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-   -   Cuddling: How Much is Too Much? (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/16-veggie-patch/37735-cuddling-how-much-too-much.html)

rabid_child 08-08-2005 12:38 PM

I was talking to one of my friends from HS recently, who was extolling the virtues of his ex-gf, including the fact that she knew just how long to cuddle at night before getting the heck off of him and going to sleep. He said the limit, no matter what anyone says, is 15 minutes. Then go away.



I asked the guy I was dating, who said thats BS, as long as all parties involved are comfortable, its all good, with no time limit.



So what is your time limit on cuddles? Do you have one? Do specific conditions apply? Is there a difference between men and women when it comes to cuddle time limits?

froggythefrog 08-08-2005 12:44 PM

When all people involved want to cuddle, everything's fine. When someone does not want to cuddle anymore, they should be let go. It is afterall, a mutual activity is it not? The guy with the 15 minute time limit does not seem to grasp this concept.

Jinga 08-08-2005 12:46 PM

If its a 'we are both tired and want to go to sleep soon cuddle' then 15 minutes is a good amount. Its enough to get sleepy, but not so much where you get annoyed cause you just want to get to sleep already. If its a 'we are just cuddling to cuddle', there is no time limit

rabid_child 08-08-2005 12:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by froggythefrog View Post

When all people involved want to cuddle, everything's fine. When someone does not want to cuddle anymore, they should be let go. It is afterall, a mutual activity is it not? The guy with the 15 minute time limit does not seem to grasp this concept.



His position is that its burdensome to cuddle with someone for over 15 minutes, and anyone guy who is still cuddling after that time doesn't want to, is uncomfortable, but is afraid to say anything.

froggythefrog 08-08-2005 12:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

His position is that its burdensome to cuddle with someone for over 15 minutes, and anyone guy who is still cuddling after that time doesn't want to, is uncomfortable, but is afraid to say anything.



(*whispers*) Relationships don't work if people don't communicate.

rabid_child 08-08-2005 12:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by froggythefrog View Post

(*whispers*) Relationships don't work if people don't communicate.



Ha! You don't have to tell me that. I'll say pretty much whatever. I was just posing his argument. Though, look where it got him? Pining over this girl who knew to cuddle for just 15 minutes who dumped him 2+ yrs ago :P

borealis 08-08-2005 01:02 PM

I dated a guy who didn't even want to be touched while falling asleep or sleeping. It annoyed him and kept him awake. He wasn't a hugger, either. Just not physically very affectionate. But he was a good cook.

Walter 08-08-2005 01:04 PM

I just want to add that I love your poll options!

BVegan 08-08-2005 01:10 PM

Put me down for 5 minutes.

madder 08-08-2005 01:12 PM

As long as everyone's happy, it's all good



The longer the better, I say

mayuko 08-08-2005 01:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jinga View Post

If its a 'we are both tired and want to go to sleep soon cuddle' then 15 minutes is a good amount. Its enough to get sleepy, but not so much where you get annoyed cause you just want to get to sleep already. If its a 'we are just cuddling to cuddle', there is no time limit



yeah, that's about what i think too

thebelovedtree 08-08-2005 01:31 PM

my boyfriend and I are very cuddly people, we'll cuddle for hours, talk about how we should cuddle more on the phone, etc. He likes to cuddle even more than I do, so I'm pretty sure there isn't a 15 min limit.

vggiegirl 08-08-2005 01:34 PM

5 minutes here. I don't like touching for extended periods of time

eggplant 08-08-2005 01:35 PM

I'm usually the one who has to extract myself from my bf's embrace, but usually it's a heat issue. I love to cuddle, but he's like a fiery furnace, so I can only take so much. I've never actually timed our cuddling...

GhostUser 08-08-2005 01:50 PM

I've never really timed it, and it really just depends, so I said no limit.

GhostUser 08-08-2005 01:51 PM

never. ever. ever.

back. away. slowly. and. you. won't. get. hurt.

mayuko 08-08-2005 01:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shagginabit View Post

never. ever. ever.

back. away. slowly. and. you. won't. get. hurt.



does this mean you don't want to spoon?

Brandon 08-08-2005 02:17 PM

I'm pretty much in full agreement with Jinga and Mayu- not really any limit. I do agree with what Froggy said though, about either party feeling comfortable letting go if they want to. In general though, as the option states "bring on the love."

Tofu-N-Sprouts 08-08-2005 02:18 PM

(Laughing out loud at Shag's response...)



I can't imagine ever, ever, ever not wanting to cuddle, but do understand there are going to be different needs for each person...



However, I was in a previous relationship where the guy was the "5 Minutes, Then Go Away"-sort-of-person... He pretty much implied "all" guys were of the same opinion and there was something "wrong" with me for ever wanting to cuddle at all...



Probably one of the factors why the relationship eventually didn't work...I think it made it tough for us to try and be compatible in other areas 'cause we were SOOO different in this one...



Communucating about what each person wants and needs is definitely a good thing.

GhostUser 08-08-2005 02:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mayuko View Post

does this mean you don't want to spoon?



The only spooning I'm doing is me and my soy delicious cookie avalanche.

Blue Plastic Straw 08-08-2005 03:22 PM

I'm a No Time Limit kind of girl, but if the person I'm cuddling with wants to roll over and go to sleep I'm not going to be offended. I do like a little physical contact when sleeping with someone though, a hand on the hip or feet touching, something like that. I'm just a touchy feely person.

Dirty Martini 08-08-2005 05:54 PM

weird that someone would put a time limit on cuddling. I love to fall asleep cuddling but if my dh wants to stop before then, that's fine too (why are men such heat generators? man I hate not being able to snuggle in the summertime! )



i put no time limit -- sometimes i might want to cuddle for 30 seconds, sometimes cuddling on the couch for hours while doing a movie marathon is nice...

*Star*Lass* 08-08-2005 06:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by borealis View Post

I dated a guy who didn't even want to be touched while falling asleep or sleeping. It annoyed him and kept him awake.



I'm like that, i can't sleep while i'm cuddlin', and i prefer to face the other way to my boyfriend. I don't mind if he cuddles me then, so long as his head isn't resting on mine and i'm not too hot......... i duno, i just like my space When i stay with my boyfriend, we gradually move further and further over to my side of the bed. As i move away from him, he follows me! Last time he visited i fell out of the bed cos i was so near the edge I have to literally send him back over to his side or else, lol.



I am a hugger though ....... just not when i'm sleepin

pavlovskitty 08-08-2005 07:16 PM

It really depends on the partner. An ex I had a long time ago was an incredible cuddler. I could be next to him all night cuddling, and even when we rolled apart, we were somehow entwined. He was a skinnier guy. Now, with the bigger guys I've cuddled with, it doesn't last as long cause I start to sweat

Elena99 08-08-2005 07:47 PM

Ehh, 15 minute time limit? My husband didn't get that memo. Don't you love guys who think they speak for all men? Maybe I'll start speaking for all women. It'll be fun.



I'm for the "cuddle when you want to, don't when you don't want to" option.

crystalteacup 08-08-2005 10:55 PM

It really depends for me. Sometimes I just want to konk out, sometimes I want to talk and hug. If it's on the couch, we can do it for more than an hour.....hugging I mean

rainbow_clouds 08-08-2005 11:10 PM

I didnt see the "no limit" option when I voted.



I love cuddling, I'll do it for hours. I love it, and my boyfriend does to, so it's all good.

remilard 08-08-2005 11:21 PM

Where is the poll option for "e^(x/2) + 20" where x is the number of drinks I have had?

rainbow_clouds 08-08-2005 11:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by remilard View Post

Where is the poll option for "e^(x/2) + 20" where x is the number of drinks I have had?




mommyof1 08-08-2005 11:59 PM

I said No limit, because of who I ended up with. I think it really depends on what KIND of cuddler you are cuddling with. My ex was suffocating and clingy. (made me feel a little clostrophobic. My hubby on the other hand, is a mutual cuddler. I'm being cuddled WITH rather than cuddled AT.


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