You're right ruthieb, those of us who can have children don't know what it's like to be amoung those who can't. The closest example i have is my sister. My organs apparently work correctly and hers don't. Who knows why? I've been with her through all her efforts and I know from having been there that it is indeed heartbreaking for her.
I'm not saying the woman should simply 'get over it'...but rather, accept that it is part of her existence possibly? That perhaps there are reasons behind these things? And that there ARE lots of children out there who need a good family.
My sister has been through already, a lot of treatments...for a while becoming obsessed to the point it was all she ever thought about. And while I understood, it also made me sad, because she has so much to offer the world (outside of being a Mom...that for it to take up SO much of her energy seemed a waste of her time...to me). I spoke with her last week and she seemed to have really found peace with it. To have found some streingth within herself to be able to say, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. She said she will not be persuing any other fertility options besides the hormones she is already taking. And she will continue to try and convince her husband that addopting is a good idea. I was so proud of her for puting this pain in it's place.
But you're right, I'll never know what that was like. It still doesn't change my opinion however, that there are already too many children out there in need. No, it doesn't give a woman the 'whole' experience...but i have a friend who was childless and has addopted not one but two children who were born of young (not ready) mothers. She wouldn't trade those children for anything...and she is also at peace with the fact that by blood, they aren't hers. In all other ways, they are.