The why do many VB'ers leave VB thread. - Page 4 - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 Old 11-19-2011, 01:32 PM
Veggie Regular
 
sequoia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5,299
Quote:
Originally Posted by fadeaway1289 View Post

It sounds terrible. Why are you there? It doesn't sound like a good place to sign up for and hang around in.

I only joined about 1 month ago, and a lot of the shenanigans are fairly recent. I rarely post anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Envy View Post

In a forum where everything goes, one cannot enter and claim to be offended.

Which forum is it by the way?

It isn't supposed to be "everything goes". The rules are the same as the rules here, but they aren't enforced. I won't say which forum it is.

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
Jean-Paul Sartre
sequoia is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#92 Old 11-20-2011, 07:46 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Wolfie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,850
Quote:
Originally Posted by Envy View Post

In a forum where everything goes, one cannot enter and claim to be offended.

I used to go to a forum like that. Actually it was a subforum of the main forum. I kinda enjoyed it as it made me realize I'm not at bad as I thought. There are people much sicker than me!
Wolfie is offline  
#93 Old 11-20-2011, 10:31 AM
Veggie Regular
 
paisleyjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,209
I have been gone for not-quite a year, but that is because I got REALLY busy with graduating university (finishing my final practicums etc) and then after I graduated I moved into an intentional community (sustainable living internship at an Ecovillage), and had no internet access. After that I spent some time living off grid, again, no internet.
I am back to VB and see that many of the people I loved talking to are no longer here, which is a bummer, but there are still lots of great people here, so I'm staying!
paisleyjane is offline  
#94 Old 11-20-2011, 10:39 AM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Yay, PJ is back! I'm here! Hope you like talking to me
danakscully64 is offline  
#95 Old 11-20-2011, 12:48 PM
Veggie Regular
 
paisleyjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,209
Of course, my dear!
paisleyjane is offline  
#96 Old 11-20-2011, 02:47 PM
Veggie Regular
 
sequoia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5,299
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfie View Post

I used to go to a forum like that. Actually it was a subforum of the main forum. I kinda enjoyed it as it made me realize I'm not at bad as I thought. There are people much sicker than me!

I am considered the "nice" one on the forum I'm talking about. It's very strange.

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
Jean-Paul Sartre
sequoia is offline  
#97 Old 11-20-2011, 03:36 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Spoonerism's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 966
I've been a member of forums where flame wars were pretty common, so yea VB is very tame by comparison.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sequoia View Post

I am considered the "nice" one on the forum I'm talking about. It's very strange.

*Twilight Zone music*

"I am a woman of science. At least that's what my horoscope said."
Spoonerism is offline  
#98 Old 11-20-2011, 05:18 PM
Beginner
 
mountainhugger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 162
Quote:
Originally Posted by paisleyjane View Post

I have been gone for not-quite a year, but that is because I got REALLY busy with graduating university (finishing my final practicums etc) and then after I graduated I moved into an intentional community (sustainable living internship at an Ecovillage), and had no internet access. After that I spent some time living off grid, again, no internet.
I am back to VB and see that many of the people I loved talking to are no longer here, which is a bummer, but there are still lots of great people here, so I'm staying!

Intentional communities seem really cool. Was it an overall positive experience? Are you still living there?
mountainhugger is offline  
#99 Old 11-21-2011, 01:43 PM
mlp
Banned
 
mlp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8,995
Well, one reason is that there's more concern for protecting people from their own words than there is for holding them accountable for the harm they cause with those words. Case in point: the current *cleansing* of the Compassion for Pedophiles thread.
mlp is offline  
#100 Old 11-21-2011, 01:46 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Snowcone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Your Mother's basement.
Posts: 2,587
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlp View Post

Well, one reason is that there's more concern for protecting people from their own words than there is for holding them accountable for the harm they cause with those words. Case in point: the current *cleansing* of the Compassion for Pedophiles thread.

There is that.

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
Snowcone is offline  
#101 Old 11-21-2011, 02:07 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,726
Quote:
Originally Posted by paisleyjane View Post

I have been gone for not-quite a year, but that is because I got REALLY busy with graduating university (finishing my final practicums etc) and then after I graduated I moved into an intentional community (sustainable living internship at an Ecovillage), and had no internet access. After that I spent some time living off grid, again, no internet.
I am back to VB and see that many of the people I loved talking to are no longer here, which is a bummer, but there are still lots of great people here, so I'm staying!

Welcome back!!
PTree15 is offline  
#102 Old 11-21-2011, 02:41 PM
Veggie Regular
 
krispex22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Pa, usa
Posts: 961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post

Same here, I actually think VB is an extremely polite and tame place compared to most of the internet. We can't even swear here

Wait we cant swear... I never did read the rules of the board ooopsies
krispex22 is offline  
#103 Old 11-21-2011, 02:46 PM
Ankle Biter
 
Poppy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Central Virginia, USA
Posts: 9,333
Swear all you want - seriously! Just be sure you spell the words correctly. You can get grief for putting in "*" where a letter should be because that bypasses the filter.

It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities. ~A. Dumbledore
Poppy is offline  
#104 Old 11-21-2011, 03:26 PM
Veggie Regular
 
kazyeeqen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poppy View Post

Swear all you want - seriously! Just be sure you spell the words correctly. You can get grief for putting in "*" where a letter should be because that bypasses the filter.

That always bothered me, when people try to bypass the filter. I think swear filters are great, then I can swear and it's gets automatically 'bleeped' for me, and it's not like people don't understand what I'm saying, the emphasis is still there. It's almost more emphatic, because of the filter.

I have no swear filter of my own.
kazyeeqen is offline  
#105 Old 11-21-2011, 05:00 PM
mlp
Banned
 
mlp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8,995
There are probably more reasons people leave VB than there are members at any given time. For me, there have been many reasons, including, but not necessarily limited to, the following:

The moderation, which often seems to be more focused on protecting people from the consequences of their own words than on protecting those who may be adversely affected by those words. The recent cleansing of the Compassion for Pedophiles thread is only the most recent example of this – all the potentially triggering posts were apparently acceptable, but calling out the people who posted them resulted in a thread cleansing.

The board as a whole does at least give the appearance of tolerating homophobia and other bigotries – when people don’t speak out, that’s the impression that’s left.

For a supposedly family friendly board, over the years there has been a lot of tolerance for adult men making repeated suggestive comments to young teens under the age of consent. The last time I checked, the men (middle aged ones) have still been members here, although not recently active.

And one that I want to address directly to Michael: Over the years, I have lost respect for you because you tolerate Tame talking **** about your VB moderators all over the internet, including on your other boards. He’s your friend; I get that. What I don’t get is the lack of respect he has for you when he does that, and the lack of respect you have for the individuals who donate their time to keep this board, which produces income for you but not for them, when you tolerate what Tame does.

Ultimately, the reason people leave VB is because they’re happier not being part of it. And ultimately, that’s my reason. I did miss a not insignificant number of people on here, and I will again. I’m extremely fond of some of you, I respect some of you. (I hope that you all know who you are.) Others I enjoy reading or arguing with, because you have interesting things to say. But I’m 55, and I really haven’t changed much in my life, and I’m not likely to do so now. I’ve never been able to shut up and ignore what I consider to be despicable viewpoints, and I’ve come to a point in my life where I don’t see the point of wasting my time countering such viewpoints only to have my posts deleted even though they didn’t violate TOS. When I asked to re-activate my account yesterday, I figured my stay would be of short duration, because despite missing some of you, my life without VB is better than my life with VB.

I’ll check back periodically to make sure that the people I care about are still alive and well, as I did when the rioting was occurring in Great Britain. But I also know myself well enough to know that when I do, I’ll get drawn back into posting, and I don’t want that – it’s not productive for me, in the circumstances. That’s why I asked to have my account permanently deleted earlier (that, and I want to make sure that this is my final swan song ). When I hit the submit button on this post, I’ll also report this post to make sure that my earlier request is followed through on.

Oh, two more things – when I last communicated with Kiz, she was very gravely ill. I didn’t post anything about it, because I didn’t know the extent to which she wanted it kept in confidence. And Irizary has my e-mail address.



mlp is offline  
#106 Old 11-21-2011, 05:08 PM
Veggie Regular
 
AspireToInspire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,929
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlp View Post

And Irizary has my e-mail address.

Good because your inbox is full!
AspireToInspire is offline  
#107 Old 11-21-2011, 05:59 PM
Veggie Regular
 
dormouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,609
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlp View Post

There are probably more reasons people leave VB than there are members at any given time. For me, there have been many reasons, including, but not necessarily limited to, the following:

The moderation, which often seems to be more focused on protecting people from the consequences of their own words than on protecting those who may be adversely affected by those words. The recent cleansing of the Compassion for Pedophiles thread is only the most recent example of this all the potentially triggering posts were apparently acceptable, but calling out the people who posted them resulted in a thread cleansing.

The board as a whole does at least give the appearance of tolerating homophobia and other bigotries when people dont speak out, thats the impression thats left.

For a supposedly family friendly board, over the years there has been a lot of tolerance for adult men making repeated suggestive comments to young teens under the age of consent. The last time I checked, the men (middle aged ones) have still been members here, although not recently active.

I know there will be and cannot be a response from mlp on this, but I still want to address this. First of all, I don't know what she means by "often" when it comes to protecting people from their own words. Just because she thinks it happened once recently doesn't mean it happens all the time. Still, she is mischaracterizing why we cleaned up the "Compassion for Pedophiles" thread. It is because an off-topic conversation de-railed the entire thread. Additionally, a strong case could be made that the de-railing comment was an ad-hominem attack. No one was trying to protect anyone; we were trying to enforce our rules. You can't just call for the rules to be enforced when it suits you.

As far as tolerating homophobia and other bigotries, this is certainly a gray area. What exactly constitutes "hate speech" comes up periodically. It's always a judgement call, since we value a diversity of opinions and want to allow lively yet polite debates. We don't want to allow hate speech, but we also don't want to over-censor or over-stifle debate. It may seem like a black and white issue, but it really isn't.

Also, if anyone sees adult men making suggestive comments to underaged girls (or generally unwanted sexual comments towards anyone of any age), please report it. I have never seen a single post like this reported in the time since I've been a moderator.

Also, moderators cannot delete accounts, so if you are angered by the fact that it hasn't happened yet, it's because we have to wait on an admin.
dormouse is offline  
#108 Old 11-21-2011, 10:23 PM
Veggie Regular
 
das_nut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,130
Can adult women make suggestive comments to underage boys? Or how about adults making suggestive comments towards underage people with the same sex?



(Yep mods, one day I'll get you to endorse gender-neutral rules! One day! *shakes fist* Or I'll get banned first. )
das_nut is offline  
#109 Old 11-21-2011, 10:27 PM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlp View Post

Oh, two more things – when I last communicated with Kiz, she was very gravely ill. I didn’t post anything about it, because I didn’t know the extent to which she wanted it kept in confidence. And Irizary has my e-mail address.

I wish she or her family would update us, I did know about her illness
danakscully64 is offline  
#110 Old 11-22-2011, 05:37 AM
Veggie Regular
 
dormouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,609
Quote:
Originally Posted by das_nut View Post

Can adult women make suggestive comments to underage boys? Or how about adults making suggestive comments towards underage people with the same sex?



(Yep mods, one day I'll get you to endorse gender-neutral rules! One day! *shakes fist* Or I'll get banned first. )

I appreciate the sentiment. I intended for my phrase in parentheses to cover these bases too, but I see now that the sentence still reads as if I'm only talking about adult men. What I mean to say is that if anyone sees or is targeted by any suggestive comments by anyone else, let us know. I know a lot of people here like to flirt with each other, but we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable either. If you're uncomfortable, let us know, and we'll see what we can do about it.
dormouse is offline  
#111 Old 11-22-2011, 08:38 AM
Veggie Regular
 
delicioso's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,945
I'll miss you mlp. Have a good life.
delicioso is offline  
#112 Old 11-22-2011, 11:31 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Scorpius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Pluto (the planet)
Posts: 6,741
Regarding mlp, coming back to the boards after a hiatus to start two threads in the heap about abortion and child molestation/pedophilia is a bit of a recipe for instant burn out.

Just my two cents.

"you know, nowhere in the bible does it say that jesus was not a raptor"


www.animal-adoptions.org

Scorpius is offline  
#113 Old 11-22-2011, 11:33 AM
Veggie Regular
 
unovegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpius View Post

Regarding mlp, coming back to the boards after a hiatus to start two threads in the heap about abortion and child molestation/pedophilia is a bit of a recipe for instant burn out.

Just my two cents.


you may not know her reasons for coming back.

whoops. and leaving.

The Big Bad.
unovegan is offline  
#114 Old 11-22-2011, 11:37 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Scorpius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Pluto (the planet)
Posts: 6,741
Quote:
Originally Posted by unovegan View Post

you may not know her reasons for coming back.

whoops. and leaving.

Gah you changed it right when I was about to quote you!

True, I don't know her reasons for coming back, I assumed that she either wasn't coming back at all, or would at least stick around for a while. I don't really like talking about members who aren't here anymore. It makes me feel weird.

"you know, nowhere in the bible does it say that jesus was not a raptor"


www.animal-adoptions.org

Scorpius is offline  
#115 Old 11-22-2011, 11:39 AM
Veggie Regular
 
unovegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpius View Post

Gah you changed it right when I was about to quote you!

True, I don't know her reasons for coming back, I assumed that she either wasn't coming back at all, or would at least stick around for a while. I don't really like talking about members who aren't here anymore. It makes me feel weird.

that shouldn't be the only reason you feel weird.

no comment. Sometimes things are stated that are just begging for a retort. i now stay out of much of the bs here, but sometimes something is stated that I just have to jump right in.

The Big Bad.
unovegan is offline  
#116 Old 11-22-2011, 11:54 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Pixie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 5,658
I will miss Mlp as I respected her intelligent views (even when I didn't agree with them) and I liked her because she seemed to have a lot of integrity.
Pixie is offline  
#117 Old 11-22-2011, 12:05 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Sevenseas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 25,067
I've had plenty of problems with how VB operates, although it was way worse in the past, when there were meat-eaters (plural) on the moderating team.

But I don't see this latest issue (about cleansing the thread) that Mlp raised as a big deal. It seemed clear to me that it was about her bringing up some unrelated comment(s) from another thread just to beat CG over the head with it/them. Let's not make it into something greater than it is: a personal grudge against the guy who says "'lo" a lot. And I am fine with beating him on the head about it, btw, because his comments were ****ed up. There could just be a better thread for it.

What I find more frustrating is that sometimes it seems the mods are more opposed to thread de-railing when that de-rail is an actual conversation with long posts, rather than when it's just some random chit-chat. To me, the latter should be much more discouraged than the former and not the other way around.

Mlp contributed so much to this board, much more than the vast vast majority of the people here (just take a look at the length of some of her posts, and how many threads she started), and I'm sad to see her gone.

Mlp was also sometimes very mean and snarky and nasty and passive-aggressive. Which makes me even more sad to see her gone.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

Sevenseas is offline  
#118 Old 11-22-2011, 01:05 PM
Veggie Regular
 
das_nut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,130
It gets rather boring to bring up old threads in new threads, just to continue to beat a dead horse.
das_nut is offline  
#119 Old 11-22-2011, 02:33 PM
Veggie Regular
 
dormouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,609
MOD POST

Once again, the personal attacks and responses to them have been removed.


dormouse is offline  
#120 Old 11-22-2011, 03:19 PM
Veggie Regular
 
unovegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by dormouse View Post

MOD POST

Once again, the personal attacks and responses to them have been removed.



Well done Mod. Well done.

The Big Bad.
unovegan is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off