Should I Stay or Should I Go (at vet job)? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 08-27-2009, 08:42 AM
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Hey All,





Sorry this is so long but please read and comment



I currently work at a 24 hour emergency vet clinic and have done for about a year. I love the staff and the interaction with the animals but have always have an issue with my boss, rather, she has an issue with me.



She is not in the office very often (few times a week) but when she is there is always a comment or mean spirited word for me. (then she is randomly happy to praise me on something i did ...???)



She doesn't like that I am vegan, she doesn't like how I treat my husband (She believes he is vegetarian because I am vegan and she is appeasing me... he isnt..lol) and I honestly believe she thinks I am not good enough for him. She buys him little gifts such as cheese, different types of foods, etc (they are both from Europe so she relates I think), but she never does those things for me. She comments about things I do outside work for fun and she tells me I need a hobby, etc.



To make matters worse, the bookkeeper I work with, who is usually sweet to me and refers to me as her "other daughter" joins in with my boss when the boss is in. She will make comments with the boss or she will bring up percieved flaws that I know the boss would dive on. The bookeeper has a very strong need to look good in the bosses eyes and to be seen as "alpha", etc so I can understand why she does it when the boss is around.



Anyway, I spoke with my husband about the situation and she said he definately notices how she makes these comments. The following morning after this conversation, I recieved a call from a company that has been directed to contact me for my skills. (I worked in contract relations and quality assurance for years prior to my current job and was excellent at what I did) Anyway they had heard from other people in the industry that I was someone to track down and offer a job! This was very flattering since I was feeling low about my current job.



I left the industry because I had the opportunity to work closer with animals while being an executive assistant to the owners for 4 clinics. I thought it would be a good mix, and if my boss was nice, then it would be.



I could use some opinions on whether I should be looking into the new opportunity or if I should stick it out for awhile?



If i shift to a new job I would need to ensure I still had time in march to go to England with my hubby (visiting his family) and I would loose my bonus which I was planning to use to pay for the tickets....



It's a lot on my mind and would love some perspective.



Kindest Regards,



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#2 Old 08-27-2009, 11:01 AM
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If there is some hostility there you have to question how that will affect your advancement within the company. Will you be able to move up and develop if you have a boss that is trying to keep you down? Will you get raises in compensation that accurately reflect your contribution to the organization? Snide comments like these aren't appropriate from a supervisor. You need to know exactly where you stand with the people who evaluate and reward your performance.



You don't want to end up in a situation 5 or 10 years down the line and realize that you didn't advance as much as you could because of some petty thinking on the part of your boss. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to jump to a different team.

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#3 Old 08-27-2009, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mojo View Post

If there is some hostility there you have to question how that will affect your advancement within the company. Will you be able to move up and develop if you have a boss that is trying to keep you down? Will you get raises in compensation that accurately reflect your contribution to the organization? Snide comments like these aren't appropriate from a supervisor. You need to know exactly where you stand with the people who evaluate and reward your performance.



You don't want to end up in a situation 5 or 10 years down the line and realize that you didn't advance as much as you could because of some petty thinking on the part of your boss. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to jump to a different team.



Hey Mojo,



Thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate them.



In regards to advancement, there is nothing to advance to. I am the executive Assistant to the owners of the clinics, so I really am where I am...



I completely agree about negativity affecting me, it bothers me a lot. I am going to meet with the other company and see what they are offering, perhaps it's better for me and if not, there was no harm in looking.



Kindest regards & thank you!



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#4 Old 08-27-2009, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mojo View Post

If there is some hostility there you have to question how that will affect your advancement within the company. Will you be able to move up and develop if you have a boss that is trying to keep you down? Will you get raises in compensation that accurately reflect your contribution to the organization? Snide comments like these aren't appropriate from a supervisor. You need to know exactly where you stand with the people who evaluate and reward your performance.



You don't want to end up in a situation 5 or 10 years down the line and realize that you didn't advance as much as you could because of some petty thinking on the part of your boss. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to jump to a different team.



+1



It seems a really hard decision to make, but try not to think in short-term (money for tickets and so, because you and you husband can find a solution... and, anyway, you'll have more opportunities to visit his familly for sure in the future).

So, I think that the best is to try to think long-term (opportunities of career evolution, benefits for your relationship of changing job in long-term, etc) and then decide according the pros and cons.



I wish you'll clarify yourself soon
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#5 Old 08-27-2009, 11:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganTigress View Post


I completely agree about negativity affecting me, it bothers me a lot. I am going to meet with the other company and see what they are offering, perhaps it's better for me and if not, there was no harm in looking.



Do it! I'm sure it'll help your decision
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#6 Old 08-27-2009, 12:04 PM
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Thanks Sophia, I think I will. it's just a hard situation.



Thanks for the positive thoughts!



Kindest Regards,



VeganTigress

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#7 Old 08-27-2009, 12:09 PM
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You're welcome



And good luck for the interview!
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#8 Old 08-27-2009, 12:27 PM
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I can see how it is taking a toll on you? Have you ever told your boss how you feel? If you love your job, besides your boss, maybe you should talk to her and let her know how her immaturity make you feel. It also seems like she is telling you "omg you're not good enough for your husband" and she is giving him cheeses and other things......I don't know if this is drama I am thinking about (She may want him haha) but either way, it seems fishy. Not that you have to worry, it just seems weird.



I am not so good at advice but good luck with whatever you decide!

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#9 Old 08-27-2009, 02:01 PM
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Yeah, buying presents for your husband and saying he is too good for you raises huge red flags. That is really weird behaviour.

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#10 Old 08-27-2009, 03:23 PM
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I completely agree it is odd. She has not told me directly that he is too good for me but she implies it heavily when I talk about it. An example is that Ian does most of the cooking and I love it. She will then say "So you MAKE him do all the cooking?!". She acts like I control him, which couldn't be further from the truth.



She seems to have an issue with me on a personal level. I got a 5 grand raise from her after 3 months of work but the whole time she was this way with me. I at first thought maybe she was just guarded about me being her new assistant and thought she would warm up when she spent time with me but it hasn't changed, in fact it is worse.



It's very odd....



Thanks to everyone for their opinions, I really needed an outside opinion incase I was over reacting...



Thanks Kindly,



VeganTigress

May you be held in compassion.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May you be at peace.

My Blog: www.allie4animals.wix.com/veganliving
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