Help, please :'( - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-09-2011, 01:27 PM
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My nephew Gino died a few years ago. I've been generally fine with it, no emotional breakdowns whatsoever... Until today. The song played at his funeral, How To Save A Life by The Frey, came onto the radio whilst I was on the bus home from school, and I just sank to my knees and burst into tears. How can I control this? I've been bursting into tears every few minutes since. All help is appreciated.
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#2 Old 03-09-2011, 01:38 PM
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I'm so sorry. You are grieving. No matter what time has passed. Let it out, talk with someone you trust. It will pass. And may come back again but I think each time will be easier. Don't be ashamed or think you shouldn't have these emotions even years later. It seems you are a sensitive person with a heart. You'll be OK.
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#3 Old 03-09-2011, 01:45 PM
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Thanks, Teresa. I appreciate it.
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#4 Old 03-09-2011, 02:06 PM
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I'm sure you will be ok, it just takes time. I still cry when I hear Cut Here by the Cure, because it came out at the same time as my boyfriend died and it is about the singer Billy MacKenzie who killed himself so I always associate the two. And that's been nearly 10 years now. So it's hard.
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#5 Old 03-09-2011, 02:21 PM
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My sympathies for your loss. You must have loved Gino very much.

"There is more wisdom in the song of a bird, than in the speech of a philosopher...." -Oahspe
"The thing is, you cannot judge a race. Any man who judges by the group is a pea-wit. You take men one at a time." -Buster Kilrain, The Killer Angels -Michael Shaara
"Anyone who doesn't believe in miracles isn't a realist." -Billy Wilder
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#6 Old 03-09-2011, 04:00 PM
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That's the beauty and horror of grief. It's not a controlable process. My best advice is to really FEEL the feelings when they are upon you. If you try to stifle them, they will continue to be there in unpredictable ways. Reach out to others who loved him and talk about him. It's likely that you are not alone.

The opposite of war isn't peace. It's creation!
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#7 Old 03-09-2011, 04:05 PM
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Cry. Allow yourself to really feel it, you may have numbed yourself out. You need a release. It might help to contact a grief counselor.

Good luck.
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#8 Old 03-09-2011, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJMonty View Post

My nephew Gino died a few years ago. I've been generally fine with it, no emotional breakdowns whatsoever... Until today. The song played at his funeral, How To Save A Life by The Frey, came onto the radio whilst I was on the bus home from school, and I just sank to my knees and burst into tears. How can I control this? I've been bursting into tears every few minutes since. All help is appreciated.

I'm very sorry for the loss in your life, you have my sympathy and condolances. Crying is good. It's a part of life, and you are no less a person because of it. We humans have emotions for a reason, and their good reasons. We can't be happy all the time, no matter how much we lie to ourselves, or the media lies to us about happy or joyful being the only emotion to feel.

Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
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#9 Old 03-10-2011, 12:39 AM
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...

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#10 Old 03-10-2011, 08:30 AM
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Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate all your advice.
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