Anyone else child free by choice? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-01-2012, 08:20 AM
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I've only met a few other people like me that know that they never want children, and find it exhausting and aggravating to be around them. Anyone else here the same? My partners brother and 3 year old nephew are staying with us for a few days - its been less than 24 hours and I'm already struggling with the constant high pitch baby babble. I was looking forward to tonight when partner and I were meant to be going to my friends wedding reception - a few drinks and a child-free zone = bliss. But he's just said no, he wants to drink all afternoon and evening with his brother so I am going alone and will have to drive myself and drink lemonade all night. Great. 

 

I know I am getting grumpy and snappy with everyone and I hate it. I just can't stand being around kids for more than an hour. Bring on my 12 hour shift at work tomorrow, finally a bit of peace!


That awkward moment when your partner walks into the kitchen to find you huddled in the corner with an open container of nooch and a spoon and your mouth encrusted with little flakes...  
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#2 Old 06-01-2012, 08:37 AM
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lol, I generally hate other peoples kids... well hate is a bit of an overstatement. If I get stuck with them I do try and corrupt them. My sister is still put off by me for something I did years ago... I taught my niece to "speak", I was teaching my dog a new trick and thought well why not, lol. I taught her to sit and stay too.

When one has to "watch" someone elses kids and one doesn't really feel like it a little passive aggression goes a long way. tongue3.gif
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#3 Old 06-01-2012, 10:47 AM
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I agree with forester when you see other peoples kids react you want to be child free.  Its nice you want some couple time with your husband but at the same time you have a 3 year old living with you , you need to set a good example for him. Instead of thinking he is driving you crazy why not purchase a few age appropriate  games and activities and sit with the child and play with him. 

 I would not base your not wanting children on someone else child that they don't do the job of discipline them correctly or do the job.    

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#4 Old 06-01-2012, 11:07 AM
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I knew from an early age that I didn't want kids (I'm male) - I don't hate kids, but I don't enjoy being around them a great deal. I find young kids kinda cute to be around, but only for a short time.

 

If I ever changed my mind, that's fine, but I'm 39 now, and have never felt an iota of desire to have kids even in passing, and I'm not expecting it to happen anytime soon :)

 

I refuse to get drawn into any long conversation if people I meet try to ask me why - I'll very politely tell them that it's not what I want - I know most people seem to want kids, so it's a perfectly understandable thing to ask about it if they meet people who don't - but I refuse to go into detail and explain to people (other than close friends) about the details of why... cos it's not something I need anyone else to understand or approve of - and I'm not very interested in hearing other people's opinions about my reasons for the lifestyle I've chosen - just as I'm sure they wouldn't be very interested in my opinions about their lifestyle - and quite rightly so :)

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#5 Old 06-01-2012, 11:30 AM
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I am child-free by choice. I've known my husband for 19 years this Autumn and he has never wanted children. I used to want them but since being vegan and informing myself with environmental information I know I never want to bring another child into the world.

 

If I was hypothetically ever to get divorced then I might go out with (date) someone that had kids though. I would rather adopt rescue animals rather than adopt/ foster children.smiley.gif

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#6 Old 06-01-2012, 11:46 AM
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I'll join this club! I do love my siblings' and close friends' kids but if they start getting obnoxious, I can't get away fast enough. Same for kids screaming in a store or restaurant. It makes me want to poke my eardrums out. I think I was about 16 the first time I uttered the sentence "I don't ever want kids" and it took years before the "you'll change your mind" comments stopped. I still get "it's different when they're your own" once in a while but it's not too bad now. I have several child-free friends, which is kind of surprising considering where I live, but it's nice to have like-minded pals. I also have a couple good friends with small kids who don't think kids should run the show, which is probably why I still enjoy hanging out with them and actually like those kids (though it does NOT make me want one 24/7.) :p

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#7 Old 06-01-2012, 11:52 AM
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I am. As is my husband, conveniently. :)

 

I like kids just fine, but they are not the most interesting people on the planet and I find them exhausting even when I really want to hang out with them. And I just have other things I'd rather do with my time than bear and raise children.

 

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Originally Posted by peacefulveglady View Post

I agree with forester when you see other peoples kids react you want to be child free.  Its nice you want some couple time with your husband but at the same time you have a 3 year old living with you , you need to set a good example for him. Instead of thinking he is driving you crazy why not purchase a few age appropriate  games and activities and sit with the child and play with him. 

 I would not base your not wanting children on someone else child that they don't do the job of discipline them correctly or do the job.    

 

What example? Not everyone wants to play games with a three year old.

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#8 Old 06-01-2012, 11:56 AM
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I like kids, I just never had a desire to be pregnant or give birth. Plus, I really like sleeping. sleeping.gif

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#9 Old 06-01-2012, 11:58 AM
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"you'll change your mind" comments

It's so annoying when people say things like that!

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I like kids just fine, but they are not the most interesting people on the planet and I find them exhausting even when I really want to hang out with them.

Children, well toddlers especially, are very exhausting.

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#10 Old 06-01-2012, 12:17 PM
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Well that was the plan for me didn't last vefy long though lol but coming from where i was i think i'll always be able to understand people that don't want them and i've always hated kids and never wanted any but i at least know i will love my own

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#11 Old 06-01-2012, 04:39 PM
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I saw some female comedian saying that she gets annoyed when friends keep showing her loads of photos of their babies, so she shows them photos of really nice lie-ins that she's had...

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#12 Old 06-01-2012, 04:58 PM
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The Mrs never wanted kids either till she met me, lol. I love em but am glad they are no longer home full time.
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#13 Old 06-01-2012, 05:00 PM
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If anyone is on reddit, you may like this subreddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/childfree

korrakorrakorrakorrakorra
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#14 Old 06-01-2012, 05:04 PM
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If anyone is on reddit, you may like this subreddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/childfree

I lol'd at this picture:

676
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#15 Old 06-01-2012, 05:13 PM
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The Mrs never wanted kids either till she met me, lol. I love em but am glad they are no longer home full time.

See if I see a hot looking guy and then notice he's pushing a stroller, it's instant letdown. :p 

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#16 Old 06-01-2012, 05:43 PM
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Ive known from a young age that I never want kids. Everyone says "youll change your mind" but um im 26 ive had long enough to do that. Ive met a man I want to settle down with (although that didnt work out) and it didnt change my mind despite people saying when you meet the right man you change.

 

I like kids in small doses, but I like being able to give them back. haha. I cant wait til my sister/friends have kids and i can play with them/see them grow up/corrupt them, but thats as far as it goes.

 

Does anyone else who is childfree and single worry about potential partners? I know it would be a BIG breaking point for a lot of people. Id hate for a man to really want kids, think I'll change later so go along with me, then when he realises in 10 years time I wont budge then what? My last long term relationship they accepted I didnt want kids and werent overly fussed themself, but who knows about if I find someone else would they be ok with it.

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#17 Old 06-01-2012, 05:44 PM
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I'm over 50 and I am so glad I didn't have kids. I didn't like being a kid and would not have been a good mother I don't think. Believe me when I say no regrets. Not reproducing is one of the best things I ever did. In the end also though, I don't want to live with another person. I like living a lone. Only fur covered creatures are welcome to live with me. So I'm not really alone then.

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#18 Old 06-01-2012, 10:37 PM
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This article is how those who have children annoy the child-free.

 

Big hint:  If you're talking about how you can't do things because you have children, and then sign your letter as "Tired of Being the Only Adult In the Room", you aren't.

 

Adults tend to show foresight for the consequences of their actions.

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#19 Old 06-01-2012, 11:56 PM
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This article is how those who have children annoy the child-free.

 

Big hint:  If you're talking about how you can't do things because you have children, and then sign your letter as "Tired of Being the Only Adult In the Room", you aren't.

 

Adults tend to show foresight for the consequences of their actions.


Uhh ok, she's talking about how her friends seem to think she should be able to act like them and do everything they do, even though she has kids, so therefore can't. And she's not "not an adult" because she has kids and is saying how she can't do things, i didn't see her straight up complaining for no reason, she's explaining why she can't do the same things, and even if she was complaining, so what, sometimes people need to freaking do that whether it's something they caused or not, if i break my toe it's my fault, but please allow me to say it hurts without getting on my ass about it. Seems to me your kid hate has hurt your ability to comprehend what she was actually writing. The commenters seem to think the same, maybe i'm just seeing it differently but i see it as her saying for people not to expect her to be able to do all the exact same things because she has stuff in the way, not telling others to revolve around her. Some things were a little rude, i guess everyone should be able to complain, even those that get 9 hours of straight sleep, people need to think of it differently, when she says you shouldn't be complaining because you get tons of sleep, she's jealous of you, and the other stuff she just asks that you realize what kids involve and then decide if you want to involve yourself in that situation. When i have my baby i will need to leave the room to breastfeed and take care of him, i probably won't be able to talk to my friends for hours on end, and they need to realize that and deal with it and decide if they still want to be friends with me or not.

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#20 Old 06-01-2012, 11:57 PM
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This is making me think again about giving him up for adoption.

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#21 Old 06-02-2012, 12:21 AM
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This is making me think again about giving him up for adoption.


I hope you're able to figure out the best situation for you and the baby.  If you're serious about this, I have seen open adoptions work very well, and the bio mother got to pick the parents.


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#22 Old 06-02-2012, 12:45 AM
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I love children, though some of them can be little ****s. Today I was walking through the mall and this boy, about 10 or 11 launched himself at me as if he was going to attack me, he was like one of those "school bully" types who are always trying to bother and harass others... I had an impulse to give him a right-hook but then he suddenly ran off again, just as well as I might have ended up at the police station...

Apart from my dislike of nasty people and bullies of all ages, I love children. Would love some of my own but life hasnt worked out that way. I might very well end up childfree. If I do I guess I will try and do other stuff like travel.
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#23 Old 06-02-2012, 12:52 AM
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When i have my baby i will need to leave the room to breastfeed and take care of him, i probably won't be able to talk to my friends for hours on end, and they need to realize that and deal with it and decide if they still want to be friends with me or not.

If they are female friends you could probably just feed in front of them. They are unlikely to be bothered, unless they are really prudish or something.
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#24 Old 06-02-2012, 01:02 AM
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I lol'd at this picture:
676

I find that picture strange, because of course that will happen. It happens if you have pets too. I would often have a cat waiting outside the bathroom while I had a shower.
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#25 Old 06-02-2012, 02:38 AM
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Uhh ok, she's talking about how her friends seem to think she should be able to act like them and do everything they do, even though she has kids, so therefore can't. And she's not "not an adult" because she has kids and is saying how she can't do things, i didn't see her straight up complaining for no reason, she's explaining why she can't do the same things, and even if she was complaining, so what, sometimes people need to freaking do that whether it's something they caused or not, if i break my toe it's my fault, but please allow me to say it hurts without getting on my ass about it. Seems to me your kid hate has hurt your ability to comprehend what she was actually writing. The commenters seem to think the same, maybe i'm just seeing it differently but i see it as her saying for people not to expect her to be able to do all the exact same things because she has stuff in the way, not telling others to revolve around her. Some things were a little rude, i guess everyone should be able to complain, even those that get 9 hours of straight sleep, people need to think of it differently, when she says you shouldn't be complaining because you get tons of sleep, she's jealous of you, and the other stuff she just asks that you realize what kids involve and then decide if you want to involve yourself in that situation. When i have my baby i will need to leave the room to breastfeed and take care of him, i probably won't be able to talk to my friends for hours on end, and they need to realize that and deal with it and decide if they still want to be friends with me or not.

 

BS.  Pure stinking BS.

 

She's telling her friends that if they come over, they need to play with her child instead of expecting to talk to her.  And by the way, ignore the kid sneezing on you.  She's condescending to her friends, not understanding how they could possibly be tired without being parents.

 

How is she a good friend?

 

Just imagine if it was anything other than a kid.  Imagine if a friend told you this:


"Pardon me friends, I was up all night with the puppy.  He has a lot of energy, so if you come over, you'll have to spend the time playing with him.  He might hump your leg, but at least it isn't dog poop.  Oh, and I'm so tired since I've gotten this puppy.  It wakes me up all the time in the middle of the night.  You just don't understand, not having a puppy and all.  That's also why I can't visit you as well, since your house isn't puppy-proof".

 

Would you want to remain friends with someone like that?

 

Friendship is a two-way street.  She accuses her friends of being uncompromising, but I don't see her compromising either.

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#26 Old 06-02-2012, 03:14 AM
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TBH most of my friendships with other women with children have not gone well. They seem to think I live this really amazing, "Sex In The City" style existence just because I am single and childless- far from the truth- and they start only hanging out with other mothers. So there is not really much you can do when this happens.
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#27 Old 06-02-2012, 03:25 AM
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"Pardon me friends, I was up all night with the puppy.  He has a lot of energy, so if you come over, you'll have to spend the time playing with him.  He might hump your leg, but at least it isn't dog poop.  Oh, and I'm so tired since I've gotten this puppy.  It wakes me up all the time in the middle of the night.  You just don't understand, not having a puppy and all.  That's also why I can't visit you as well, since your house isn't puppy-proof"

 

Would you want to remain friends with someone like that?

Yes!  And I'll babysit the puppy too.


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#28 Old 06-02-2012, 03:47 AM
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Yes!  And I'll babysit the puppy too.

 

See, I knew I was going wrong by using a puppy as an example.  Nobody with a soul hates puppies.  ;)

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#29 Old 06-02-2012, 04:50 AM
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Does anyone else who is childfree and single worry about potential partners? I know it would be a BIG breaking point for a lot of people. Id hate for a man to really want kids, think I'll change later so go along with me, then when he realises in 10 years time I wont budge then what? My last long term relationship they accepted I didnt want kids and werent overly fussed themself, but who knows about if I find someone else would they be ok with it.

I've met quite a lot of vegan people that are child-free so maybe you should try and meet some vegans in your local area! Actually I know quite a few omni people that don't want kids too. Also say in 10 years time you could meet a partner who might have teenage children from a previous relationship so they might not want any more kids.smiley.gif

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This article is how those who have children annoy the child-free.

 

What an irritating article!tongue3.gif It makes it sound like people without children have no responsibilities.

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#30 Old 06-02-2012, 05:37 AM
 
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I have known since about the age of 5 that I had no desire to have children. People have said all my life that I will "change my mind one day" but I never have. I am now 26 and in a long-term relationship with a like-minded man. It can be hard to find a guy that doesn't want kids. I imagine it's even harder for the men out there to find a like-minded woman. Society breeds women to be baby-crazy and feel inadequate if they opt out of the whole motherhood thing. Frankly, I have little to no patience for small kids. While I feel I have a lot of good traits I *could* pass on to others, I know becoming a mother is definitely NOT for me. The whole notion of being pregnant creeps me out. No thank you!

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