What do you do (ex fiance problems, work problems, family problems) - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 09-26-2005, 09:56 PM
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What do you do when everything is falling apart no matter how hard you try to keep it together?

I am 22 and I have an 8 month old son (I posted pictures of him when he was born under my old user name qtrishy), I also cannot drive anywhere due to my healing cornea transplants. I've been dealing with this disease so long that I haven't even gotten my license yet.

I just moved out of my ex's place a month ago, we were trying to raise our son together; but he just wasnt helping and I was making enough money from my stay at home job to get my own place. Two weeks after I move in my boss goes postal (long story involving illegal activities on his part) and I have no more job. I've applied for every job, even ones I'm not completely qualified for just in hopes that someone will hire me. I have tried my hardest to make myself appealing and still be honest about my abilities, but I'm afraid I just lack in skills.

Its coming time for rent and my bank account just hit the negative I have eliminated all expenses that I can and I still just cant do it. Im hoping my apartment complex lets me put my rent on my AmEx so I have a couple of weeks to try and canvas more possibilities.

This past weekend more crap happened. My mom has a tendency to lie to get attention from my ex whom she has a crush on, this time it actually backfired and screwed me over. My ex wont speak to me, he wont pick up the phone or contact me in any way so I can prove (solid proof) that my Mom lied.

Right now I pretty much have no family, no job, no local friends, no local support of any kind, and I just hit the point where Im scared.

Ive been trying to apply for assistance to help me out and I want it to be short term, but Im even having problems getting to the office. I cant pay for cabs or any other mode of transportation.

I thought I had finally got my life to a point where it was going well. A good job, my own place, and I didnt have to worry about paying my bills. I was going to pay off my debts (not much, but I still hate the idea of owing someone money) and go to college finally. I was going to get my license when I got the okay from my surgeon.

Im lost. Im not normally this pathetic and whiny, Im just normally grouchy. This is the first time in my life that Ive been staring at a dead end.
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#2 Old 09-26-2005, 10:07 PM
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Reading your post has brought up memories of my own past.I still feel this way sometimes,life just never seems to go right for me.However,you will get through this!You are a mom and I'm sure will do whatever necessary to take of your child.That probably doesn't help much though.What area of the country do you live in?(are you even in America?)Where I live,there is an office (in the same place where you apply for food stamps here)that has computers and job listings not listed elsewhere.They also have a program specifically to help you get a job,or training to get a better job.They can help you write a better resume,and can sometimes even place you directly into a position.Call your Human Services Department,they can tell you what programs are offered.Have you filed for unemployment insurance?There are avenues that can help you but in my experience you really have to do your footwork to find them.As cheesy as it sounds my motto is "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."I tell myself that over and over when things are falling apart around me,and I find it's true no matter what hits me.
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#3 Old 09-27-2005, 10:13 AM
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Sorry to hear that.

For income, if you are in the US, you have a few possibilities.

First, your ex better be paying child support. That money won't really help you, but it will ensure that your baby has food.

Second, are you getting unemployment? If not, why? If your firing was unjust, you may also have a case against them.

Third, there are public programs for unemployed mothers with young children. I would investigate them. In the US, there is also a program called SSI which may be useful if you can claim disability due to your eyes. It sucks, since it sounds like you can technically work, but not being able to drive will limit your search area. Almost any public assistance program in the US is going to put you deeply into poverty, but its better than starving.

Also, a few job hunting recommendations: Gas stations. Hotels (housekeeping (sucks) or front desk). Fast food (sucks). Government jobs (dmv, post office, etc -- dunno the requirements for this, but HTH). And you can probably make a few bucks selling plasma if that's available locally. If you are desperate for money, almost any job is a good job.

I don't know what to do about your mom, its a hard situation. You probably love her, but it sounds like she screwed you and her grandchild over pretty badly. Perhaps its time to limit the amount of influence she has in your life. Its mean, and she probably will be offended, but your priority should be protecting your baby, not dealing with the fallout from your mother's scheming.

Hope it gets better.
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#4 Old 09-27-2005, 04:05 PM
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i hope things get better for you too.

also, if you call the office, a lot of things can be done online or over the phone (forms-wise) so you can do a lot from home.

good luck!
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