Stupid Things Omnivores Say, Version 4.0 - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-03-2009, 04:52 AM
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And here it is! A brand-new, shiny thread just waiting to be filled with stupid comments, groans, face-palms-- and maybe even a few laughs!



Version 1.0: https://www.veggieboards.com/boards/s...ead.php?t=5060



Version 2.0: https://www.veggieboards.com/boards/s...ad.php?t=50491



Version 3.0: https://www.veggieboards.com/boards/s...ad.php?t=84454



Carry on!
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#2 Old 06-03-2009, 05:22 AM
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Ooooo... shiny...
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#3 Old 06-03-2009, 06:30 AM
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I'll tarnish it then . . .



I was out for lunch with a couple of work colleagues for lunch and it was the first time one of them found out I'm vegan.



Dude - 'So what do you eat?'



Me - good question, shows interest etc so I gave a polite answer



Dude - 'Why are you vegan then, is it a health thing or 'for the animals'



Me - 'Its for the animals really'



Dude - 'but they're natures larder'



Me - ' uh '
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#4 Old 06-03-2009, 06:38 AM
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Oh look, version 4.0! I didn't even know it was in beta.



I don't have any current "stupid things omni's say" stories. However, my current pet peeve is how non-veggies around me (co-workers) seem to go out of their way to make sure everyone knows I'm veggie. Ladies and gents, there is no need to announce it at the company 'we really value our employees so here's a hot dog' function. Mind ya business people!
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#5 Old 06-03-2009, 08:04 AM
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I have a coworker (who sits right next to me in cubicle land) who has the worst eating habits I have seen in a long time. He constantly makes comments about how healthy and "gross" my food is, while he stuffs his face with chips and bacon. I am really not kidding either, every single sandwich he eats has some sort of meat with bacon, cheese, and mayo. No veggies at all.



He always feels the need to tell me about which awful piece of flesh he is grilling, roasting, etc. each night for dinner. I really could care less about what he is eating and I cannot figure out for the life of me why he cares so much about my eating habits.
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#6 Old 06-03-2009, 08:06 AM
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First page.
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#7 Old 06-03-2009, 11:45 AM
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Mrs. Skittles! I, too, work in cubicle-land.



A story from yesterday: An otherwise-very-nice chap who we'll call "B" (declared himself my long-lost twin just a few days ago, as we agree on pretty much everything else in the universe besides animal rights) discovered that I don't wear leather. Another coworker, a sympathetic omni ("S") who is seriously considering going vegetarian, was listening in.



Me: (talking about my NB shoes)... it's just tough to find shoes without leather, that's all.

B: Oh, and do you think it's wrooooooong to wear leather?

Me: Well, actually... yeah.

B: Oh. Well, do you eat meat?

Me: No.

B: Well, ok, do you drink milk?

Me: No.

S: Dude, you're talking to a vegan.

B: WHAT?!



[time-lapse special effects go here]



B: But you're destroying animals' habitats with farming!

Me: It takes a huge amount of grain to feed farm animals, much more than I would eat. I'm actually consuming a tiny fraction of the amount of grain that you are consuming by eating grain-fed meat. And that's not even counting how much space animal farms take up as well.

B: But don't you think it's just as wrong to pull plants out of the earth? I mean, they must be screaming. You just rip them out and their roots get all torn...

Me: It bothers me, but it's a necessary evil. Clearly, I don't need animal by-products to survive. I do, however, need plant matter to survive.

B: (out of nowhere) But what about CHICKENS?!

Me:

B: We, like, invented chickens!

Me: Well... I know we... genetically modified them... but we didn't cook them out of a potion, you know, add eye of newt and the tears from a baby and out came the chicken!



I think at this point he realized he was being ridiculous and promptly changed the subject. Yay!
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#8 Old 06-03-2009, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by luckyduck View Post


b: (out of nowhere) but what about chickens?!

me:

b: We, like, invented chickens!







... :/
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#9 Old 06-03-2009, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by LuckyDuck View Post

Mrs. Skittles! I, too, work in cubicle-land.



A story from yesterday: An otherwise-very-nice chap who we'll call "B" (declared himself my long-lost twin just a few days ago, as we agree on pretty much everything else in the universe besides animal rights) discovered that I don't wear leather. Another coworker, a sympathetic omni ("S") who is seriously considering going vegetarian, was listening in.



Me: (talking about my NB shoes)... it's just tough to find shoes without leather, that's all.

B: Oh, and do you think it's wrooooooong to wear leather?

Me: Well, actually... yeah.

B: Oh. Well, do you eat meat?

Me: No.

B: Well, ok, do you drink milk?

Me: No.

S: Dude, you're talking to a vegan.

B: WHAT?!



[time-lapse special effects go here]



B: But you're destroying animals' habitats with farming!

Me: It takes a huge amount of grain to feed farm animals, much more than I would eat. I'm actually consuming a tiny fraction of the amount of grain that you are consuming by eating grain-fed meat. And that's not even counting how much space animal farms take up as well.

B: But don't you think it's just as wrong to pull plants out of the earth? I mean, they must be screaming. You just rip them out and their roots get all torn...

Me: It bothers me, but it's a necessary evil. Clearly, I don't need animal by-products to survive. I do, however, need plant matter to survive.

B: (out of nowhere) But what about CHICKENS?!

Me:

B: We, like, invented chickens!

Me: Well... I know we... genetically modified them... but we didn't cook them out of a potion, you know, add eye of newt and the tears from a baby and out came the chicken!



I think at this point he realized he was being ridiculous and promptly changed the subject. Yay!



Cubicle land sucks sooooo much. I can hardly wait until I finish school and I can accomplish my actual goals.



I would have gottan so frustrated with that guy. Srsly.... we invented chickens? I wonder who has the patent for that....
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#10 Old 06-03-2009, 12:46 PM
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I didn't feel like talking about it because I knew for a fact the person I was talking to was being ignorant, not actually wanting to learn...



J: You're not one of those 'cute-baby-lamb-loving' vegetarians, are you?

Me: Uh, yeah actually... I am.

J: When is the last time you ate meat?

Me: Over 2 years ago.

J: But WHY? I mean, I can understand if you've been a vegetarian your whole life, but WHYYYYY would someone just CHANGE like that?

Me: Well, I had an epiphany.

J: BUT WHYYYY? I just don't get it. Do you eat fish? You do eat fish right?

Me: No.

J: "WHAT? But what did the fish ever do to you?"

Me: *blank stare*



She just laughed and changed the subject. It was an otherwise business related conversation so I wasn't about to rant at the ridiculousness of that statement. BUT I hope she at least felt stupid for saying that.
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#11 Old 06-03-2009, 04:39 PM
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Woo! New thread!



This is more funny than stupid. My dad and I were eating dinner and talking about my college classes, specifically the core ones that everyone has to take, and he was talking about how it's a good idea to get them out of the way first, so you can then focus on what you actually want to take, "You know, like you have to eat your salad first to get to the meat." I did my best not to laugh as I continued eating the salad that was my whole dinner when he realized what a bad analogy that was for me. We laughed over it so I thought you guys might find it funny, too. ^.^
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#12 Old 06-03-2009, 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Skittles View Post

Cubicle land sucks sooooo much. I can hardly wait until I finish school and I can accomplish my actual goals.



I would have gottan so frustrated with that guy. Srsly.... we invented chickens? I wonder who has the patent for that....



Cubicle land DOES suck. Bah. Hooray for school!!



The thing about this guy is, he's otherwise really sweet, fun, and all-around-nice. I guess I just found the button that should be marked "DO NOT PUSH", that's all.
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#13 Old 06-04-2009, 02:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Sewwattsnew View Post

Woo! New thread!



This is more funny than stupid. My dad and I were eating dinner and talking about my college classes, specifically the core ones that everyone has to take, and he was talking about how it's a good idea to get them out of the way first, so you can then focus on what you actually want to take, "You know, like you have to eat your salad first to get to the meat." I did my best not to laugh as I continued eating the salad that was my whole dinner when he realized what a bad analogy that was for me. We laughed over it so I thought you guys might find it funny, too. ^.^



Very bad analogy LOL
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#14 Old 06-04-2009, 02:22 AM
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While at work (seems to be the theme or version 4) we had a shared lunch and someone brought a ham



Workmate "mmmm this ham is to die for"

Me "something did die for it"



I just wish people would think before they speak.....
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#15 Old 06-04-2009, 02:37 AM
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Originally Posted by MMMVeggies!!! View Post

While at work (seems to be the theme or version 4) we had a shared lunch and someone brought a ham



Workmate "mmmm this ham is to die for"

Me "something did die for it"



I just wish people would think before they speak.....

Great response, I have to remember that the next time someone comes up with that!
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#16 Old 06-04-2009, 09:22 AM
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The topic of global warming was brought up in my book club.



Woman 1: "Some people are saying we should stop raising animals, that we should only eat foods from plant sources."

Woman 2: "So we shouldn't have any animals?"

Woman 1: "Yes, they say they contribute to global warming."

Woman 2: "That's ridiculous! Why, there have been animals on the earth since the beginning of time!"

Woman 1: "I know! But that's what they say!"



There are so many things wrong with that exchange, I don't know where to start.

slops, gloops, and gruels.
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#17 Old 06-04-2009, 10:11 AM
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This is one I heard from a particular redneck



Redneck: "What if I told you if you didn't eat one chicken, I would kill two?"

Me: "I'd take you out before you killed the chickens."
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#18 Old 06-04-2009, 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by KarmaKitty View Post

This is one I heard from a particular redneck



Redneck: "What if I told you if you didn't eat one chicken, I would kill two?"

Me: "I'd take you out before you killed the chickens."



You made me
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#19 Old 06-04-2009, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted by KarmaKitty View Post

This is one I heard from a particular redneck



Redneck: "What if I told you if you didn't eat one chicken, I would kill two?"

Me: "I'd take you out before you killed the chickens."



Ugh, I get that from local dudes all the time. Even complete strangers with whom I was previously having a very nice conversation with. Except it's usually, "For every animal you don't eat, I'm eating ten!!!" I just tell them to enjoy their short life while they can.



Also, I don't understand why all of my omni friends are obsessed with introducing me to people as their friend Brandi the Vegan. Makes me feel like a WoW character.
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#20 Old 06-04-2009, 01:44 PM
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There's this one chick at school that I noticed a long time ago isn't a very nice person... Well, after she heard in philosophy class that I'm vegetarian, she made a point telling me she "sooo feels like a steak, yuuuummmmm" Only good thing is that other people have started to see her for the unpleasant person she is.

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#21 Old 06-04-2009, 01:45 PM
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My ex boyfriend was convinced that if we did not eat chickens, it would get to such a stage that there would be significantly more chickens in the world than humans and human life would be endangered.



Note: my EX boyfriend.
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#22 Old 06-04-2009, 05:23 PM
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My ex boyfriend was convinced that if we did not eat chickens, it would get to such a stage that there would be significantly more chickens in the world than humans and human life would be endangered.



Note: my EX boyfriend.



There are significantly more chickens than humans on earth! (over 24 billion)



If we didn't breed them specifically for consumption, there wouldn't be so many.
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#23 Old 06-04-2009, 05:59 PM
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Also "So, what is a quorn?" XD
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#24 Old 06-04-2009, 10:32 PM
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Also "So, what is a quorn?" XD



A gross thing on people's feet?





Really, though, I think that's a legitimate question. I don't really even know what quorn is. All I need to know is that it's imitating chicken, and I hate chicken so I'm staying far away.
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#25 Old 06-04-2009, 11:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Kjesta View Post

There's this one chick at school that I noticed a long time ago isn't a very nice person... Well, after she heard in philosophy class that I'm vegetarian, she made a point telling me she "sooo feels like a steak, yuuuummmmm" Only good thing is that other people have started to see her for the unpleasant person she is.



The reply for that is "you dont look like one!" and then you could peer at her for a minute then go "on second thoughts..." and lick your lips.
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#26 Old 06-04-2009, 11:46 PM
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But do the chickens have choppers?
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#27 Old 06-05-2009, 01:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KarmaKitty View Post

This is one I heard from a particular redneck



Redneck: "What if I told you if you didn't eat one chicken, I would kill two?"

Me: "I'd take you out before you killed the chickens."



FTW.

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#28 Old 06-05-2009, 02:45 AM
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The reply for that is "you dont look like one!" and then you could peer at her for a minute then go "on second thoughts..." and lick your lips.



That's a good one! Only trouble is that you can't really say that in German (you know, phrased differently and stuff) but I'll keep it in mind I ever hear something like that from an English-speaking person

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#29 Old 06-05-2009, 04:44 AM
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A gross thing on people's feet?





Really, though, I think that's a legitimate question. I don't really even know what quorn is. All I need to know is that it's imitating chicken, and I hate chicken so I'm staying far away.



I think so too because I didn't even know what quorn was until I read your post!
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#30 Old 06-05-2009, 08:06 AM
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woo! i can't believe we're on version 4 already! i don't think i got to read version 3... it's been a long time! haha.



well, i have two at the moment.



my dad keeps trying to convince me that if we didn't eat the chickens they would be running everywhere. we'd have chicken problems, like rat problems. but like someone said before! if we didn't keep breeding them we wouldn't really have too many chickens! their predators could keep them under control... the natural way.



and my second one comes from this boy who lives near me (a sophomore, haha, so you get an idea how annoying he is.) once asked me if i ever felt weak. i just went, noooo... do you? and then i realized he was talking about me not ever eating meat. haha. his brother also has some ideas about vegetarians. when he found out i was vegetarian he said "ohh, so that's why you're so pale"



haha... oh wow. i can't believe i'm the same species as some of these people.
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