I haven't laughed so hard in days! This was my favorite:
The president, who was being debriefed on the ceremony by aides in the East Room when the incident began, was whisked by Secret Service agents to the safety of an underground bunker a half-mile below the White House.
I thought he was pathetic, but now I know he is! A half a mile underground to escape a turkey?? This was too hilarious. Thanks for posting this.