Try seeing if you can get vegetarian caterers to cater the wedding and then hold it in a hall or other venue where there is no catering. ISKCON restaurants (often called "Govinda's", "Gopala's" or "Higher Taste") may be able to do catering but I think the best would be to find caterers that make dishes with fake meat.
Regarding having a vegetarian reception, I don't think you should have animals killed just to please friends/family. Surely the guests will survive one meal without meat. But let them know in advance so there are no surprises. They can then choose not to come if they wish, letting you know that their meat eating is more important than your friendship, which I would consider a good thing to know. What do you think means more to them: seeing their friend/relative get married or having meat on their plates? If you do this, you'll certainly find out.
Think about it this way: I'm sure you think that stealing is wrong and buying stolen property is wrong and immoral. But say you have a friend who sees nothing wrong with buying stolen property as long as he doesn't have to steal the item himself. Your friend calls you and asks you to pick up a stolen TV for him (because he's busy). Now you don't believe in buying stolen goods but your friend sees nothing wrong with it, so would you pick up the TV for him? (for the sake of argument, let's say there's no way you could get busted by the police and it's solely a moral issue). I don't think you would. So if you believe that killing animals is wrong but other people don't have an issue with it, you still shouldn't buy meat for them for the exact same reason you shouldn't pick up the stolen TV - just because somebody believes an action is okay doesn't mean it is.
Check out my vegetarian product blog: http://isitveggienz.wordpress.com/