Egg Donation - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-20-2003, 08:43 PM
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I'm thinking about donating my eggs. No, not the kind with white shells that come out of chickens. I want to help out an infertile couple. I have to wait a few more months though, because I have to be at least 21. Then I have to get chosen... based on my health history and genetic background. I think I qualify! Wouldn't that be fun? Has anyone else had this experience or knew someone who donated their eggs? I think it would be neat. And I would feel like a good person. I would help bring a child into the world, and I'd get some compensation for it. You can get a few thousand dollars from it. What do you think?
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#2 Old 06-20-2003, 08:48 PM
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that would honestly freak me out, to have another couple bring.. well.. my child into the world. is there really a shortage of egg donors? it's pretty surprising to me that with all the children up for adoption, people would rather choose this method.
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#3 Old 06-20-2003, 09:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by stonecrest

that would honestly freak me out, to have another couple bring.. well.. my child into the world. is there really a shortage of egg donors? it's pretty surprising to me that with all the children up for adoption, people would rather choose this method.



I don't think it would freak me out because I would know the child is in good hands. Besides... why does my genetic connection to it make that much difference?



It's probably harder to adopt financially. And also, the couple may want at least SOME connection to the child- through the father's sperm. Maybe the wife would like to carry the child herself and give birth to it. For some reason these factors are important to people. The genetic connection really doesnt' make that much difference to me.
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#4 Old 06-20-2003, 09:09 PM
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I thought about doing it very briefly. I decided that I didn't want to take the hormones and fertility drugs that you have to take in order to super-ovulate.
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#5 Old 06-20-2003, 09:47 PM
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I had a friend who donated her eggs. She was in desperate need of money at the time and met the popular requirements (blond hair, blue eyes, average to taller height, college education - and to make things even better, she already had a daughter, so the couple could see what her kid looked like.) She hated doing all the hormone injections. She called me up right after she came home from getting the procedure done - she said it was really painful and she'd never do it again.
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#6 Old 06-20-2003, 09:47 PM
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I saw a story on this, but with the males donating sperm. The children, grown up some wanted to look up their "real" father.



If you were to donate your eggs, are you also willing to have someone look you up say in 18-20 years wanting to know their biological mother.



That is something to really think about.
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#7 Old 06-21-2003, 01:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by lucycat

She called me up right after she came home from getting the procedure done - she said it was really painful and she'd never do it again.



Painful how? I've heard that actually retriving the eggs is very similar to a pap smear. Those are no big deal at all.
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#8 Old 06-21-2003, 01:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muzicfan



If you were to donate your eggs, are you also willing to have someone look you up say in 18-20 years wanting to know their biological mother.



That is something to really think about.



Tell me, why would you think this is a bad thing? I'm just curious how this could be dangerous considering that legally I'd have no responsibilities whatsoever.
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#9 Old 06-21-2003, 07:17 AM
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YOu're right, I think your case is very different than a young woman who gets pregnant and gives the child up for adoption. Then the child always wonders why their birth mother got 'rid' of them. In your case, you'd be someone who helped. But it may happen that in 20 years, a child might want to get to know you, either to get a medical history or just have a relationship with you.

I think it's an awesome thing to do, although I don't know about procedures. Good luck and let us know what happens.
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#10 Old 06-21-2003, 09:12 AM
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I've heard they're painful as well. When I was 22ish (over ten years ago), I was in desperate need and thought about it for a time. So I did some research into the proceedure and found it is actually painful. It's something to really consider. At 21 for instance you may not feel any 'ties' to this genetic offspring, but even though you may not believe this at present, your perspective on life actually changes as you age. You really need to consider the ethics of it....it may seem 'neat' at present and if that is your final decision, I'll be supportive of it. But I also agree with the others...



There are SO MANY children out there that need adopting (REALLY NEED IT) that bringing yet another one into the world that you aren't yourself gonna be responsible for seems almost ludicrous. Plus people who do this kind of thing (i mean the people who are paying for it) are spending all sorts of money to acheive this end. When they could actually spend the money on addopting and caring for an underpriveledged child...or give the money to a charity which would benefit so MANY people other than themselves. Now while I can't choose how someone else spends all that money (this proceedure costs a LOT) I can choose if I'm going to support it.



I guess I just have a problem with people who are THIS obsessed with having a pregnancy at any cost. My sister is thankfully coming to terms with the fact that she may not have children after all, and starting to think about addoption...which I think is a more sensible solution to wanting children.



Good luck though with your decision.



B
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#11 Old 06-21-2003, 09:30 AM
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My comments on this come from a woman who has never been pregnant and will never be pregnant. B4S-If you can help a couple bring life into this world and complete their family, bless you. Please do. It's not obsessive at all for a woman to want to be pregnant with a child. I'd say that for most women that can't conceive through intercourse for whatever reason, it is heartbreaking. It's something I still haven't gotten over; don't believe I ever will. If I could have experienced giving life through egg donation I would have in a heartbeat. Women that have children already can't relate to how it feels. Sure, you can try to imagine but you'll never really know how deep the pain runs. Nurturing a child is a part of it but not the whole picture. Adoption is a great idea, but it still isn't the same as actually being pregnant and going through the whole process. Good for you B4S for donating your eggs and giving a priceless experience to another woman.
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#12 Old 06-21-2003, 11:04 AM
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You're right ruthieb, those of us who can have children don't know what it's like to be amoung those who can't. The closest example i have is my sister. My organs apparently work correctly and hers don't. Who knows why? I've been with her through all her efforts and I know from having been there that it is indeed heartbreaking for her.



I'm not saying the woman should simply 'get over it'...but rather, accept that it is part of her existence possibly? That perhaps there are reasons behind these things? And that there ARE lots of children out there who need a good family.



My sister has been through already, a lot of treatments...for a while becoming obsessed to the point it was all she ever thought about. And while I understood, it also made me sad, because she has so much to offer the world (outside of being a Mom...that for it to take up SO much of her energy seemed a waste of her time...to me). I spoke with her last week and she seemed to have really found peace with it. To have found some streingth within herself to be able to say, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. She said she will not be persuing any other fertility options besides the hormones she is already taking. And she will continue to try and convince her husband that addopting is a good idea. I was so proud of her for puting this pain in it's place.



But you're right, I'll never know what that was like. It still doesn't change my opinion however, that there are already too many children out there in need. No, it doesn't give a woman the 'whole' experience...but i have a friend who was childless and has addopted not one but two children who were born of young (not ready) mothers. She wouldn't trade those children for anything...and she is also at peace with the fact that by blood, they aren't hers. In all other ways, they are.



B
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#13 Old 06-21-2003, 02:17 PM
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That would scare me too. There could be some child walking around that is your own. Yes you're helping another person but that child is yours and that's the scary part.
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#14 Old 06-21-2003, 02:27 PM
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i went thru many rounds of in vitro. you have to give youself many shots a day in various places. not fun. you are produv=cing many many egs as a result and you may feel super bloated in your abdomen--like when you have to pee really really bad--it was so bad for me i found it uncomfortable to stand upright at times. when they harvest the eggs they do it by sticking a needle thru the vaginal wall. now they give you a local anesthia for this--however you better hope they gauge correctly just how much to give you. they messed up a couple of times with me and it was not enough and i was in tremendous pain. after all that you may not have any eggs at all. if you do, they may not be good enough--they only use the best ones according to the quality. not to scare you--but it is not a walk in the park.
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#15 Old 06-21-2003, 09:12 PM
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how do you know it would be the same as in vitro? I don't see why they'd have to stick a needle through the vaginal wall. It seems to me they'd just have to use an instrument to capture the eggs through the cervix. I also read that they use ultra-sound to help find them.
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#16 Old 06-21-2003, 10:33 PM
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You really need to find out as much info as possible. It is highly invasive. It is also very time consuming. You go through the same egg gathering procedure as a woman who is going to do in vitro bc that is the way they retrieve eggs in general (there is nothing different between a donor and an mother doing in vitro). They are going to fertilize your eggs in vitro. So maybe read some personal accounts of women who have done in vitro.



You may want to consider some ethical and legal issues as well. they are going to fertilize more than one egg and then select a few to implant. If more than one successfully starts growing, they may selectively abort some of the embryos/fetuses. Plus, there will be left over embryos that wern't implanted and will end up in a freezer (and left over eggs perhaps.) Who do you want to have legal rights to those left over embryos and or eggs? What if they save some for later and implant them 10 years later, 10 years later when perhaps you no longer want them to grow anymore of your offspring? Do you want the couple to have rights to donate the leftovers to yet another couple? To pour them down the drain? You will have to draw up a contract. I suggest getting a lawyer.



If you do this, do this bc you want to help, not for the money, bc they will not give you enough money for it to be worth it, IMO.
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#17 Old 06-21-2003, 11:37 PM
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I went to a website of an agency for this, and they went over the typical proceedings... they mentioned that you get your own lawyer, and the couple actually pays the lawyer bill for you. That's all I remember from that.



Hmm.. you all bring up very interesting points and yes I will look into all that and give it thought. I have a lot of time still. I think each donor's experience is different depending on many factors. Besides... I might not even be chosen. I'm only 5'4" with brown hair. That's not highly called for, now is it?
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#18 Old 06-22-2003, 05:30 PM
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Short people rule! Don't worry about that. If a couple is that picky on the height of the child, they don't deserve your egg! IMO
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