, I would consider what hoodedclawjen said about other people asking you about it and you being non-confrontational. Personally, I wanted something inspirational on my wrist as well. I originally was going to get "ahimsa" since it directly relates to non-violence and veg*nism. When I was telling other people about my decision, I realized I did not like having to defend my ideas. That's not to say I don't enjoy talking about veganism, because I do, but I just changed my mind on it being so different. I thought about how every time I shook someone's hand I would have to explain it. So, what I have decided on (and I am getting tomorrow) is on one wrist "dream forever" and the other "live today". This is exactly what I wanted. It inspires me to keep dreaming about what I want to accomplish (AR and other) and to live each day fully. Because of this, I really like hoodedclawjen's idea of putting "remember" on your wrist. Then it can be very optimistic. Remembering your beliefs, goals, etc. And it is not so confrontational. It comes down to your choice. That is just my 2 cents.
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