Bit of a whine, feel free to ignore (feeling old and crap) - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 08-17-2009, 02:56 PM
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Hum, if I get up in time, I think I'm going to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I'm exhausted all the time and this past week I've been sleeping nearly 18 hours a day. I can't get anything done because once I've been up and moving for more than a couple of hours, I need to go back to sleep again. I couldn't give blood a few months ago because my iron levels were too low, so it could very well be that I'm just a bit anaemic, but my brain is just so full of crap all the time. Mostly because I have nothing to do, but even when I was working last year, I put on a better show but my brain was still angry at me.



I don't know, I don't think I'm depressed, I need a job and some friends. I think a lot of the thoughts I have are just force of habit. Right now, it's been just over since I've had a job and I'm turning 24 next week. Not old at all, I know, but I really haven't achieved anything since I was 18, never been in a relationship, never had a job, just moved from place to place and spent most of my time in bed. I FEEL old. I never expected to live past 23, the thought that this might be the end of my life upsets me because I've got nothing to show for it but I'm terrified of having to live the rest of my life like this. I just can't deal with anything, even the tiniest of things and I'm getting so bitter and twisted while everyone around me is studying to reach, or are already in, their dream careers.



Urgh, I'm just feeling melancholy and self-pitying, I'm not sure what I hope to achieve from this post. I just don't really have anyone to talk to in real life right now.
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#2 Old 08-17-2009, 03:02 PM
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This is real life as well.



Take it slow. You sound like you're being pretty hard on yourself. Do you take a multivitamin? If not, that very much might help you. 18 hours is way too much.



After you deal with oversleeping: Do you have any hobbies? do you exercise? Are there other veggies nearby? Any meetups of veggies nearby?



If you want to talk, PM me.

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#3 Old 08-17-2009, 03:03 PM
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voluntary work for you!!!!!!!!



its just like a job. you get new friends, a reason to get up every day, learn new skills, show potential employers that you're the self-motivated type... etc. is there a library or community centre nearby that you could go to and find out whats going on? i know voluntary work makes you think of litter-picking or working in charity shops, but its really not like that unless you want it to be. there are loads of awesome things you could be doing all over the world, and you'd be suprised how much you can get out of giving something back.



eta: btw, i think you might be depressed, even if you don't. feeling tired and sleeping loads is classic stuff. as is fear and exhaustion at the mere thought of everyday stuff, inability to concentrate, negative outlook on the future, lack of motivation... shall i go on?
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#4 Old 08-17-2009, 03:03 PM
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#5 Old 08-17-2009, 03:06 PM
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hoodedclaw jen you are a genius! yally that's well worth you considering.



In the meantime, a trip to the doc and a good multivitamin wouldn't do any harm either. Seriously, go to the doc s/he needs to hear how you're feeling.



You look after yourself hon x
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#6 Old 08-17-2009, 03:06 PM
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voluntary work for you!!!!!!!!



I was just going to say that I also think you should go to your doctor as perhaps this is something medical. I have met many clients in my work like that, and they either are depressed or have something medical going on. Rarely it is something other than the two, but it's worth exploring.



Volunteering at animal shelters is great, and also volunteering at help lines is really good on a resume.
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#7 Old 08-17-2009, 03:12 PM
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i might be a bit biased, but thats cos i used to work for a volunteer bureau. we sent people off doing all kindsa things from teaching english in africa, to counting penguins somewhere a bit less warm, and helped kids to set up skateparks, look after forestry, build and run community gardens and veggie patches... all sorts. school starts again soon... you like kids? schools often want volunteers to help with art and sports stuff, and listen to small people read. little childrens are cute as hell and not only do they love cool grownup helpers, but they stretch your brain and make you laugh a lot.
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#8 Old 08-17-2009, 03:14 PM
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Thanks for your replies folks, I was about to delete this but thank for all your advice



I was seriously looking into volunteering a while ago. There's even this one place where apparently all you have to do is play with the animals! I just find it hard to make that first leap into things. I had an interview with a charity to do some admin work, but on the morning I had to cancel at the last minute because I got myself into such a tizz. It's such a shame because it would have been ideal.



As for hobbies and exercise. Well, I walk a lot, I used to work out but I just don't have the energy to break out into a run or anything anymore. So I walk, like 8 miles a day (although I haven't the past couple of weeks due to injuries and not having time for all the sleep). And I knit and that's about it at the moment. Pretty solitary things. I'm quite socially awkward but when I'm around friends I just talk and talk and no one would have any idea that I'm a bit down ever.



Anyway, blah, sorry for being so whiney, I'm going to sleep now or I'll never get up in time to go to the doctor's. Thanks for listening. xx
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#9 Old 08-17-2009, 03:17 PM
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i used to work for a volunteer bureau



Hey, so did I! I knew there was a reason I liked you.



Quote:
There's even this one place where apparently all you have to do is play with the animals!



Pets as Therapy
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#10 Old 08-17-2009, 03:21 PM
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awwwww. thats a shame. sometimes it does take a couple of goes to get your bravery together enough to get properly started on something- thats ok! - don't give up!



many charities tend to work with lots of excluded groups, attract those who are looking to get out and involved in things a bit more, and people who do charity work tend to be the caring type, so everyone is likely to understand that you're a bit out of the loop and nervous.



its not too late to have another go at this. instead of focusing on your worry, focus on where you want to get yourself, and how much fun its gonna be once you've got past the newness and made new friends, and got into the swing of it. think of all the little animals and how nice its gonna be working with them, and how great it'll be feeling more confident and energetic (the more you do, the more you can do).



also, maybe arrange to have someone to pick you up and go with you (drag your arse out the door kicking and screaming ) next time- friends are quite good in the role of arsekicker when required.
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#11 Old 08-17-2009, 03:46 PM
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Hey, I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel. I've been in a huge rut for last while now and it really does start to weigh heavily on your shoulder.



I also feel like I havent accomplished anything to show in my life, and, getting hired somewhere seems next to impossible lately.



Volunteering sounds like a good idea..the idea of taking that first step is so hard.. i know cause I too struggle with it alot. Objects at rest stay at rest, and objects in movement keep on moving.... something I always try to remind myself.



I know you dont have much energy to exercise.. but it really does help.. i suggest picking up a cheap kundalini yoga dvd.. its very low energy.. and more about energizing yourself from inside out. I notice that my mood has changed alot since I've started it.



If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone that going through what you are.. feel free to pm me.
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#12 Old 08-17-2009, 04:24 PM
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Life can be tough out there. I have had my ups and downs. Whenever things start to go poorly for me I say to myself that now is the time to cast a wide net and look for opportunities. I generally end up using that opportunity to take a risk and more often then not that risk was a smart decision.



I have read many of your posts and I think that you have a lot to offer employers, friends and animals. Don`t be too picky with jobs and volunteer work right now so you can build up your confidence and see what is out there. At 24 you have lots of time. And seriously quit depriving people of dates - anyone who has seen the picture you posted today in the user picture thread knows that you are a knockout.
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#13 Old 08-17-2009, 04:42 PM
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I'm sorry you're feeling out of sorts. Have you any idea what's causing you to not have enough energy? It could be anything from depression to CFS, so it's worth looking into what's making you sleep so much.



Motivating yourself with various activities seems to be a good start to beating this current state. It's also quite important, I think, to develop a routine, even before you select what kind of activities you're going to do: start going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, try to work out or go for walk the same time and for the same amount of time, have your meals at regular hours, etc.



A small thing I noticed from what you've said:



Quote:
Originally Posted by yally View Post


And I knit and that's about it at the moment. Pretty solitary things.



Knitting can be quite a social activity! Are you in London? Lots of knitting clubs you could join! Have you tried the iKnit club? I've been to the shop, but not the knitting night, but I've heard very good things about them! In my experience, knitting groups can be very friendly, open to all levels (I've taught quite a few people both how to knit and to learn new techniques at my groups), and a good way to meet people and have a chinwag and a pint at your local pub. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss this more.



Best of luck!!
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#14 Old 08-17-2009, 05:20 PM
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I know how you feel. I haven't been employed for a couple of months and eventually got so bored and fed up that I used my savings to go on a 2 week holiday, which was great but now I'm back trying to not only find a job but find the motivation to start looking again. And it can be a bit of a self-esteem killer having no real purpose to your days and too much time to mull over things.

I think what you need most is a routine to break up your day and give it some purpose. Having your days just stretch ahead of you can send anyone a little nutty and makes you want to sleep all the time! Everyone else has offered suggestions but I just want to say that I empathise and I'm sure you will move forward from this.
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#15 Old 08-18-2009, 02:37 AM
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Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your kind words and support. I feel much better today, I think from having vented and actually have people listen, it definitely helps



I didn't make it to the doctor, mostly because I remembered the guy I saw last time was a complete arse, but I'll see if I can turn things around over the next few days (sleep wise at least). If I'm still sleeping crazy amounts then I'll definitely go in.
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#16 Old 08-18-2009, 06:35 AM
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I'm glad you feel a bit better today Yally. I would advise taking a good multivitamin or a iron supplement. Women are likely to suffer more from iron deficiency than men.



I have also volunteered and it helps you to meet people in your local area and it does look good on a CV.
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#17 Old 08-20-2009, 03:18 PM
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I am so sorry you are feeling bad. The first step is to rule out any physical illness. If you're anemic it can make you depressed because you have no energy to move forward.



I hope you get to feeling better. It's a frustrating feeling to go through that!
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#18 Old 08-20-2009, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by yally View Post

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your kind words and support. I feel much better today, I think from having vented and actually have people listen, it definitely helps



I didn't make it to the doctor, mostly because I remembered the guy I saw last time was a complete arse, but I'll see if I can turn things around over the next few days (sleep wise at least). If I'm still sleeping crazy amounts then I'll definitely go in.



getting stuff out of your head can make a huge difference. i'm glad it helped.



with the sleep thing, maybe make a plan (including a treat) for the next days activities before bed, and set an alarm to wake you in the morning, then in the am get up before you can start thinking about whether or not you want to, and start on the plan.



its incredibly hard for me to get up if i haven't got a good reason lined up. bed is warm and comfy. life feels futile and like hard work first thing. sleep is a nice escape from reality. arming, enthusing and guilting yourself with a list often helps.
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#19 Old 08-21-2009, 05:13 AM
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It could very well be you are in a rut, or depressed. Those kinds of things can definately cause what you are feeling. It could also be low iron, which again causes those symptoms. Before I got to the personal issues part of this post though, I wanted to say mono. I think you should definately get a blood test, just incase.
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