Article: neglecting and abandoning your pets when you have a baby - Page 2 - VeggieBoards
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#31 Old 08-11-2013, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by silva View Post

If she was trying to be humorous she failed.

She has more than one kid. NOTHING gets under your feet, and under your skin, and on your last nerve like a kid!.

Well at least for me. Having my dog around kept me sane.

iloveyou.gif too!

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#32 Old 08-12-2013, 05:09 AM
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I'm not defending her, I'm defending her point, which is that a lot of people / most people shouldn't have pets.

Her last sentences - her main point - is not "neglect your dog" or "look how funny I am," it's "to all young couples... Don't get a dog. Or if you do, don't have kids." Well, that's actually really good advice for most people.

As I pointed out earlier, over 4 million pets are killed each year in "shelters." Countless more are neglected, abused, or abandoned. Nearly every single one had an owner who needed to hear someone say "don't get a pet."

Pet ownership is inherently ethically problematic. This article touches on a bit of that. We shouldn't react by demonizing one individual who has the honesty to admit she has complicated feelings regarding her dependents. We should acknowledge that her feelings are more common than we'd like to think and that there are probably thousands or even millions of dogs in Velvel's situation. How as a society should we react? And if we're not motivated to react on a larger scale than attacking one individual, why? Could it be that because in the grand scheme of things - compared to shelter dogs or puppy mill dogs or egg-laying hens or dairy cows or broiler chickens - Velvel doesn't have it that bad?
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#33 Old 08-12-2013, 02:48 PM
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So if it was a child instead of Velvel would you say he/she "didn't have it that bad"? Because you KNOW there are parents out there who pick and choose among their kids too. Just like there are parents who realize too late they shouldn't have had kids. But if the situation isn't "that bad" it's good enough, right?

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#34 Old 08-12-2013, 03:35 PM
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So if it was a child instead of Velvel would you say he/she "didn't have it that bad"? Because you KNOW there are parents out there who pick and choose among their kids too. Just like there are parents who realize too late they shouldn't have had kids. But if the situation isn't "that bad" it's good enough, right?

People don't say it though. It's never written in an article tongue in cheek, and if it was there'd be more retaliation towards the mother than there is for this.

Really- Cornsail nailed it! But it's not like those feelings don't exist. They just don't get said outloud.

I don't really think the author was as dismissive towards Velvel as we're making it to be. Probably just stressed because she has 3 kids!

But seriously, you can write that kind of thing about your dog, you can't about your kids.

I'm bringing this up due a conversation with "pro-lifer" about the new abortion restrictions. It's easy to say you regret an abortion, but not so easy to say you shouldn't have had kids.


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#35 Old 08-12-2013, 03:58 PM
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Could it be that because in the grand scheme of things - compared to shelter dogs or puppy mill dogs or egg-laying hens or dairy cows or broiler chickens - Velvel doesn't have it that bad?

 

And by corollary, in the grand scheme of things, there are many Africans who are literally starving to death - who were born in famine stricken, war torn countries, with no social programs and zero hope of a future.  No one in the US - of any race - has it that bad.  And yet you post a lot about run of the mill racism and how much it pains you.  Maybe you'd best stop whinging about things like how Michael Vick doesn't get the forgiveness from animal rights activists that you think he deserves, because I can't imagine how that would rate into your comparison of 'who has it bad.'  I find your stance on this speciesist.


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#36 Old 08-12-2013, 04:04 PM
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I agree that the tone of the article is harsh- even nasty. It wasn't pleasant to read, and I felt badly for Velvel: I've never been the sole caretaker of a dog but I've known a number of them reasonably well, and I know that Velvel remembers how it was before the children were born. I just hope people get the message and THINK CAREFULLY before getting a pet as demanding, but as sensitive and amazingly responsive, as a dog.

 

(They should think before having children too, but that's another discussion...)


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#37 Old 08-12-2013, 04:51 PM
 
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Her view is without a doubt speciesist and the post baby treatment/neglect of Velvel is atrocious. That said, when you take into consideration that 90% plus of western civilization share her speciesist views, I think her advice for those families wanting children - "don't get a dog" -  is a blessing for dogs, especially in the long run.

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#38 Old 08-12-2013, 05:13 PM
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I know a lot of parents who do have dogs though and they don't feel this way. Maybe the people I know just aren't jerks.

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#39 Old 08-12-2013, 05:32 PM
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We adopted a dog when our youngest was four years old and trustworthy with animals.

We wanted one in our family all along, and our older child was 8 by this point and pleading for a dog. grin.gif I dislike toddlers hanging on dogs and grabbing their tails, etc. It worked out really well for us.
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#40 Old 08-14-2013, 12:30 PM
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^ But she said he doesn't get any exercise. She might have meant that she used to walk him, but stopped.

 

 

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BTW, she says "having to walk him every day", which is not the same as saying she actually does walk him every day. In conjunction with saying that he doesn't get any exercise, it either means that she knows he should be walked every day, but she doesn't do it, or she only "walks" him long enough for him to defecate and urinate. If she doesn't have a fenced in yard, it probably means the latter.

This is what I took from the article too. She knows he needs walking but she doesn't walk him like she should do.

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She didn't just wind up "over her head."  She chose to have one child, then another, and then a third.  They had YEARS to plan and adjust to this, it didn't happen overnight.  This was their choice, not some burden that was dropped on them.

 

I think that was what annoyed me as she seems to have abdicated responsibility for the dog's welfare as she feels she has too much on her plate even though she has a lot of alternative options to keep the dog reasonably happy.

 

I have only had dogs for about two years now but I know that they crave the attention of their human and they want to play and be occupied. My dogs hardly ever whine in the way she describes her dog does which makes me feel sad and angry that the dog is being neglected.

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#41 Old 08-14-2013, 03:48 PM
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People don't say it though. It's never written in an article tongue in cheek, and if it was there'd be more retaliation towards the mother than there is for this.

Really- Cornsail nailed it! But it's not like those feelings don't exist. They just don't get said outloud.

I don't really think the author was as dismissive towards Velvel as we're making it to be. Probably just stressed because she has 3 kids!

But seriously, you can write that kind of thing about your dog, you can't about your kids.

 


Yea, I was gonna say it sounds like she resents her kids too. She's just taking it out on the dog because it's more socially acceptable.


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#42 Old 09-01-2013, 03:32 PM
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I like this satire better - 

 

Quote:

 

My other valid non-ridiculous reasons for rescuing another dog over adopting a second child:

  • Dogs stop pooping in the house a long time before the new baby will.
  • Easier to leave a dog with friends for overnight Vegas trips!
  • I never really want to leave my dog in the closet when he is whining. (He never wines, he sympathizes.)
  • There are millions of unwanted dogs in Los Angeles. (There are hundreds of unwanted kids…) Much better odds on the dog.
  • Dog adoption is much cheaper. And quicker. And if you get a lemon, you only have to keep it for, what, 10 years? With a child…

http://parents.com/blogs/adoption-diaries/2011/06/08/must-read/adopting-a-dog-versus-adopting-a-child/

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#43 Old 09-15-2013, 06:27 PM
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This article is a great example of why I dislike the puppy craze that people have. People think that the only way to go about getting a dog is to get a puppy. I do not mean to say that everyone who gets a puppy is doing it wrong. For a whole lot of people a puppy is a great choice, but a puppy may be around for 15 years and that is a huge commitment. Many people, myself included, cannot picture where we will be in 15 years. That is what is so great about older dogs. In about a year I plan to start looking for that perfect 10 year old canine companion who will be my mature and relaxed friend and who will be a shorter term commitment. Old dogs make great pets too, and allow the responsible dog owner a more flexible future.

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#44 Old 09-15-2013, 07:54 PM
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all i can say is i'm still glad i talked someone pregnant out of getting a kitten... right before she was put on bedrest
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#45 Old 09-19-2013, 04:55 PM
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The problem is with people who get pets as practice children. Some people make the dog a part of their family both before and after kids. Others just want something to fill their time until the baby arrives. The latter group needs to look into getting a stuffed toy.

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#46 Old 10-28-2013, 08:55 AM
 
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This is absolutely ridiculous. I work at an animal hospital and am an Animal Science major. With my interactions of certain clients at the hospital unfortunately this happens often. I cannot count how many owners come to us and want us to find a new home for their pet or they will take it to the shelter. When we ask why the reasons are, 'we are moving and they do not accept pets', 'I have a new baby', 'I have allergies'...etc etc. If a person is moving why wouldn't they find a place that was 'animal friendly'? If they have a new baby they need to keep their commitment of being a 'mom'/'dad' to the animal as well as the child. If the pet would be neglected then I suppose finding a new suitable home where they would be LOVED would be appropriate. Lastly if the person has allergies....I have allergies as well. I receive allergy shots twice a week and take medicine. I do this because well simply put my body needs it and I AM NOT getting rid of my animals just because I have an occasional sneeze or runny eye.

 

I'm sorry for the tangent but I do encounter this and it is very sad and ignorant.

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#47 Old 10-28-2013, 11:39 AM
 
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That woman will get what's coming to her for being so selfish. What a waste of space... Let's laugh at her and learn to never be like that for any reason. 

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#48 Old 10-29-2013, 07:35 PM
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IDK, jump down my throat or whatever, but I can relate to her sentiment a little bit.

I don't neglect my dogs one bit, but they certainly feel like they aren't #1 since I had 2 children. My mental and physical energy was once split between my dogs, my job, and me. Now I am torn in a million directions- my husband, my son, daughter, 2 dogs.

I'm sure it is sad for my dogs, having all my attention, then having to have it split between 3 more people. Sometimes they have to wait until the kids are in bed before I can cuddle or play with them. I'm sad about it also but what can I do about it now? Sometimes my one dog Ruby will come to my feet with a ball and drop it, but I am in the middle of cleaning up finger paint from all over my walls, or one of my kids hit the other one, or I'm cooking dinner for everybody. I can't be everything to everybody, and I have to choose to tend to whoever is having the biggest emergency at the time. Like a triage. All the time.

Right now I am cuddled up in bed, rubbing my dog Rita's belly while she licks my hand. But she had to wait until now to get the affection.

I'm not like this lady, I don't get annoyed when my dogs need something. I help them the best I can. They have everything they need- premium vegan food, fresh water at all times, they get let out into the backyard whenever they scratch at the door. They love to roll around in the grass and play with each other. At night I throw the ball for them in the backyard for exercise. They go to the vet for regular checkups and get their teeth brushed once a week. I don't resent them, I love them. But they are no longer #1 and that is a fact of life. Nobody in my family is #1.

 

Before I had kids? I got the dogs with no plans of getting married or having kids. That changed for me suddenly and here I am. I didn't think it through, I couldn't see 8 years into the future at the time. I also was one of those people who thought kids were cute and you could dress them up in outfits and show them off. That my kids were always going to be well behaved little teddy bears and being a housewife for a while and quitting my job would be relaxing and fun.

I was not even close, ha ha. Its like a mental hospital in here 24/7. I do my best. I also try to stay sane myself.

I guess I just see a lot of judgement being thrown around at people who have dogs and then have kids. I'm trying to clear that up. Not all of us are awful people. Just mega overwhelmed. Maybe if someone had shown me my future I would have done things differently. But I never ever regret getting my dogs. I love them very very much and am so happy that they are a part of my life.


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#49 Old 10-29-2013, 11:10 PM
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You don't sound anything like the woman who wrote the article.

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#50 Old 11-07-2013, 04:07 AM
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It's just one of the many examples why (most) humans are inferior species when comparing to an animal (any animal). It often does not even take as much as having a baby (which certainly is no excuse to ditch your furry friend), shelters are full of abandoned cats and dogs, because their owners decided to take a vacation/move, separated and all of these other ridiculous reasons. Once I saw a beautiful Persian girl and her companion cat in a shelter, they could only be adopted as a pair. Their former ''mommy'' had abandoned them because her new boyfriend did not like cats. I already had two grown cats, and I was reluctant to take them, since there was no evidence that they would get along, they both had behavioral issues. It's unimaginable. I would never start a relationship with an animal hater, or someone who would ask me to leave my pets. And I would certainly end one, if my partner would get such ideas as giving them up.

 

Many humans do not care if animals have feelings, or do not even think they are capable of them. Often people get pets just like they get a new toy, then they get tired of it, something more ''novel'' and ''fun'' comes along and they have no problem to part ways with them. Some think that giving a cat to the shelter, when you are tired of it is a good deed, a favor to the cat, so he can have a ''better life'' with some other family. It is pretty much equal to a mother giving up her kid for an adoption after living with him for 5, 8, 10 years. So he can ''have a more suited family''. That pet does not care for a different family. Animals bond with their owners strongly and they do not take this kind of abandonment lightly.

 

I hope life punishes that lady somehow. She deserves no happy ever after with her kids. She shouldn't even have kids to begin with.

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