Hey, I thought it would be cool to have a favorite quote or sayings thread (if there isn't one already...). I love hearing new ones and posting them around my room. i can't think of one right off...so ill post one later.

"Why don't you make like a siamese twin and split...



...and then die." -Peter (Family Guy).

I like my new sig. I got it from Exit (duh) last night.

anything from family guy or eddie izzard.



one from fg being:

meg: brian, you look great, have you lost weight? can you give me a hint?

brian: You want a hint? PUT DOWN THE FREAKIN' FORK! FACE!



and

brian: I loooooooooooooooove chocolate. but i cant eat it cuz then I'll get fat. but its SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.

Hum I have a few:



(From my best friend) "You're a balding baby of a man!!"



and:



"So while I was waitin' in the back during the opening act, I was readin' some magazines and I did a couple of quizzes, and the results are in. First off, you'll all be glad to know that I am NOT a jealous girlfriend. And second, I am in fact a strong independent black woman." ~John Mayer



"...and i hate using the word 'sensuality' 'cause you know, so many ugly people use that word." ~John Mayer



And the last one:

"Quiet down so I can make love to you all." ~John Mayer.



Hehehe

Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.

"At eighty, I think what I shall regret are the things I always wanted to do and never did; the experiences I denied myself because I was too concerned about others' opinions, or too anxious for their approval; but I think I would regret most a life wasted living as someone who was not me"



and ofcourse vvv

I like that one...do you know who it is from?



i found one i like here:



"Man is the only creature endowed with the power of laughter; is he not also the only one that deserves to be laughed at?"

Greville (1554-1628)

As I can't think of a decent quote at this moment, I would like to post a remarkable poem. You might know it already, it's not unfamous. The poem below is an English translation of a Dutch translation/adaption (by Godfried Bomans) of a German poem by Friedrich Torberg.



English

I am sitting in the window

feeling incredibly low

me being two dogs would be better

then I could play together



or:



I sit at home and I’m so bored -

it is such lousy weather.

I wish I were two little dogs

so I could play together.



Dutch

Ik zit mij voor het vensterglas

onnoemelijk te vervelen,

ik wou dat ik twee hondjes was,

dan kon ik samen spelen.



German

Ich Möchte alles, was ich fühl,

nicht fühlen

und ganz allein sein.

Nein, nicht ganz allein.

Ich Möchte gern zwei Hunde sein

und miteinander spielen.

"When I like people immensely I never tell their names to any one. It seems like surrendering a part of them."

\tOscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray)



"I tell you: one must have chaos in one, to give birth to a dancing star."

\tFriedrich Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Prologue 5)



"In the mountains, the shortest way is from peak to peak: but for that, you need long legs."

\tFriedrich Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra, I.vii, On Reading and Writing)



"But thus do I counsel you, my friends: distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful! They are people of bad race and lineage; out of their countenances peer the hangman and the sleuth-hound. Distrust all those who talk much of their justice! Verily, in their souls not only honey is lacking. And when they call themselves 'the godo and just', forget not, that for them to be Pharisees, nothing is lacking but power!"

\tFriedrich Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)

Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree.

"Searching for truth through words and speech is like sticking your head in a bowl of glue." Yuan Wu

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt". - attributed to Pres. George H.W. Bush.

"fighting for peace is like ****ing for virginity"

"At 16 you can drive, at 18 you can vote, at 21 you can drink, so at exactly what age can you fall in love?"

"You must do what you feel is right, of course." - Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

But originally who? Mark Twain?

"If you can think of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it." - bash.org, I believe

Abraham Lincoln

see teh sig

XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after like thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What-should-I-buyyy?"



The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, You'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're ****ing relentless.



I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.



Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.



I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a lady who would be really mad if she heard me say that.



I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.





All quotes from the late, awesome, Mitch Hedberg. I could go on and on....



They're funnier when he says them, though, because his delivery alone is hilarious.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.



In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.



The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.





Martin Luther King

Hah. I like this one.

Now I can look at you in peace; I don't eat you anymore.

--Franz Kafka



"Language is a virus...we must find out what the words are and how they function. They become images when written down, but images of word repeated in the mind and not of the image of the thing itself"

--William S. Burroughs

"In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the very long term, I know which will make better memories."

-Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

Ah another Mitch fan. Too bad he died reciently.



More good stuff from him:



"I was walking by a drycleaner at 3 AM and there was a sign that said, "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 AM and you're a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, "Hey, I was here at 3 AM and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!""



"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've travelled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so that it will not fall off the wall."



"Foosball ****ed up my perception of soccer. I thought you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a back flip, much less several...simultaneously with two other guys... that look exactly like me."



"On a traffic light, green means "go" and yellow means "yield," but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means "hold on," yellow means "go ahead," and red means "Where the **** did you get that banana?""



"What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance. What the **** is a sesame?! It's a street. It's a way to open ****."



"I was in downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck, and I knew the duck was lost, 'cause ducks ain't s'posed to be downtown. There's nothin' for 'em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop, I said, "Let me have a bun." But she wouldn't sell me just the bun, she said that I had to have something on it. She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So I said, "Alright, well, put some lettuce on it," which she did. She said, "That'll be $1.75." I said, "It's for a duck." And they said, "All right, well, that is free." See, I did not know that. Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. "Let me have the Steak Fajita Sub - but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!""

ahhhh i love mitch hedburg.



"Guns don't kill people, people do...and monkeys do too, IF they've got a gun. Without a gun, theyre pretty nice, but WITH a gun, they're pretty dangerous." -Eddie Izzard

"It's gon' rain!" - Black Weather Report on Family Guy



God, I could quote that show for days.

"I understand. I admire. You should go on with this part until it is played out, until it loses interest for you. Then you can leave it, just as you've left your other parts one by one." -Persona



"You know, its interesting you should say that, because I've always wanted a peg leg. It's a boyhood thing I never grew out of. I'm not being flippant, I've given this a lot of thought. I mean. if you have a peg leg or hooks for hands then maybe its enough to simply keep on living. You know, braving facing life with your disability. But without these things you're actually meant to make something of your life, achieve something earn a raise, wear a necktie. So if anything I'm actually the antithesis of Ahab, because if I did have a peg leg I'd quite possibly be more happy." -The X-Files



"An artist never sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist." -Picture of Dorian Gray

A similar quote is a lot older than either Bush or Lincoln. Proverbs 17:28 is "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."



---



See sig.



Also, on my recent backpacking excursion, one of my friends was clearly not enjoying the trip. Someone asked him if there were any reason he would go backpacking again. He shook his head, saying, "There is one reason, but I don't think I've met her yet."



And, at a township meeting last night to discuss a police levy, a resident said he didn't have enough money to pay for more protection. "My wife looked at me and asked, 'We have a new levy? When are you going to be able to fix the porch?'"