As many of you know Hostess is infamous for using beef fat (shudder) in their products. I'm outraged that they have taken a perfectly good junk food, and tainted it with beef. So wrong.
Anyway, I was in a silly mood, so I came up with this blatantly sarcastic letter; I haven't decided on whether I should send it or not... But I'm really curious as to what sort of reply I would get, lol. ; )
Just thought I'd share it with you guys and get some feedback.
Well, the attachments don't appear to be working - : p
Here's the letter:
Dear Sir or Madam:
Hello, I just wanted to send you a little note to let you know how much I enjoy your WONDERFUL products! I have had Twinkies every day for breakfast for the last 12 years of my life, even though the doctor adivsed against it. He said if I keep it up, I won't reach my 35th birthday, but I'm not concerned! Your products are just too WONDERFUL not to eat for breakfast every morning! And I happen to believe that they are indeed part of a well-balanced breakfast. The cream is obviously a dairy product, which is chock full of wonderful CALCUIM, and we all know the actual cake itself is a grain, which is just jammed-packed with NUTRIENTS! Not too mention, the BEEF FAT! We all know that BEEF FAT is a wonderful source of protein, which you need, to LIVE.
As a matter of fact, my initial reason for writing you involves BEEF FAT. You guys really think outside the box, and I want to let you know how much I appreciate that! No vegetable oils in your products! Why use vegetable oils when you can use BEEF FAT? There's nothing like a snack cake that tastes like a piece of charred steak, that's what I always say! I love pouring A1 steak sauce on your products; it just brings out that WONDERFUL flavor; the flavor of the BEFF... and the FAT.
Though, I do have a suggestion for you fine folks at Hostess - I think you should more heavily promote the use of BEEF FAT in your products! I'll bet that most Americans are unaware that it's even included in your heavenly cakes. If people knew, I'm sure your sells would just SKY ROCKET. Concerned parents want to know that they're feeding their children the right foods. If mom finds out about the BEEF FAT in your products, of course this will encourage her to buy them, since everyone knows that children need the essential proteins that are only found in BEEF FAT. You may even want to introduce a little cow mascot to help promote the products - You could call her Mrs. BEEF FAT. She could tell the children all about the wonderful health benefits of BEEF FAT, and explain how HAPPY she is to give them her fat for their sweet little snack cakes.
So, what do you think? Good idea? I sure hope you'll take it into consideration! If not, no big deal. My life will continue to revolve around your products, until it's time to eat that big Twinkie in that sky.
Truly and utterly yours,