If your pets could talk, What would they say? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 07-16-2003, 11:52 AM
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Here is what my crazy cat would say, if he were able to talk. If he had opposable thumbs and the abilty to talk he would be dangerous!





1. I want CANNED cat food, PUH-lease? I don't wanna eat the stuff from the bag again.



2. I am SS kitty, I creep under the bed clothes I will now attack your feet.



3. Hey, it's 5AM, I'm gonna paw at your face until you wake up!



4. Whuuu? Who? What? Oh ****! There's a monster under the couch, I'm gonna lunge and attack it!



5. Oh, were you reading that newspaper? It looks so comfortable I think I'll camp my ass right here!



6. Oh look, Mom and dad are having guests, I think I'll stop in the middle of the living room and play the cello! Won't they be impressed



7. I wanna go outside, PULEASE? NOW! I don't care if you have to go to work, Let the CAT out, PUHLEASE?



8. My face is itchy, oh look the corner of the table I think I'll rub my face on it.



9. The bath towels are my enemy, I will attack and kill!





What do your pets say?
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#2 Old 07-16-2003, 11:55 AM
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I wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outside

I THINK THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL SHE EVER WANTS TO DO
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#3 Old 07-16-2003, 12:09 PM
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Can't you see it's nap time?
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#4 Old 07-16-2003, 12:48 PM
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1) Talk to me...pay attention to me....HEY YOU!!! (all while pawing my leg and howling)

2) Time to eat...Time to EAT....TIME TO EAT!!!!

3) Mmmm, yummy, paper towels

4) I'm mad at you (while staring me in the face and peeing on the carpet, right after having been out to go to the bathroom)
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#5 Old 07-16-2003, 12:53 PM
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"Are you sleeping, mommy? Is it okay if I sleep directly on your spleen? I know I weigh twenty pounds, but you're a pretty comfortable pillow."

"Look at my butt!! Look, look!!"

"Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Daddy didn't feed me, I swear! Hungry!"
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#6 Old 07-16-2003, 12:55 PM
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My cat basically looks at me as if to say, "put it in writing man and I'll get back to you on that".
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#7 Old 07-16-2003, 01:08 PM
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From the dog: "Can I sniff your butt?", and "Do you have any treats for me?"



From the cats: "Oh, you are trying to type on the computer. Let me lie down on the keyboard and help."
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#8 Old 07-16-2003, 01:09 PM
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if my mom's dachshunds could talk they would be saying almost all day (starting just a couple minutes after breakfast ) ...



"is it supper time yet" ... LOL :-)
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#9 Old 07-16-2003, 01:11 PM
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The cats - (Buzz - my fat boy; Baby - the old ornery lady; Thea - the freak/brat):



Buzz - "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump."



Baby - "Look how cute I am! Hey, move over! *I* have seniority!"



Thea - "Weoweoweoweoweow! Feed me, Seymour! I will place my hairs EVERWHERE!"



The dog:



Filo - "Huh? Let's play let's play let's play let's play let's play! Huh? Oooh...cat butt!"
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#10 Old 07-16-2003, 01:58 PM
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My bird Screech would be saying "Pay attention to me!!! AHHHHH! I neeeeeed to be held!! MOm MoM MOM!!! Pick me up pick me up puhhleeease!!" Hence why his name is Screech.. I need to put earplugs on my shopping list while I'm thinking about that.



My cat Bubba would be saying "I'm just going to plop right here in the middle of whatever paperwork you're doing so you'll scratch the spot on my back I can't reach.. again. OOhhhhhh yeah.. good human.. that's a good human. Who's the man of this house? Oh yeah it's me! *smirk*"



My other cat Steak would be more like "ARggHH I can't believe you're picking me up!! I just got my beautiful fur the way I like it and now you're messing it up! *pout* I'm giving you the stare of death until you put me down.. Ahhhh no more kisses!! I know I'm cute but geez Mom!"
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#11 Old 07-16-2003, 03:04 PM
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"Feed me early and often." - Lucky
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#12 Old 07-16-2003, 03:16 PM
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My cat talking:



1) where are you going? 2) can I come with you

3) Feed me!!! 4) Please stop singing - it hurts my ears 5) pet me

6) pay attention to me 7) Can I go outside?? 8) Where are you??

9) Why aren't you paying attention to me??? 10) can I drink out of the toilet?? 11) Have you forgotten that I exist 12) You want to think about feeding me now
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#13 Old 07-16-2003, 03:58 PM
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email her snugglesthecat at hotmail.com
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#14 Old 07-16-2003, 04:17 PM
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I think my dog would say "*ahem* Hello old chum. I do so much miss you since you went away to school. I hope you come hither soon. It shall be a well pleasant time. Ta."



I haev an old british bulldog
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#15 Old 07-16-2003, 04:53 PM
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My cat: I know 15 years is darn old for a cat, but I wanna see you one more time before I die



somebody hug me I miss my cat



"tada tada tear drops"
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#16 Old 07-16-2003, 05:26 PM
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Aww.. it's ok freemouse.

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#17 Old 07-16-2003, 09:42 PM
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My animals DO talk.



Zenith: I want to go outside. NOW. I want food. Is there food in my bowl? Come with me just in case there's no food. There's food, you're free to go. OR, NO FOOD! Food, NOW! Hello. Hello. Me again. What? What do you want? Stupid human. Love you. Whoops, that just slipped out. Didn't mean it.



Hopper: Come here bird I want to EAT YOU! I'm STARVING! FEED NOW PLEASE! BIRD! BIRDIE! DIE! (Hopper is scary).



Mojo: Hello! Why do I have to sit? Why do I have to lie down? Fine *grumble* I'm doing it. See? Stop it. Mummy, Mummy, look at me! NOW! Come on, throw the ball! Throw it! You think I'm giving it back to you now? Naive human. Hang on, pay attention! Fine, have the ball then. Mummy, can I come up? Why not? Is that for me? Why not? Can I have it? Why not? When am I getting food? Why? Oh, look, BAD DOG MY TERRITORY GO AWAY! What? Oh, no need to get so worked up about it. BAD PERSON GET OFF MY GRASS! Khan, leave me alone! Khan, play with me. NOW! Khan, lie still and shut up while I clean your ears. Mummy, that's Daddy! Mummy, you're weird.



Khan: I love you. And you. And you. Go away Mojo. Pat me! Not her. Oh, I guess you're okay. I love you Mojo. Mummy! Love you mummy! Daddy's home. You still love me Mummy? More than Daddy? Hi Daddy. Mummy loves me. See? Oh, BAD DOG GO AWAY MY TERRITORY! MOJO SHUT UP! BAD HUMAN GET LOST! See, aren't I good Mummy? Food? Is that for me? You don't really mean it when you tell me to get out of the kitchen? You love me anyway. Kiss? Dinner? YAY! You love me.
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#18 Old 07-16-2003, 09:54 PM
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mine would say "i can do a sumber sault" in Ralph Wiggum's voice.

I'm singin' here to get rid of fear
Hope it disappears right here with the rain
But I know life is pain, not like a fairytale
Meaningless to pray, so just goin' on my way
~Miyavi "Torture"
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#19 Old 07-16-2003, 09:55 PM
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Quote:
Shewolf wrote:

My animals DO talk.

Thanks Shewolf...I was starting to think I was the only one
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#20 Old 07-16-2003, 10:03 PM
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Maybe we're just more in touch slynny...
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#21 Old 07-17-2003, 12:05 AM
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#22 Old 07-17-2003, 01:20 AM
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LOL, my BF thinks I'm wierd cuz I talk to my pets. Ella the 8mth old terrorist kitty's most popular sayings are as follows:

1. Must.... attack.... moving feet

2. Ohhhh mum's hair looks tasty, i'll eat it.

3. Food! Mum, give me food! Hello, still waiting on that food! I don't care if it's my fourth bowl, just feed me!

4. You don't really like this couch do you mum? *as she digs her claws in and scratches away*

5. *after hearing someone in he lobby* oh there's a visitor. Someone's coming to visit me. Everyone loves me.

6. I'm chasing the mouse. Killing the mouse. Here mum, throw it again.

7. Must.... destroy everything in mum's house, especially the toilet paper.



My bro's 18mth old boxer, Cooper would say:

1. Chicken? Is that chicken for me? Ok, how bout that steak? Food for me? I like food? Chicken? Yeah me, want food. Ewww yuk that was stinky potato skins but I ate them anyway. Can I have chicken now?



Our family dog Chewie, who lives @ my parents so I only see him bout once a fortnight.

1. Hi! I've missed you. How you been? Can I have a hug? I like hugs. Cooper, no, this is my hug. Yay hugs.
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#23 Old 07-17-2003, 04:22 AM
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"Hey, ass. Stop paying so much attention to the computer and play with me."
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#24 Old 07-17-2003, 04:23 AM
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I once read the funniest Far Side Comic. On the left side were several dogs barking at one another. On the other was a translation to English and each bubble said "Hi! hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!" I just about died. I think that would pretty much some up most dogs existences! They're just always so excited to see you!



My dog, Solomon, a Newfie, would probably continuously yawn and ask me to turn on the bathtub faucet (where he likes to get his drinks from).
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#25 Old 07-17-2003, 08:23 AM
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My dogs have such scope of expression I've realised...



I did forget about the cats and their "lemme out puhlease! PLEASE! PLLLLEASEEEEE!!!!" Because Jake is subjected to it not me... (refers to them bugging him of a morning to let them out of the bathroom while he's showering) (Yes, they sleep in the bathroom, it's the only way they'll survive me , it's a big bathroom full of stuff for them to play with/sleepon/in/etc).
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#26 Old 07-17-2003, 11:44 AM
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Boo would say, "Drop some food, I'll eat it, I promise!"

"Paper towels are sooooooooo good, can I please have some more?"

"I must groom you until you're perfect," while she licks away.

"Can I please lie on your lap and groom you some more?"

"He/she's wearing socks, must attack the feet!"

"I'm so excited to see you! See me jump! See me run! Did you bring any treats home for me?"
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#27 Old 07-17-2003, 12:05 PM
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Tyson would say "I ain't leaving your side for a stick how dumb do you think I am"

Jack would say "Nooooo I don't wanna exercise and why do I walk on 3 legs sometimes?"

Cinders would say "I ain't eating that food out of my bowl I can see the bottom of the bowl" "I will drink out of the shower, the sink, dirty dishes, fish tanks, bath tubs, toliets but I will not I repeat not drink water from my own bowl"

Tofu would say "Why did you name me after a food?"

Soy would say "Why did you name me after a type of food? I don't wanna be eaten"
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#28 Old 07-17-2003, 12:08 PM
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I don't know know but I would like to ask the house dog why it is I can't walk around the house nude without nearly engaging in beastialitity. It is bad enough that he licks and sucks and chews his own wang all the time...
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#29 Old 07-17-2003, 07:41 PM
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As annoying as my cat can be.. I wuv him to pieces!!!



"I know I can let myself out through the door that was installed for me. But I want YOU to get up and let me out... Then I'll come back inside an hour later, and ask to go outside AGAIN!!!"



"Gimmie food... I'm hungry! MY DISH IS ONLY HALF FULL!!! FILL IT UP! I can't finish it!"



"Ooh, you're doing homework, I see... Well, I'm sure you won't mind if I lay right on top of this.. yeah, that's nice."



"Haha... I know I scare you when I stealthily walk into the room, and rub my whiskers on your leg!! ESPECIALLY when my nose is wet! Why do you think I do it?"



"If you don't let me out, I swear I will chew these cords to your hairdryer... and the game controllers... MAYBE the tv!"



"OH SH*T! You're home? I wasn't across the street, I swear! I don't care what you saw... That wasn't me."
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#30 Old 07-17-2003, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by michael_veggie



Tofu would say "Why did you name me after a food?"

Soy would say "Why did you name me after a type of food? I don't wanna be eaten"



Not being named after food?! But aren't they fish!



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