Anyone else child free by choice? - Page 2 - VeggieBoards
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#31 Old 06-02-2012, 04:55 AM
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If they are female friends you could probably just feed in front of them. They are unlikely to be bothered, unless they are really prudish or something.


Absolutely. I have friend that is breastfeeding at the moment and I have no problem sitting there chatting with her while she feeds her son. It's natural and babies need to eat!

 

When my friend is not alone she just warns everyone that the baby is hungry and that will mean that she will be breastfeeding so if they are uncomfortable with that then they can leave the room. Each and every time it's always the guys that leave. All the women stay.

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#32 Old 06-02-2012, 05:48 AM
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Yes!  And I'll babysit the puppy too.


Me too!

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#33 Old 06-02-2012, 05:49 AM
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When my friend is not alone she just warns everyone that the baby is hungry and that will mean that she will be breastfeeding so if they are uncomfortable with that then they can leave the room. Each and every time it's always the guys that leave. All the women stay.

 

I can understand maybe a teenager being embarassed with a woman breastfeeding in front of them but adults having that reaction seems really bizarre to me.dizzy2.gif

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#34 Old 06-02-2012, 05:54 AM
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Absolutely. I have friend that is breastfeeding at the moment and I have no problem sitting there chatting with her while she feeds her son. It's natural and babies need to eat!

When my friend is not alone she just warns everyone that the baby is hungry and that will mean that she will be breastfeeding so if they are uncomfortable with that then they can leave the room. Each and every time it's always the guys that leave. All the women stay.

That's because they know they'll catch hell from their woman if they stay in the room... that and breasts are eye magnets if a guy stays in the room only a matter of time before he makes everyone uncomfortable. tongue3.gif

Best to just avoid the situation.
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#35 Old 06-02-2012, 06:02 AM
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I find that picture strange, because of course that will happen. It happens if you have pets too. I would often have a cat waiting outside the bathroom while I had a shower.

The picture was kind of strange, but still funny. I just leave the door open now so the dogs can come and go as they please while I'm showering.
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#36 Old 06-02-2012, 08:04 AM
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I wasn't going to reply, since I have two adult children, but Alix's comment changed my mind. I'm glad that women have the choice in or society to remain child-free pretty easily. Birth control, abortion, adoption, etc have given today's women unheard of freedom of lifestyle. Personally, my life and relationship with my husband is so enmeshed and enhanced by our children that I can't imagine our lives without them. Raising them was busy, interesting, fun, and exhausting. And I am such good friends with them now (23 and 19) that I'm really glad they are my family. Sacrifices were made, but for us, the rewards were much greater. I'm just happy women have the choice, and I think we should stop judging those who made different decisions than we did.
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#37 Old 06-02-2012, 08:41 AM
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I wasn't going to reply, since I have two adult children, but Alix's comment changed my mind. I'm glad that women have the choice in or society to remain child-free pretty easily. Birth control, abortion, adoption, etc have given today's women unheard of freedom of lifestyle. Personally, my life and relationship with my husband is so enmeshed and enhanced by our children that I can't imagine our lives without them. Raising them was busy, interesting, fun, and exhausting. And I am such good friends with them now (23 and 19) that I'm really glad they are my family. Sacrifices were made, but for us, the rewards were much greater. I'm just happy women have the choice, and I think we should stop judging those who made different decisions than we did.

That's how we feel, couldn't imagine life w/o them right now. Ours our 23, 21 & 19, wonderful to be around even though I jest that it is nice when they're off to school which it is, but it's also nice when they are around to visit. The best part is now the tables are turned on our friends who waited to start their families. My best friend has an 8 yo and a 6 yo, no way no how I'd want to go back there. Sucked to be tied down when they could go do things together w/o kids but now they are tied down and we're much more free and still young enough (and way better financially off) to enjoy the finer things in life. Now that we're at this point in our lives I wouldn't want to change a thing.
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#38 Old 06-02-2012, 09:41 AM
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I do not have children, by choice and am glad with my choice.  In general I have no problems with children, but I just don't want to reproduce.


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#39 Old 06-02-2012, 11:13 AM
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Yay, I'm not alone then!

 

I went through a horrendous break up 3 years ago when the man I was with decided that he probably wanted kids. He had always known my feelings on that but was counting on those old classics 'she'll grow up and change her mind/it will be different once she's had them'. It was so incredibly painful, but my new partner understands and accepts me for me and is happy not to have his own kids. He has nieces and nephews to play with when he feels like being around children.

 

Bf and his brother were out when I got home from work and won't be back for hours so by then, the toddler will be asleep and put straight to bed. I am so grateful!


That awkward moment when your partner walks into the kitchen to find you huddled in the corner with an open container of nooch and a spoon and your mouth encrusted with little flakes...  
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#40 Old 06-02-2012, 11:21 AM
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BS.  Pure stinking BS.

 

She's telling her friends that if they come over, they need to play with her child instead of expecting to talk to her.  And by the way, ignore the kid sneezing on you.  She's condescending to her friends, not understanding how they could possibly be tired without being parents.

 

How is she a good friend?

 

Just imagine if it was anything other than a kid.  Imagine if a friend told you this:


"Pardon me friends, I was up all night with the puppy.  He has a lot of energy, so if you come over, you'll have to spend the time playing with him.  He might hump your leg, but at least it isn't dog poop.  Oh, and I'm so tired since I've gotten this puppy.  It wakes me up all the time in the middle of the night.  You just don't understand, not having a puppy and all.  That's also why I can't visit you as well, since your house isn't puppy-proof".

 

Would you want to remain friends with someone like that?

 

Friendship is a two-way street.  She accuses her friends of being uncompromising, but I don't see her compromising either.


I'm not ridiculous though, i know a puppy doesn't take that much work, you may not like to believe it but babies do in fact take a lot more work, you can ignore a puppy barking or whining or put food in their bowl, you can't do that for a kid, i know this forum hates kids and for the most part i hate most others, but i'm at least realistic in knowing the difference between a baby and a pet. No i don't think she's a good friend, but i don't think she's trying to say she is, maybe i'm giving her too much leeway, i just know that a lot of times when i try to explain stuff people take it the wrong way. I would expect that if my friends wanted to come over they would have something to do with my kid too, otherwise why would you come over, she said "if you come over", and it was because her friends made the choice to want to hang out, not like she insisted they come over all the time and then made them look after her kids. To me it seems she doesn't have that much time, and her friends don't really understand that, maybe she doesn't even want to be friends with them, i'll probably end up with parent friends now because you can do things together which sucks. Tell me aside from her attitude and all that, what would you say she should do to compromise?

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#41 Old 06-02-2012, 12:16 PM
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No kids for me, thank you!


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#42 Old 06-02-2012, 02:35 PM
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I'm not ridiculous though, i know a puppy doesn't take that much work, you may not like to believe it but babies do in fact take a lot more work, you can ignore a puppy barking or whining or put food in their bowl, you can't do that for a kid,

I dont know, from what I have learned from caring for animals is yes there arent all the dirty nappies and breastfeeding etc but there is still poop to clean and you need to feed them, clean up after them, change their bedding, sweep their hairs, grooming, walk them, spend time stroking them, entertain and play with them, take them to the vet, if you go on holiday you have to find someone to look after them... they definitely are a huge responsibility and require a lot of attention, though not on the scale of having a human child of course.
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#43 Old 06-02-2012, 02:43 PM
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i know this forum hates kids
 

I don't know if that comment was directed at everyone on this thread who is child-free or it was just a general comment about VB but I don't hate kids at all. I used to work with them and clearly some kids can be bratty but then so can some adults! 

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#44 Old 06-02-2012, 03:29 PM
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I'm not ridiculous though, i know a puppy doesn't take that much work, you may not like to believe it but babies do in fact take a lot more work

 

Babies take more work, but the kid's two.  You'd think the mother could find a little bit of time away from her child to be with her friends.  The father could watch the child, or they could get a babysitter.

 

She's being a baby martyr, and not understanding why her friends don't want to be a part of that.

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#45 Old 06-02-2012, 04:11 PM
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Tell me aside from her attitude and all that, what would you say she should do to compromise?

The woman in the article is an *******. I can only imagine her friends are *******s too. I would say they could all stop being *******s and that would be compromise enough.
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#46 Old 06-02-2012, 07:00 PM
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The woman in the article is an *******. I can only imagine her friends are *******s too. I would say they could all stop being *******s and that would be compromise enough.

Yeah... maybe, harsh no doubt but I really got that she was frustrated with her childless friends that thought she could continue on acting childless when in fact she wasn't. Kids are a big responsibility a responsibility that her childless friends hadn't quite grasped yet. Personally a simple I really can't do "fill in the blank" with you... I gotta keep an eye on the kids should suffice, she just let it go too far and blew up.
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#47 Old 06-02-2012, 09:58 PM
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I just cleaned a whole lot of poop up, and I cleaned up vomit 6 times in the last 2 weeks. Childfree and responsibility free indeed.
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#48 Old 06-03-2012, 12:17 AM
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I've raised other people's kids ever since I was one. I started acting as an almost full time parent to my cousin's first child after she got a divorce from her first husband when I was 10 and he was a toddler. That lasted until she got remarried when I was 13 and then resumed with the addition of 2 more children when I was 14 or 15 after her husband had a car accident and died.

Then when I was in the army I married and cared for 2 boys that were actually my wife's ex-husband's kids from a previous marriage (kind of a strange situation).

They were 2 boys (8 and 10 years old when I married). I took care of them for 2 years before my marriage fell apart and they went to the ex-husband's mother.

I also babysat 3 boys (ages 2, 3 & 4 when I first met them) sometimes for a week or more at a time for some friends and neighbors. - I include this as I did it for around 10 years, and there was never a week where I didn't babysit for at least for a night.

I also ran a drop in daycare for a while.

I've never had a problem with young kids.

 

However I've never had kids of my own and really doubt that I ever will. Occasionally I wonder how my life would have turned out if I'd had a child of my own. I know it would of been very different, but that ship has sailed.


I am my own bad companion

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#49 Old 06-03-2012, 07:25 AM
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I've raised other people's kids ever since I was one.

Are you Dwight Schrute?! wideeyed.gif
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#50 Old 06-03-2012, 11:26 PM
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Are you Dwight Schrute?! wideeyed.gif


I have never performed my own circumcision.


I am my own bad companion

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#51 Old 06-04-2012, 05:33 AM
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I love hanging out with kids (not babies, though) and regularly look after them, but I have also always said I wouldn't have kids and always got the sae response that many of you have, that I would change my mind.

I am very nearly 40 so sometimes feel like saying "told you so!" to those who said that.

I have felt an awful amount of pressure to have children from various sources which, frankly, I find disgraceful and have had to 'ban' certain family members from mentioning it to me anymore.

Thankfully, many of live in areas where women finally have a choice not to have children, but many still do not and even in a rich society, I know many women who have succumbed to the pressure and regretted it.sad.gif

I am an excellent auntie.blush.gif
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#52 Old 06-04-2012, 06:26 AM
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Well into my 20's I didn't even want a girlfriend (I was 24 years old the first time I held hands), let alone kids.  I was afraid relationships would interfere with my career and give me something extra to worry about during deployments.  I liked to have the freedom of not only not having to worry about others, but not having to worry about others worrying about me.  I eventually became sort of indifferent to the idea though.  Like I felt that I could be a good father and might even enjoy it, but wouldn't have felt incomplete if I never was.  Well my girlfriend wanted a baby, I felt comfortable with the idea of having one with her, so we had one, and I must say I'm pretty happy.  I would have been fine if things had worked out differently though, and I can certainly understand not wanting kids.  We all have our places in life, whether we were put there through circumstances out of our control or chose to put ourselves there, and not everyone's is child raising.


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#53 Old 06-04-2012, 05:18 PM
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"Pardon me friends, I was up all night with the puppy.  He has a lot of energy, so if you come over, you'll have to spend the time playing with him.  He might hump your leg, but at least it isn't dog poop.  Oh, and I'm so tired since I've gotten this puppy.  It wakes me up all the time in the middle of the night.  You just don't understand, not having a puppy and all.  That's also why I can't visit you as well, since your house isn't puppy-proof".

 

Awesome! As I am both an introvert and a new puppy mom, I am so going to use this excuse not to hang out with people! :D


slops, gloops, and gruels.
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#54 Old 06-04-2012, 05:31 PM
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Childfree and responsibility free indeed.

 

That's my biggest complaint. I don't care how many kids someone has if they can care for them properly, but the thought that some parents have that the child free have no responsibilities and can't be busy really bugs me.

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#55 Old 06-09-2012, 04:24 PM
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Hi...back after a very extended absence.

 

I'm single by choice and have no children by choice.  I could say "well circumstances got in the way and it just never happened."  BS.  If you want kids badly enough, you make it happen...IVF, donor sperm, adoption, what have you.  I haven't done that, and that tells me that deep down I don't want kids.

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#56 Old 07-12-2012, 01:22 PM
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Hi...back after a very extended absence.

I'm single by choice and have no children by choice.  I could say "well circumstances got in the way and it just never happened."  BS.  If you want kids badly enough, you make it happen...IVF, donor sperm, adoption, what have you.  I haven't done that, and that tells me that deep down I don't want kids.

Nice to see you back! grin.gif

I'm getting the feeling that's true of me as well. Sometimes I think about it but it's always more about obligations, it would make my mom happy and blah blah blah. The truth is that I just don't want to do it. I don't want to be pregnant or go through labour or raise a kid, it all sounds scary shocked.gif

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#57 Old 07-12-2012, 03:05 PM
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Nice to see you back! grin.gif
I'm getting the feeling that's true of me as well. Sometimes I think about it but it's always more about obligations, it would make my mom happy and blah blah blah. The truth is that I just don't want to do it. I don't want to be pregnant or go through labour or raise a kid, it all sounds scary shocked.gif

 

Agreed! And I don't want to contribute to the overpopulation either. If I really wanted a child, I'd adopt as to give a child a loving home that needs one instead of just bringing another child into this world that didn't need a home to begin with o.o That said, I don't wanna adopt either. More me time =3


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#58 Old 07-12-2012, 03:43 PM
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Hi...back after a very extended absence.

 

I'm single by choice and have no children by choice.  I could say "well circumstances got in the way and it just never happened."  BS.  If you want kids badly enough, you make it happen...IVF, donor sperm, adoption, what have you.  I haven't done that, and that tells me that deep down I don't want kids.

Welcome back!

 

Someone told me about a show they saw recently where a lady preferred her dog to her kid. That would so be me if I had a kid. Again so glad I didn't. The poor child would have been in therapy for decades undoing having me for a mom. I am much better as an aunt or a friend, when I can have fun with them and then RETURN them.

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#59 Old 07-12-2012, 04:24 PM
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Bringing children into this world is child abuse. " That's right junior. you're coming aboard the ball of despair (aka Earth) and you'll grow up and work 5 days a week and get 2 lousy days off, over and over. 'Cause I want my stupid last name to "carry on". "Cause my stupid last name is something like " Smith" and "smith" has an 'S' and an "H" and an "I" and a "T". And you're going to LIKE IT ! Just like your grandpa currently feeling like crap at the nursing home has possibly liked it, for the past 85 years ! "

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#60 Old 07-12-2012, 04:57 PM
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Bringing children into this world is child abuse. " That's right junior. you're coming aboard the ball of despair (aka Earth) and you'll grow up and work 5 days a week and get 2 lousy days off, over and over. 'Cause I want my stupid last name to "carry on". "Cause my stupid last name is something like " Smith" and "smith" has an 'S' and an "H" and an "I" and a "T". And you're going to LIKE IT ! Just like your grandpa currently feeling like crap at the nursing home has possibly liked it, for the past 85 years ! "


+1 I recently began to think the same thing.


"Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?" ~Pierre Troubetzkoy
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