Thanks for the post sushikat8! Mental problems and depression are really common in Finland, it's the leading cause for work incompetence retirement. Both my parents quit working at their fifties few years ago, because of health problems (mom has moderate depression, dad fibromyalgia). Suicides are common in Finland, one in 2000 men and one in 8000 women die from suicide. Especially young men are in danger.
The way that I've decided to look at it is, I am who I am... I have good days and bad days as does everyone. If people have a problem with it or can't understand why I can't just "snap myself out of it" by exercising or taking medication or whatever, then I don't even bother explaining it to them.
The problem is that I cannot be without thinkin about other people. I've lived for appearance only my whole life. As a child of very dysfunctional family I grew early on to always think before I speak and say the things that people want to hear. I do like to criticize things, but only in classes etc. I don't know me really. I know my opinions and some things that I feel that have brought me happiness, but I feel empty all the time. I was never loved, I don't know what love is. I cannot ever truly love anyone, maybe my bestfriend because we grew up together and we know each other pretty well and have similar things in common, but that's all. I feel compassion for my fiance, but I'm not sure if what I feel is love, because I don't really know it. I have more compassion for far away people and animals than those that share my life. I can be sad about the death of people I see on the magazine, but cannot understand the "down days" my fiance has.
I study social work, so we are expected to be somekind of superheroes. We cannot be overly emotional, but we have to have sympathy. We have to work with serious problems that people face in their everyday life, but yet we cannot ever show a weakness ourselves. If one has a psychological disorder, then they cannot get a job in the social work since it's required to pass a physical exam. If you tell that you have depression, game over. They will not hire you. That's why I waited for so long, but I feel so sick and tired that I just don't feel like caring for that anymore. But, still it hurts.
If I need to miss class and sleep in until 2 some days, then I'm going to do it...If I have to ask for an extension on a class assignment, then I will... If someone asks me to go out with them and I don't feel like it, then I'll tell them I need some me time.
I would love to be able to do that. But our school requires that we attend every class except one for the courses we take, if I miss more than one its bye bye to that course. I have recently given back some essays late, but I cannot keep on doing that for long because the teachers cannot favor anyone. All our courses are pretty much group works, so if I feel too tired of doing the work, others will suffer. It all feels just too overwhelming. That's why I think that I need time off. Perhaps if I would study in some other school, I could take classes more slowly. But my school doesn't work like that. It's either you study full-time or you take sick leave. There is no middle way. And I cannot get a job either, every time I have a summer job I cry hopelessly at the floor after workday because I feel like I cannot take it anymore. I only go to work because I have to and because people expect it from me. I'm not sure if I will be truly feeling so well that I could be working full-time. At least now, it seems like the worst possible nightmare for me.
Sorry about the depressive reply to your post, but I guess we depressed people are like that.