Mayu- Have you thrown the laxatives out yet? If you haven't go uipstairs right now and do it. Don't hurt yourself honey
Cissy- good luck at the doctors. I hope they find out what's wrong so you can start to eat noramally again
PB- It definately shows something that you were able to stop yourself. It's okay to backslide a little every now and then, don't beat yourself up. You've ben eating well for three months, that is great!
Okay, I thought I was recovered, and this week has proved most definately am not. My weight has gone up so much since last monday. It definately is not healthy to put on that much weight in 7 daays. It's definately not going to have the same effect as if I could put numbers, but think of how much weight its healthy to lose a week and then multiply it by how many weeks are in a month, you'll get the idea. And its not water weight, since I weighed myself this morning before I had really eaten anything.
The thing is, I don't care about the weight. I care about the fact that yesterday I ate as much as a normal person eats in two or three days, and I not only felt like I was going to die from stomach pains, but also like, why can't I control myself? What right do I have to be eating all this food when little kids twelve miles away in the city won't be having dinner tonight? It just makes you feel even worse.
I'm so tired of this eating disorder business. I was talking with a friend on friday, and we were reminiscing about when I could eat cheese, and all of these memories just came flooding back about how when I was younger my parents would buy handisnacks or bags of doritos from the bulk stores (like CUb foods or Sams clubs, you know the type) and I remember I would eat them incessantly and I could go through a box of like, 48 bags in a 5 days. SO now not only am I feeling down, but I'm soooo incredibly confused, because I really don't know the cause behind my ED. What could possibly cause an ED when you're 8 years old?! Ack, sorry for writing a novel everyone, I'm just a bit of a mess mentally right now (although today is going pretty well, haven't binged on bread yet, which seems to be my new thing) and it is so great of you all to listen, so thank you thank you thank from the bottom of my heart