Questions to mull over on a Friday - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-30-2004, 02:55 PM
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1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.



2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...



3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?



5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.



6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.



7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?



8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?



9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?



10. Is there another word for synonym?



11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"



12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?



13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?



14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?



15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?



16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?



17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?



18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?



19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?



20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road

signs?



21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?



22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.



23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?



24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?



25. How is it possible to have a civil war?



26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?



27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?



28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?



29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?



30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?



31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?



32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
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#2 Old 01-30-2004, 03:07 PM
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Buddha hasn'e been calling you for a while Ma?
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#3 Old 01-30-2004, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by mouse View Post




29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?





I've wondered this, too! It seems so cruel!
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#4 Old 01-30-2004, 03:23 PM
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Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
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#5 Old 01-30-2004, 03:41 PM
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Originally Posted by skylark View Post

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

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#6 Old 01-30-2004, 03:55 PM
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Hehe, these are very funny Thanks Mouse!
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#7 Old 01-30-2004, 04:03 PM
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#8 Old 01-30-2004, 04:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freemouse View Post

Buddha hasn'e been calling you for a while Ma?



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#9 Old 01-30-2004, 05:47 PM
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Ha! Funny mouse...I've always wondered about #19 though..
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#10 Old 01-30-2004, 06:20 PM
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Hehe funny stuff.
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#11 Old 01-30-2004, 09:00 PM
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One good turn deserves another....Have a great weekend, everyone!



1. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars

in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet

paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?





2. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?



3. Why do they swab your arm with alcohol before you get a lethal injection?



4. If a fly lands on the ceiling, did it fly upside down to get there?



5. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?



6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?



7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are

going to look up there anyway?



8. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
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