I woud agree with what everyone else is saying that while it may seem like a lot of calories, you really aren't taking in that much.
Also, I'm sorry if this is taken wrong, but when you say things like "lots of cinnamon and cloves" and emphasizing the size of your salad, all of these things contain very little calories, especially the cinnamon. Have you been trying to lose weight in the past? If on a long term diet, someone's general idea of portion sizes and whatnot tends to get kind of skewed.
I hope I dont offend you in any way, but I used to be anorexic, and some of the things you're saying remind me of how I used to be. I would emphasize eating huge amounts of food, albeit lower calorie food, to make myself feel like I was eating normally as well as to pass it off when others would ask me. But I've since had to more than triple what I eat to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.
If you truly want to boost up your caloric intake without much volume, use oils and things like peanut/almond butter and tahini. Don't buy low fat products, just pack it in. Use margarine in your oatmeal, like someone said. Add sliced almonds to your salads, snack on some cashews while you're at it. Just focus on calorie dense things, not lighter fare.
I'm just worried that you might not be eating as much as you think, or worse not as much as you're telling us. With regard to what your mother is saying, often the truth in any given situation lies somewhere between the two opposing arguments, both of you have credibility, I seriously doubt she would just be attacking you about this kind of subject if she had no basis for it.
Again, I hope this doesn't offend you, I'm just speaking from experience.