Top 8 Morons Of 2002 - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 02-03-2003, 04:18 PM
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I've read a couple of these before but I still get a chuckle out of them . . .



Subject: TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR



1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?



AT&T fired President John Walter

after nine months, saying he lacked Intellectual leadership. He received

a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking

intelligence.



2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California

spent two hours attempting to subdue a gun man, who had barricaded

himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers

discovered that the man

was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please ...

Comeout and give yourself up."



3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,

kidnapped a motorist and Forced him to drive to two different automated

teller machines, where the Kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from

his own bank accounts.



4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked

for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too

small, so he tied up the Store clerk and worked the counter himself for

three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.



5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery

suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When

detectives asked each man in the

lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the

man shouted, "That's not what I said!"



6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My

wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is

this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This

is her husband!".



7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven

Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch

without a weapon. King used a thumb and a Finger to simulate a gun, but

unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

(hellllllooooooo!)



8. AND THE GRAND FINALE................. Last summer, down on Lake

Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour East of Bakersfield,

California, some folks, new to boating, were having problems. No matter

how hard they tried, they couldn't get

their brand new 22 ft going properly. It was very sluggish in almost

every maneuver, no matter howmuch power was applied. After about an hour

of trying to make It go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking

someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough

topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The

engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, The prop was the

correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped Into the water

to check underneath, he came up choking on water, because he was

laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE! Under the boat, still

strapped securely in place, was the trailer .
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#2 Old 02-03-2003, 09:22 PM
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4 was the best very amusing..
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#3 Old 02-03-2003, 09:46 PM
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haha, i like 8. How the heck do u not realize that your trailer is still attached to your boat?!!? lol
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#4 Old 02-03-2003, 10:52 PM
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haha, these are funny!
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#5 Old 02-04-2003, 12:20 AM
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*laughs hard* I don't think I'll be zonking out until I stop laughing from these!

Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
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#6 Old 02-04-2003, 11:09 AM
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hehe i like #2

I'm singin' here to get rid of fear
Hope it disappears right here with the rain
But I know life is pain, not like a fairytale
Meaningless to pray, so just goin' on my way
~Miyavi "Torture"
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#7 Old 02-04-2003, 11:47 AM
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lol



I like #3. Now that's a man who needs to learn to plan ahead.
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#8 Old 02-04-2003, 01:48 PM
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#5 sounds like a stickler for exact honesty.

Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
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