Here is what my crazy cat would say, if he were able to talk. If he had opposable thumbs and the abilty to talk he would be dangerous!
1. I want CANNED cat food, PUH-lease? I don't wanna eat the stuff from the bag again.
2. I am SS kitty, I creep under the bed clothes I will now attack your feet.
3. Hey, it's 5AM, I'm gonna paw at your face until you wake up!
4. Whuuu? Who? What? Oh ****! There's a monster under the couch, I'm gonna lunge and attack it!
5. Oh, were you reading that newspaper? It looks so comfortable I think I'll camp my ass right here!
6. Oh look, Mom and dad are having guests, I think I'll stop in the middle of the living room and play the cello! Won't they be impressed
7. I wanna go outside, PULEASE? NOW! I don't care if you have to go to work, Let the CAT out, PUHLEASE?
8. My face is itchy, oh look the corner of the table I think I'll rub my face on it.
9. The bath towels are my enemy, I will attack and kill!
What do your pets say?