I find that when I write things out, I can more easily let them go. But this time, I need a little bit more help...
Something happened this morning that has me mad and scared and feeling very very violated.
I went for a run early this morning at the crack of dawn (I usually wait until later, but I was feeling extra earnest today. I left at the same time my husband left for work and he's looking around saying, "It's dark out. You should wait til later."
But I was going to run at the harbor where many people exercise. And yes, there were a lot of people out, just like I said. I did have my ipod on, but at a low volume so that I could be aware of my surroundings.
When I was jogging by a man, he said, in a low, monotone voice,
I just kept going by and pretended not to hear him, but after a few paces, all these emotions popped up. I was mad, I felt violated, and I wanted to stick up for myself SO BAD! As I said before, there were people around, though kind of at a distance. He found a perfect opportunity there, as I happened to be the only one around at that very moment. I even was looking for a large tree branch or rock, so that I could go back and ask, "What did you say to me?" and imagined him sheepishly saying, "Nothing." To which I'd reply, "Yeah-- I thought so."
But I'm glad I didn't exchange any further energy with him!
But I couldn't even do my whole run. I felt like my power was taken from me by an energy-vampire-pervert. My legs felt wobbly, and although I ran on and attempted to look and feel strong, my breath was shallow and raspy. I was very conscious of telling myself, "Take your power back. Put it back where it belongs. You're ok. You're safe."
Anyways, I feel violated. It was a very weird feeling to be out in my neighborhood, near my home, doing something that I love, and feel unsafe, and preyed upon. When I got home, I immediately locked the door. It was just my instinct.
For those of you who have read this entire, long entry, thank you. As I said before, it helps me to write things out. But I decided to bring this here to the VB
community since so many are so supportive. Will I feel better tomorrow? Any exercises you've used to "harness your power and put it back where it belongs?"