I'm staying home from work today. Not because I'm physically ill, though. I'm going through a hard emotional time right now. My dog, Bruno, cannot walk & I've been without him for two days now. He has to stay at the vet's office until he can walk again. My vet seems optimistic about it, but I know there's a chance that he won't be able to walk again, which only gives me one option. I'm having a hard time eating, have to take sleeping pills to sleep & am a ball of nerves.
I'm trying to do things to get this off my mind, but it's not working. I visited him yesterday and held him. He was so happy to see me, but I could tell that he was very unhappy being there. My heart feels like it's being ripped out right now. I drove all the way to work today & just felt ill. I just couldn't go in and spend another day trying not to cry & work like normal. So, I ended up turning around & coming home.
The worst part is that this is all my fault. We brought him with us to hike up to a tower on Sunday. He's got hip dysplasia, and although it's mild, I think I pushed it too far by having him climb so much. I feel like such a horrible person. Now the nerves in his spine are messed up & our only hope is that steroid shots will make him better.
My boss won't understand, either, so I'll probably get talked to when I go back to work. I don't really care about that, though. I just want my Bruno to be better. I want him home & happy.
I wish that I could sleep at the vet's office just to be with him. Thinking of him in a cage all alone is just heartbreaking. He's been through some very tough times with me & I feel like I'm abandoning him at his worst time.
I'm not quite sure why I'm posting this. Guess I just need to vent. I'm trying to stay postive, but it's just not working.
Please, someone give me some words of reason in this.