Are you a loser? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-04-2004, 07:23 PM
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What makes a person a "loser"?



I feel that I am. I have almost no friends in RL (1 that lives on the other side of town as me that I see 1-3x a year b/c we don't have cars, but email often, 1 I work with and am "friendly" with, 1 that I used to work with, who I see 1-3x a year b/c he travels 75% of the time for work, and my BF), I rarely do anything that doesn't involve a) the internet b) geeky things (like my bf and I venting about world affairs, discussing his interest in nanotechnology, our love of trees, etc) c) discussing children d) whining that I hate my roommates e) writing f) movies.



I listen to people my age, who are out partying all the time, who have scores of friends, who have spur-of-the-moment parties at their houses. I don't have that. I would love to have dinner parties, but no one seems to ever want to have them with me. It's sometimes difficult to not be a little sad over it.



However, I would assume that, since this is the internet, there are other losers like me on the board, whose entire social life is based on this place
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#2 Old 01-04-2004, 07:29 PM
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i think i am a total loser. i do not have friends here--other than one living with us. i do not have anyone to talk to most days except my husband, kids and the lady at the store checkout. i would not fit into a mothers group or many others. i feel pretty introverted, but love talking to others. i just usually dont. no parties to go to, no people to have over--very isolating. totally sucks. i think i have a big "L" tattoed on my forehead!! and i rarely post here as with real life i dont want MORE people thinking i am a loser!! how sad is that?
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#3 Old 01-04-2004, 07:32 PM
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Yes, I had a long phase whereby the only people who would talk to me where the store checkout people. I used to go to a bunch of stores, spend like $2 at each one, just so I could talk to someone. I was that lonely. Rather sad, now that I think of it. Aren't there intervention groups designed to help people like that? Well, that just depressed me....
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#4 Old 01-04-2004, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

Yes, I had a long phase whereby the only people who would talk to me where the store checkout people. I used to go to a bunch of stores, spend like $2 at each one, just so I could talk to someone. I was that lonely. Rather sad, now that I think of it. Aren't there intervention groups designed to help people like that? Well, that just depressed me....

i would hate talking to them, even tho they were my only adult contact of the day!! now whos a loser? not that it is a contest--and definitely not one i wanna win! dont know about intervention groups, but there are many groups to join. check your local paper, or meetups. i dunno.
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#5 Old 01-04-2004, 07:41 PM
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the loser competition



The day time groups I can't go to b/c I work. The night time ones I can't go to b/c the buses don't go to most of the areas of town...or I don't have anything in common with the Senior's Quilting Square or AA. I wonder...can I just go to AA meetings for the snacks?



I tried a couple places to volunteer but without a car, it makes it very difficult to volunteer at night.



Well, I guess I'll just accept that VB is my social life and pretend like that is something to be proud of



Wanna be my new best friend, smedley?
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#6 Old 01-04-2004, 07:48 PM
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At least you two live with someone else you can talk to. I live alone. Have no BF/SO. Sometimes I go an entire day and not exchange words with another human being..... Usually by the time I make friends somewhere I move. I have a neighbor Im friends with. Im on a first name basis with the entire staff at my Vet's. and I have a couple other friends I rarely see now. But that's about it.
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#7 Old 01-04-2004, 07:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

the loser competition



The day time groups I can't go to b/c I work. The night time ones I can't go to b/c the buses don't go to most of the areas of town...or I don't have anything in common with the Senior's Quilting Square or AA. I wonder...can I just go to AA meetings for the snacks?



I tried a couple places to volunteer but without a car, it makes it very difficult to volunteer at night.



Well, I guess I'll just accept that VB is my social life and pretend like that is something to be proud of



Wanna be my new best friend, smedley?



a competition i never really wanted to be in!! i will definitely be your new best friend!!



i just struggle with interacting with others--i know i limit myself in some ways with all my nutjob issues, but other things are not due to that!! like those groups or similar things. i dread when my kids are in school as i will havfe to talk to other parents who will undoubtedly hate me for many reasons!!
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#8 Old 01-04-2004, 07:51 PM
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I used to live alone w/o a job and no money. That was really hard. I admit that I spent too many of those days crying on the sofa. None of my neighbours would talk to me, my husband and I broke up, it was horrid. I'm so thankful for my cats; at least they used to talk back to me.
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#9 Old 01-04-2004, 07:52 PM
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nutjob? oh please share....
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#10 Old 01-04-2004, 07:56 PM
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Im not crying on the sofa. I used to sit on my bed and cry in the dark. But then I started therapy and that helped. Im OK not being around loads of people, in fact more than three other people in my house makes me uncomfortable. Id just really like to have an SO to talk to and well, do ther things with



But, I simply refuse to settle for someone that isnt right for me. Thats how I ended up divorced the first time.



An old (guy) friend called today. I was pleased to hear from him. Thought maybe hed missed us hanging out. Nope. Hes in love. Wants me to help him paint his bathroom though.
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#11 Old 01-04-2004, 08:02 PM
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Krista wwas a therapist in her former life

Shes really good at it!
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#12 Old 01-04-2004, 08:14 PM
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Oh, I'm definitely a loser. I don't have that many close friends. I mean, I get along with people at my school, but I rarely invite people over or anything. I don't see my friends outside of school really. And one of my best friends at school is my French teacher.



I've only had one boyfriend, but that's okay, considering I'm 16. He's still one of my good friends I don't get crushes on the guys at my school. I hope this doesn't sound egotistical or anything, but I simply don't have anything in common with them - I don't share interests with most people my age.



I stay home, and do other stuff - read, crosswords, Internet, VB, crafts, artsy stuff, etc. I've never been to a *real* party. I do live with my parents though, and have a wonderful big brother



So, yup, me = loser
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#13 Old 01-04-2004, 08:15 PM
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krista, your life sounds a lot like mine (minus talking about kids-- we don't like them). I used to feel like a loser because I was so different from everyone else, but I have realized I don't enjoy the things other people do. I hate bars, I hate going out in public as a general rule, and for the most part I don't relate well to most people (my trip back home, which I returned from yesterday has reinforced that even further.) Just because I don't like what most people consider to be "normal" doesn't make me a loser. In fact, I think society's ideas about what is normal and what is fun are pretty f'ed up. Thank heavens I have my SO. We both like nothing better than cooking up a good veg*n meal, then sitting and watching a rented movie with the three cats piled around us.
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#14 Old 01-04-2004, 08:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggrl View Post

Krista wwas a therapist in her former life

Shes really good at it!



Yeah, now I need one I did once consider going to AA meetings nextdoor b/c they had snacks and I had no food. Instead, I called my ex husband and begged him for money. Considering he got off with everything from the divorce, I felt he owed me



meatless, I never liked kids until I started dating my bf. I still don't like them, but they do grow on you. Like a fungus. When you're never around them, most people don't like them. BUt once you're forced to be, they actually become...likeable. Just FYI. If you never, ever want them, don't ever be around them hehe



Cissy, I hate to break it to you, but my "best" friends in school were my teachers. It's all over for you, dear. Take up drinking now, so you'll be able to cope later
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#15 Old 01-04-2004, 08:48 PM
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Wow. I was going to post my story but Cissy already did. I've never really been on the same plane as people my age (which may actually be a good thing) so I have lots of "acquaintances" but no real friends. My brother used to be cool but now he's gone to college and has become a condescending bum. And I definitely rock the crosswords. But mostly I spend my time at debate practice, or Tae Kwon Do, or orchestra rehearsal, or practicing piano or oboe, almost all of which are social activities. So I socialize, but just not when it's unorganized. Something like that. In other words, I'm in loser denial but that's okay. I think of myself more as a dork, which for some reason is more bearable to me, I guess it's cute and indearing in a dorkish kind of way. Yeah. Go dorks!



(Did I just say, go dorks? Oh dear lord.)



~Mollie~
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#16 Old 01-04-2004, 08:57 PM
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*Raises hand* Yes.. yes.. I am a loser
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#17 Old 01-04-2004, 09:04 PM
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Hmm, I can certainly relate to this thread. I have 2 friends from high school who I rarely see or talk to anymore. One moved to a different state, the other to a different country. Volunteering at my animal shelter is about as exciting as my social life gets. I'm friendly with the volunteers there, but for some reason I haven't clicked with anyone friendship-wise. I get along well with my boss and coworkers, but they're acquaintances. We don't communicate outside of work.



I don't like doing things that people my age do: I hate going to clubs and bars, don't like parties. I'm an introvert, so interacting with alot of people wears me out. I also have moderate social anxiety disorder, so going out can be stressful, even if it's a trip to the grocery store



Fortunately I live with my SO, and he doesn't go out much either. It doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me, though. He doesn't understand why I sometimes get depressed about my lack of a social life when I don't like going out in the first place. I don't understand it either!
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#18 Old 01-04-2004, 09:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggrl View Post

Krista wwas a therapist in her former life

Shes really good at it!

i did therapy in my former life. sob sob all those proffessional people and the way they dressed/interacted. sob sob
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#19 Old 01-04-2004, 09:07 PM
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Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

nutjob? oh please share....

oh i got issues all over the place. that is not what this thread is about and in order to keep away from mod's redirecting me, just let me know if ya want me to start a "why smedley is such a nutjob" thread!! and i do love all the mods for all they do--we all need redirecting at some point!! wink wink, nod nod
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#20 Old 01-04-2004, 09:25 PM
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I'm cool with this being a nutjob thread. I started the thread; I'm cool with it
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#21 Old 01-04-2004, 09:28 PM
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Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

I'm cool with this being a nutjob thread. I started the thread; I'm cool with it

k--lemme know what realm you want me to expand on my nutjob issues kristadb!! they are all over!
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#22 Old 01-04-2004, 09:33 PM
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*raises hand* I am a loser.



I read textbooks on 16th century England for fun during the summer. That, alone, is enough to make me a loser. I also watch The Wiggle religiously, have 95% of my real-life friends in orchestra with me (orch dorch powah), I obsess over fictional characters, I have never been to a boy/girl party, and I live and breathe art.



Yessiree, I am a loser. \\m/
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#23 Old 01-04-2004, 09:35 PM
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that's harsh!
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#24 Old 01-04-2004, 09:37 PM
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Ooh, what do you play, meo?



Btw, azalea, that's a rockin new avatar. You always have cool avatars.



~Mollie~
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#25 Old 01-04-2004, 09:39 PM
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I play viola. 4 1/2 years now.
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#26 Old 01-04-2004, 09:47 PM
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Thanks Mollie



It's my second avatar ever... I had the other one for ages (ever since VegWeb), but then after it got blurry, I decided to change it alltogether, because adjusting it to the new avatar size didn't work out all that well. So this is from a newer drawing.



Right. Off topic



I played the flute for 7 years
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#27 Old 01-04-2004, 09:47 PM
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Ditto on whatever everyone else said and add that to the fact that 90% of all of the interaction I have with other people is with those 10 and under... yah, I'm a loser!



we should have a loser smiley with an L on its head!
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#28 Old 01-04-2004, 09:48 PM
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That's awesome. Viola is such a random instrument, i think - I mean, what would drive somebody to pick the viola instead of violin...? It's a gorgeous instrument though. Kind of like alto voices. So much cooler than soprano. Which is probably why I like english horn better than oboe as well. But I think my oboe is going to be mad at me for saying that so Shhh!!! Don't tell it.



~Mollie~
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#29 Old 01-04-2004, 10:23 PM
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If a person who doesn't socialize that much and doesn't have a lot of friends qualifies as a loser, I guess I'm one. I have one real friend, no SO and a few people I can have a chat with. Plus family. After that, I have my art, the internet, TV and my DVD player. And candy.



I don't like the word loser though... it's ok if I call myself that, but I hate it whenever anybody accuses anybody else of being one, I get all upset! Dunno why... maybe just cuz I know I'm not an actual loser. I prefer the word geek
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#30 Old 01-04-2004, 10:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

Cissy, I hate to break it to you, but my "best" friends in school were my teachers. It's all over for you, dear. Take up drinking now, so you'll be able to cope later



Heh... yeah, I get along with them way better than people my age. Drinking would be bad though... addictive personality
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