Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A: He's all right now.
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist
Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.
Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.
Q: What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: Their middle name.
Q: Why won't canniblas eat clowns?
A: They taste funny.
Q: Why do they put bells on cows?
A: Their horns don't work!
Q: What did the apple say to the orange?
A: Nothing, stupid! apples can't talk!
Q: What do you call a missing parrot?
A: A polygon
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Q: what do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A: Roamin' Catholic