Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,754
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I have to vent about something that really pissed me off today. It was 40 degrees Houston this morning. On my way to work, I passed a homeless man on the sidewalk wearing shorts, a tattered shirt, and flip flops asking for change. Some vile man walked past him and started screaming at him and told him to "get a job". In the past, I have uttered the same exact phrase to panhandlers. Get a job. I have a friend with a masters degree from Rice, and she's been unemployed for almost two years. She has a physical address, a lan line, a cell phone, a nice car, a complete wardrobe ect... and she can't find a job.
My heart broke for that man. It was so cold, and he was wearing shorts!
In the past, everyone that I had trusted had betrayed my trust, and this incudes family members. I had decided that in order to avoid being hurt, I just wouldn't feel anymore. My compassionate side was on ice.
Well, I guess it's coming back, because things like this are starting to hurt me deeply. I've prayed to God to give me compassion, and he answered that prayer.
I just can't believe that I used to walk around treating homeless people like dog crap on the bottom of my shoe. I'm bringing a blanket that I don't use anymore to work tomorrow and giving it to the first homeless person I see.
How the heck does that vile man expect that poor man to get a job?
I know I'm rambling, and maybe I'm not making much sense, but I had to get this out. My friends didn't seem interested in listening to me talk about this, so I'm telling you guys. Being compassionate hurts sometimes, but I would rather feel this than feel nothing at all.
Thanks for letting me *****. I feel better now.
My heart broke for that man. It was so cold, and he was wearing shorts!
In the past, everyone that I had trusted had betrayed my trust, and this incudes family members. I had decided that in order to avoid being hurt, I just wouldn't feel anymore. My compassionate side was on ice.
Well, I guess it's coming back, because things like this are starting to hurt me deeply. I've prayed to God to give me compassion, and he answered that prayer.
I just can't believe that I used to walk around treating homeless people like dog crap on the bottom of my shoe. I'm bringing a blanket that I don't use anymore to work tomorrow and giving it to the first homeless person I see.
How the heck does that vile man expect that poor man to get a job?
I know I'm rambling, and maybe I'm not making much sense, but I had to get this out. My friends didn't seem interested in listening to me talk about this, so I'm telling you guys. Being compassionate hurts sometimes, but I would rather feel this than feel nothing at all.
Thanks for letting me *****. I feel better now.
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Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Cat 
Good for you. You'll feel better.
When I used to work downtown, I always brought extra food and hand it out to people who asked for money. I'd tell them I didn't have money, but would they like a hardboiled egg, a carrot, and a juice box. I never had anyone turn me down for food, except those high on meth - and I know it was the meth talking, not them. Sometimes, I just left the food at their feet "in case you change your mind."
Good for you. You'll feel better.When I used to work downtown, I always brought extra food and hand it out to people who asked for money. I'd tell them I didn't have money, but would they like a hardboiled egg, a carrot, and a juice box. I never had anyone turn me down for food, except those high on meth - and I know it was the meth talking, not them. Sometimes, I just left the food at their feet "in case you change your mind."
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Sidenote:
A homeless guy asked me for money for a bus ticket one morning. I gave him money, something I didn't usually do to a stranger in the area; didn't know him well enough if he was a drug user. My heart said to give it to him.
I saw him a while later. In a suit that the Salvation Army gave him. He had gotten a job. He would not have gotten that job if I told him to buzz off and leave me alone.
A homeless guy asked me for money for a bus ticket one morning. I gave him money, something I didn't usually do to a stranger in the area; didn't know him well enough if he was a drug user. My heart said to give it to him.
I saw him a while later. In a suit that the Salvation Army gave him. He had gotten a job. He would not have gotten that job if I told him to buzz off and leave me alone.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 2,339
I feel so strongly for homeless people. A lot have mentall illnesses and where I live the public hospital system just lets them back out on the street because of the bed shortage. My mother worked at a refuge for homeless men and she used to come home almost in tears often. Once she had this young guy who was schitzophrenic come in - she tried for hours to find a bed for him in a hospital but no go. He was a lovely, intelligent young guy who liked playing guitar and had a really sweet voice. Groups of young street kids would hang around him on his pension day and follow him to the teller where they would 'borrow' all his money. Mum used to talk to him for ages. One night he had a psychotic episode and the local hospitals all refused to take him. He ended up jumping off the roof of the shelter and dying.
There is such a lack of compassion for people that it chills me sometimes when I think of it.
There is such a lack of compassion for people that it chills me sometimes when I think of it.
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,754
That is really cool Krista! I'm sure he will always remember you for that. With the economy the way it is today, any one of us could be on the streets. If that were to happen to me, I wouldn't want to be treated the way mister vile treated that man.
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
I thought I was going to be homeless when I lost my job and the credit card balances ran out. At the end, I packed all my things and tried to figure out what local campgrounds would cost the least to camp at for the winter. It was a couple days before my eviction that I managed to get taken in by someone. I was treated horribly, but at least I had a roof.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,671
What a lot of people don't understand, like you guys were saying, is that many homeless people are mentally ill or addicts. And sure, it's easy to say "well they should stop using drugs!", but it's not that simple, it's an ADDICTION. They literally feel unable to stop, and if they do try, they get incredibly ill, and could even die. There is such a lack of treatment centers and mental hospitals. These people have no where to go. Even shelters get VERY full, and it could be days before one opens up, and even then I think most won't hold a bed for you. So if you go out looking for jobs and come back, your bed is gone and now you're on the street again. Mentally ill people that need to be on medication who can't afford it, so cannot work....I dunno, it just really sucks, and I hate when people think it's just the person being a leach.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,467
I've started being more generous to people I meet in the street. I used to be loathe to give money because everyone would say that I was just feeding these folks' drug habit, or that they were probably making a killing from begging.
But then I read an article by someone who had been torn between 'doing the right thing' and not being made a fool of - he said that essentially he would worry about his conscience, and let the people he gave money to worry about their own. Does this make sense? Maybe it's selfish but it's made me feel an awful lot happier about giving money away to people on the streets. I know that ideally I'd give food or whatever but it's not something I tend to have on me when I'm out and about.
But then I read an article by someone who had been torn between 'doing the right thing' and not being made a fool of - he said that essentially he would worry about his conscience, and let the people he gave money to worry about their own. Does this make sense? Maybe it's selfish but it's made me feel an awful lot happier about giving money away to people on the streets. I know that ideally I'd give food or whatever but it's not something I tend to have on me when I'm out and about.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,028
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristadb 
Cat Good for you. You'll feel better.
When I used to work downtown, I always brought extra food and hand it out to people who asked for money. I'd tell them I didn't have money, but would they like a hardboiled egg, a carrot, and a juice box. I never had anyone turn me down for food, except those high on meth - and I know it was the meth talking, not them. Sometimes, I just left the food at their feet "in case you change your mind."
Cat
Good for you. You'll feel better.When I used to work downtown, I always brought extra food and hand it out to people who asked for money. I'd tell them I didn't have money, but would they like a hardboiled egg, a carrot, and a juice box. I never had anyone turn me down for food, except those high on meth - and I know it was the meth talking, not them. Sometimes, I just left the food at their feet "in case you change your mind."
I do the same thing! Well, I don't give them eggs
( 
) but I give them energy bars or other vegan foods and a flyer about vegan feed-outs. Sometimes they get angry, indignant or even throw it at me (especially the meth-heads and schizophrenics).
Veggie Regular
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,906
most people just don't realize how close they probably are to being homeless (like krista mentioned). how many people are more than one paycheck away from being on the streeets? esp if you don't have a support network around you.
it's hard for me too. i live in a city with a lot of homeless people and i can't financially afford to give to everyone who asks, tho i long to. i give when i can, esp if people are selling Spare Change News, or asking for food or medicine specifically. i also volunteer at a homeless shelter downtown one night a week serving food and cleaning up. i love the guys i work for there--getting to know them, hearing their story, hearing about their week.
that's something you could think about doing too, catgirl.
it's hard for me too. i live in a city with a lot of homeless people and i can't financially afford to give to everyone who asks, tho i long to. i give when i can, esp if people are selling Spare Change News, or asking for food or medicine specifically. i also volunteer at a homeless shelter downtown one night a week serving food and cleaning up. i love the guys i work for there--getting to know them, hearing their story, hearing about their week.
that's something you could think about doing too, catgirl.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,447
Quote:
Originally Posted by catgirl67
That is really cool Krista! I'm sure he will always remember you for that. With the economy the way it is today, any one of us could be on the streets. If that were to happen to me, I wouldn't want to be treated the way mister vile treated that man.
That is really cool Krista! I'm sure he will always remember you for that. With the economy the way it is today, any one of us could be on the streets. If that were to happen to me, I wouldn't want to be treated the way mister vile treated that man.
On the 14th I entered a bit in my Blog on this very topic..Funny how great minds think alike girl. There was a point in my life where I did something similar as your request for compassion. I had the same direct results. I also threw in a "Being a conduit or being an instrument" of a higher power/Karma/What have you, in the aid of others... Although I don't regret it, one should think carefully about what they ask for or want, for it's possible they just might get it.....*L*.. Joking side, if you can change just three persons thought processes on helping those destitute, and encourage them to continue the chain of change along the same lines, life will improve for us all........
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,754
Quote:
Originally Posted by catswym
most people just don't realize how close they probably are to being homeless.
most people just don't realize how close they probably are to being homeless.
Too true. Another thing I have always wondered, why do people only feel inclined to do good deeds for the needy during the holidays? The last time I checked, the homeless were homeless before and after Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,447
Quote:
Originally Posted by catgirl67
Too true. Another thing I have always wondered, why do people only feel inclined to do good deeds for the needy during the holidays? The last time I checked, the homeless were homeless before and after Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Too true. Another thing I have always wondered, why do people only feel inclined to do good deeds for the needy during the holidays? The last time I checked, the homeless were homeless before and after Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I think it's cause we realise how much we have at those times.and it's colder....and it's a seasonal story thing too.. You know the Charles Dickens stuff......... Albiet they need consideration year-round. Thankfully more consider now than not at all......I guess........*sighhh*
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,022
With regard to people being homeless other times of the year, not just Christmas and Thanksgiving, I concur with Tash on it being a seasonal thing. Every year as soon as a cold snap hits, I weed out my under utilized winter clothes and make a trip to a shelter/donation center of some sort. I also live in the city, and homelessness is in my face, so it makes my bones cold to see someone outside and cold. Why should I keep a bunch of stuff I don't wear often in a storage box when temps are dropping into the 20's at night and the shelter is full. Shoot, my house is 100 years old (translation ~ crummy windows), it gets cold in there at night, I can't imagine what it's like on a park bench or on a corner, or under an overpass.
Catgirl67, I worked in Washington, DC right out of college. I got beat down by folks begging for coin every day, so I'd give a little here, little there, food if I had it, whatever. One afternoon coming out of the subway, I gave a guy the loose change I had in my coat pocket. Instead of thanking me, he picked the pennies out and threw them in the street. That started my "get a job" mentality. I hated to be like that and somewhere along the line, I started to realize that many people are about a paycheck away from the streets ~ including me.
Then when I moved to Baltimore, I changed my tune a bit. There are still the pushy panhandlers looking for "food" (their next bottle or rock). Then again, there's the guy who with the biggest smile on his face says to me one day, "Hey lady, can I get a buck so I can go buy a beer?" That guy got my money. He's not lying about what he's doing. Then there's the guy outside the Quick Mart who asked for a quarter and I pull the change out of my pocket to get that quarter and he sees the crumpled up dollar bill and says "well, how about that dollar." He got a quarter and "you asked for a quarter, shoulda asked for the dollar never know what folks got in their pockets" with a smile ~ not a kiss my a** smile, but a "hey dude....gotcha!" and he laughed.
I don't know really where I was headed with this, but I think I had some sort of epiphany. These people do need our compassion....and our money....and our used warm clothes and food. If you've got it to spare and someone needs it, homeless or not, share, you could be looking for a handout next winter.
Catgirl67, I worked in Washington, DC right out of college. I got beat down by folks begging for coin every day, so I'd give a little here, little there, food if I had it, whatever. One afternoon coming out of the subway, I gave a guy the loose change I had in my coat pocket. Instead of thanking me, he picked the pennies out and threw them in the street. That started my "get a job" mentality. I hated to be like that and somewhere along the line, I started to realize that many people are about a paycheck away from the streets ~ including me.
Then when I moved to Baltimore, I changed my tune a bit. There are still the pushy panhandlers looking for "food" (their next bottle or rock). Then again, there's the guy who with the biggest smile on his face says to me one day, "Hey lady, can I get a buck so I can go buy a beer?" That guy got my money. He's not lying about what he's doing. Then there's the guy outside the Quick Mart who asked for a quarter and I pull the change out of my pocket to get that quarter and he sees the crumpled up dollar bill and says "well, how about that dollar." He got a quarter and "you asked for a quarter, shoulda asked for the dollar never know what folks got in their pockets" with a smile ~ not a kiss my a** smile, but a "hey dude....gotcha!" and he laughed.
I don't know really where I was headed with this, but I think I had some sort of epiphany. These people do need our compassion....and our money....and our used warm clothes and food. If you've got it to spare and someone needs it, homeless or not, share, you could be looking for a handout next winter.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,473
I would like to help more homeless people, and I used to give change when I had the chance. But then I learned that some of them turn around and take it to the liquor store, or to the drug store for cough syrup with narcotic in it or lysol with alcohol in it.
So while I still would like to help these people (I understand addiction) I don't want to help their addiction. I usually do donate money to Salvation Army and such, though.
So while I still would like to help these people (I understand addiction) I don't want to help their addiction. I usually do donate money to Salvation Army and such, though.
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,754
Quote:
Originally Posted by dawngirl
With regard to people being homeless other times of the year, not just Christmas and Thanksgiving, I concur with Tash on it being a seasonal thing. Every year as soon as a cold snap hits, I weed out my under utilized winter clothes and make a trip to a shelter/donation center of some sort. I also live in the city, and homelessness is in my face, so it makes my bones cold to see someone outside and cold. Why should I keep a bunch of stuff I don't wear often in a storage box when temps are dropping into the 20's at night and the shelter is full. Shoot, my house is 100 years old (translation ~ crummy windows), it gets cold in there at night, I can't imagine what it's like on a park bench or on a corner, or under an overpass.
Catgirl67, I worked in Washington, DC right out of college. I got beat down by folks begging for coin every day, so I'd give a little here, little there, food if I had it, whatever. One afternoon coming out of the subway, I gave a guy the loose change I had in my coat pocket. Instead of thanking me, he picked the pennies out and threw them in the street. That started my "get a job" mentality. I hated to be like that and somewhere along the line, I started to realize that many people are about a paycheck away from the streets ~ including me.
Then when I moved to Baltimore, I changed my tune a bit. There are still the pushy panhandlers looking for "food" (their next bottle or rock). Then again, there's the guy who with the biggest smile on his face says to me one day, "Hey lady, can I get a buck so I can go buy a beer?" That guy got my money. He's not lying about what he's doing. Then there's the guy outside the Quick Mart who asked for a quarter and I pull the change out of my pocket to get that quarter and he sees the crumpled up dollar bill and says "well, how about that dollar." He got a quarter and "you asked for a quarter, shoulda asked for the dollar never know what folks got in their pockets" with a smile ~ not a kiss my a** smile, but a "hey dude....gotcha!" and he laughed.
I don't know really where I was headed with this, but I think I had some sort of epiphany. These people do need our compassion....and our money....and our used warm clothes and food. If you've got it to spare and someone needs it, homeless or not, share, you could be looking for a handout next winter.
With regard to people being homeless other times of the year, not just Christmas and Thanksgiving, I concur with Tash on it being a seasonal thing. Every year as soon as a cold snap hits, I weed out my under utilized winter clothes and make a trip to a shelter/donation center of some sort. I also live in the city, and homelessness is in my face, so it makes my bones cold to see someone outside and cold. Why should I keep a bunch of stuff I don't wear often in a storage box when temps are dropping into the 20's at night and the shelter is full. Shoot, my house is 100 years old (translation ~ crummy windows), it gets cold in there at night, I can't imagine what it's like on a park bench or on a corner, or under an overpass.
Catgirl67, I worked in Washington, DC right out of college. I got beat down by folks begging for coin every day, so I'd give a little here, little there, food if I had it, whatever. One afternoon coming out of the subway, I gave a guy the loose change I had in my coat pocket. Instead of thanking me, he picked the pennies out and threw them in the street. That started my "get a job" mentality. I hated to be like that and somewhere along the line, I started to realize that many people are about a paycheck away from the streets ~ including me.
Then when I moved to Baltimore, I changed my tune a bit. There are still the pushy panhandlers looking for "food" (their next bottle or rock). Then again, there's the guy who with the biggest smile on his face says to me one day, "Hey lady, can I get a buck so I can go buy a beer?" That guy got my money. He's not lying about what he's doing. Then there's the guy outside the Quick Mart who asked for a quarter and I pull the change out of my pocket to get that quarter and he sees the crumpled up dollar bill and says "well, how about that dollar." He got a quarter and "you asked for a quarter, shoulda asked for the dollar never know what folks got in their pockets" with a smile ~ not a kiss my a** smile, but a "hey dude....gotcha!" and he laughed.
I don't know really where I was headed with this, but I think I had some sort of epiphany. These people do need our compassion....and our money....and our used warm clothes and food. If you've got it to spare and someone needs it, homeless or not, share, you could be looking for a handout next winter.
I know exactly where you are coming from. There are some people I won't give a red cent to. When they ask for money for food, and I offer them food, and they say F'you, etc.
I'm just trying to treat them like the human beings that they are.
My dad used to live in D.C. I know exactly what you are talking about being hit up at every corner.
I had a man tell me one day that he was doing beer research, and wanted to know if I would donate to his research grant. How could I say no to that?
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elena99
I would like to help more homeless people, and I used to give change when I had the chance. But then I learned that some of them turn around and take it to the liquor store, or to the drug store for cough syrup with narcotic in it or lysol with alcohol in it.
So while I still would like to help these people (I understand addiction) I don't want to help their addiction. I usually do donate money to Salvation Army and such, though.
I would like to help more homeless people, and I used to give change when I had the chance. But then I learned that some of them turn around and take it to the liquor store, or to the drug store for cough syrup with narcotic in it or lysol with alcohol in it.
So while I still would like to help these people (I understand addiction) I don't want to help their addiction. I usually do donate money to Salvation Army and such, though.
Then do I do: carry a backpack with you with a few extra snacks and say, "I dont' have any money, but if you're hungry, I have some extra food I wouldn't mind sharing."
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,754
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elena99
I would like to help more homeless people, and I used to give change when I had the chance. But then I learned that some of them turn around and take it to the liquor store, or to the drug store for cough syrup with narcotic in it or lysol with alcohol in it.
So while I still would like to help these people (I understand addiction) I don't want to help their addiction. I usually do donate money to Salvation Army and such, though.
I would like to help more homeless people, and I used to give change when I had the chance. But then I learned that some of them turn around and take it to the liquor store, or to the drug store for cough syrup with narcotic in it or lysol with alcohol in it.
So while I still would like to help these people (I understand addiction) I don't want to help their addiction. I usually do donate money to Salvation Army and such, though.
What I try to do when I don't have change or food, is at least smile at them and tell them that I don't have anything. I at least try to acknowledge their existance. I hate seeing people looking right through them as if they are invisible.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,473
Krista: That might work, when I move back to the city. I'm out in the country now. But I'll try it. :-) Granola bars and apples and stuff could work.
Catgirl: Yeah, I feel bad for them for that reason too. They must get pretty lonely, everyone treating them like a tree.
Catgirl: Yeah, I feel bad for them for that reason too. They must get pretty lonely, everyone treating them like a tree.
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