Bethanie- Its near to impossible for me to keep treats out of the house, only because I'm 17, I live at home, and my parents and little sister are all junk food junkies! I made my Mom hide the peanut butter from me.....I won't buy any more vegan treats, but sometimes there's bound to be things in the house.
Me and food, thats a can of worms that I don't even like to open. My parents have always used fod as a treat, as entertainment, as comfort, ect.ect., and so naturally, I followed in suit. All my life, since first grade, I was chubby and felt awful about it, and as a young child I was teased about being a pig. Then, as I got older, I always felt fat and gross and I was always out of shape.
For awhile I cleaned up my act, started working out and eating well, with occasional splurges. It seems in the last....month or two maybe, my relationship with food has grown nuerotic once again.
I don't abuse food to make me feel better like I used to, but there is still an issue. . Sometimes when I get yelled at by my Dad or nagged at, or I'm stressed or in some sort of conflict, my first instinct is to make myself feel better with food. That is something I have tried to both recognize and overcome. Right now I fear I'm eating too much all the time- my clothes reflect this, I'm gaining weight. Yet I'm eating a normal amount of food, in my opinion, enough to keep me full throughout the day. Another problem is that I try to starve myself for periods of time, and then when I give in, I eat too much. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to eat right, I'm trying to be thin and healthy and all those things, but I'm failing.
Today I've had two bowls of oatmeal ( I can't keep away from this stuff, I'm telling you!), a few vanilla cookies, some canned corn, and three pitas with a veggie hotdog. Thats 1000 calories, its noon, and I've gone and blown it once again.
I'm feeling a little discouraged.