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#1 Old 11-28-2008, 06:20 AM
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I just thought I'd share my experience lately..The more involved in researching and learning everything there is to know about factory farming, the dairy industry, animal testing etc. the more I am starting to lose respect for the people around me. People I have been friends with for YEARS that just turn around and say "oh, I don't really think about it" or "I'm not really concerned with that stuff". It's so disappointing to discover that I am slowly having less and less in common with everyone around me. I've even started not bothering trying to make friendships with people I would ordinarily get along great with, simply due to their lack of regard for these subjects that I am so passionate about.

It's not like I shove it down their throat or anything - quite the opposite. If someone asks, I will answer them but I don't go around preaching to them or anything. They don't judge me or look at me any different, and respect my views, but I just can't respect theirs. And I'm starting to feel quite alone.

Has anyone else been through a similar thing? It would be great to hear about.
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#2 Old 11-28-2008, 10:11 AM
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I sympathize and you have the right attitude, even if their view and ways of life, is not or does not seem like people being respectful of ya know, animals etc.

When I talk about having the 'right' attitude though its not always easy to discern for yourself which is the best way to be, when it comes to rejecting those previous to your veg*anism you you would be around.



I don't hang around non veggies myself, and in fact only vegans preferably.
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#3 Old 11-28-2008, 10:13 AM
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I sympathize and you have the right attitude, even if their view and ways of life, is not respectful to your or my standards (or does not seem respectful of ya know, animals etc.)

When I talk about having the 'right' attitude though its not always easy to discern for yourself which is the best way to be, when it comes to rejecting those previous to your veg*anism you you would be around.



I don't hang around non veggies myself, and in fact only vegans preferably.
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#4 Old 11-28-2008, 10:17 AM
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I sympathize and you have the right attitude, even if their view and ways of life, is not respectful to your or my standards (or does not seem respectful of ya know, animals etc.)

When I talk about having the 'right' attitude though its not always easy to discern for yourself which is the best way to be, when it comes to rejecting those previous to your veg*anism you would ordinarily be around, or still choose the company of now, but choosing to a lessor degree how much time you spend with those people for example, now that you know more about suffering and being aware of what they are not or seem to be ignorant about, etc..



I don't hang around non veggies myself, and in fact only vegans preferably.
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#5 Old 11-28-2008, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_rae View Post

It's not like I shove it down their throat or anything - quite the opposite. If someone asks, I will answer them but I don't go around preaching to them or anything. They don't judge me or look at me any different, and respect my views, but I just can't respect theirs. And I'm starting to feel quite alone.

Has anyone else been through a similar thing? It would be great to hear about.



I sympathize. I've related an experience from just yesterday in another thread (the "Offended Omnivores" thread) so I won't repeat it here but I very much feel the same way. Not only do people not think about it, they don't like to discuss it or even have it mentioned. And not only will they not think about it or talk about it but they will blithely and joyfully go on with what they're doing without a second's thought as to why you've changed your dietary lifestyle. I find it disturbing. Yesterday, all the omnivores (which was everyone except me) went on about how great the turkey was (the turkey was draped with bacon, btw; reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer orders Bart to "bacon up that sausage"). I might as well not have been there.
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#6 Old 11-28-2008, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_rae View Post

I just thought I'd share my experience lately..The more involved in researching and learning everything there is to know about factory farming, the dairy industry, animal testing etc. the more I am starting to lose respect for the people around me. People I have been friends with for YEARS that just turn around and say "oh, I don't really think about it" or "I'm not really concerned with that stuff". It's so disappointing to discover that I am slowly having less and less in common with everyone around me. I've even started not bothering trying to make friendships with people I would ordinarily get along great with, simply due to their lack of regard for these subjects that I am so passionate about.

It's not like I shove it down their throat or anything - quite the opposite. If someone asks, I will answer them but I don't go around preaching to them or anything. They don't judge me or look at me any different, and respect my views, but I just can't respect theirs. And I'm starting to feel quite alone.

Has anyone else been through a similar thing? It would be great to hear about.

ive had similar experiences yes. Sometimes I just get in the mood when I'll act really sullen and call people ignorant and close minded when they blatantly are begging for it, and I'll be full of withering sarcasm and thinly disguised insults but sometimes i'm polite and just explain things really simply and politely.



Normally i'm the former when people are talking in the same ignorant way that u described like saying they dont think about it etc, some idiots after I point out that the more a person knows the more likely they are to go vegetarian will say something like 'I'll be careful not to learn more then' in which case even if they are a relative or something i'll still say words to the effect of 'you're an ignorant coward.'



But in the end the people worth knowing will appreciate you; seriously....they are often just jealous that they cant find that much willpower and compassion in themselves.



Of course you cant respect their views...and you shouldnt, if their view is simply that they arent concerned



Overall I'd say never back down and never pull any punches but actually let people proven themselves to be willfully ignorant first; dont just assume they will be.
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#7 Old 11-28-2008, 01:49 PM
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This isn't really related to veggie stuff because none of my friends know I'm a vegetarian as of yet. But I have a boyfriend who's quite a bit older than me (not grosely older than me I have to add!!!) and I've always been a bit mature for my age but able to hide it and utilize it when the setting is fit for it. So because of other factors I've dropped out of school and not felt good, I've lost a lot of contact with my friends. What we used to find funny now just isn't funny, I don't say anything but I often find their humor racist, disrespectful and tasteless. Because I dropped out I'm in a class of people one year younger than me - and I can feel that one year! Not only that, I am a rational person with an okay maybe even a bit punkish style (on the inside, I'm more dull on the oustide lol!) so their flashy "omg omg look at britney" and "let's all pout and look 'sexy' for the guys" attitude is just appalling to me. So I'm stuck alone in school all day with nothing but people who are idiots and seem to dislike me because I understand things that they don't (I got "stfu" when I tried to help).



I totally know your pain I'm not saying it sucks to only hang out with my bf all day because it doesn't, it's just when I'm at school it'd be nice to have someone in my class who'd actually like to be in a group with me



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#8 Old 11-30-2008, 12:41 PM
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I feel exactly the same as the OP. I couldn't be around ppl with much different attitudes for too long, I'm just not tolerant enough for that. that's a reason for me to be here at VB from time to time.

When I started to feel the way the OP stated, started to feel drifting away with my attitudes and began to feel incompatible by any mean with most people (actually that's not correct. I started drifting away from the average so long ago... I was always somewhat on my own with just a handful more or less loyal friends who then already weren't like me in most ways), I went abroad for a year as an exchange student. I went to meet new ppl, to find like-minded ppl, to learn about different cultures and gather confidence into myself.

And I have hit all of those goals. And by that I have driven myself farther away from the circle of friends I used to be in before my exchange.

It has shown that like-minded ones are primarily the ones that have a greater intellectual property than the ones watching MTV all day (I'm not wanting to say that MTV makes stupid here), that those are the ones good at school and more concerned about the future than about whether they're hip. It's just that you don't get around those ppl a lot because there aren't too many. I hope university will be different ::sigh::

Now that I've gotten back, the more-likely-minded ppl I met abroad are still abroad but I'm back, in my old circle of friends. And I'm alone now.

I've written how I deal with it in another thread on "how to be a happy vegetarian".



to all who've written before me, I like y'all's attitudes, I sympathize and see parallels. you're sympathetic to me. that's why I like VB. that's the only spot I know of to meet you.
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#9 Old 11-30-2008, 06:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_rae View Post

People I have been friends with for YEARS that just turn around and say "oh, I don't really think about it" or "I'm not really concerned with that stuff".



I guess I'm like your friends. I don't really think about it, otherwise I would go crazy! Only on the rare occasion that I see or hear a touching animal rights story or something.
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#10 Old 12-01-2008, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by ForestGlade34 View Post

I sympathize and you have the right attitude, even if their view and ways of life, is not respectful to your or my standards (or does not seem respectful of ya know, animals etc.)

When I talk about having the 'right' attitude though its not always easy to discern for yourself which is the best way to be, when it comes to rejecting those previous to your veg*anism you would ordinarily be around, or still choose the company of now, but choosing to a lessor degree how much time you spend with those people for example, now that you know more about suffering and being aware of what they are not or seem to be ignorant about, etc..



I don't hang around non veggies myself, and in fact only vegans preferably.



Goodness, I know exactly how you feel. That's why I joined VB a month or two ago. It's nice to be around people with similar viewpoints who won't constantly put you down.



I live in Maine and hunting is a really big thing here (and obviously I am against it), so I have to put up with a lot of people who just make fun of me. I feel very disconnected from a majority of people here.



I feel disconnected from close people too, but there are other personal issues that contribute to that. But I've begun to see how drastically different my lifestyle is from others' and how some people just have a blatant disregard or apathetic attitude toward what goes on in the meat industry. It upsets me that people I'm close to don't care as much about it as I do, and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. I feel like it's definitely caused a rift between me and those people. And I don't want it to because I've told myself that yeah, this vegetarian diet is important to me, but I won't let it take over my life. Some things have to come first. But I feel like the veggie lifestyle is altering my feelings about those I care about it. I look at so many things differently since I've become vegetarian. I look down on people who eat meat. So much. I don't want to at all, I want to be respectful of other peoples' choices because I want the same respect for my own choices. But I really just can't be around them for long periods of time, especially if the topic of vegetarianism or meat-eating comes up. It's a sad and scary thing, how much it changes you.
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#11 Old 12-02-2008, 10:06 AM
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I was disconnected from everyone before, veganism just made it worse.



I deeply deeply sympathize. I'm a Buddhist and while I am not a strict "meditator", I've made a practice of trying to ignore stuff that otherwise would drive me insane. As long as you know YOU are doing the right thing in YOUR heart the rest of the world shouldn't get to you.



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#12 Old 12-02-2008, 01:49 PM
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I feel EXACTLY the same miss_rae. It's not so bad with my family because I know the reasons they'd never go veggie are nothing to do with them not caring, they're just ignorant of the facts and even if they learnt, they're too old fashioned to give up meat. But I study animal behaviour & welfare at uni and I do lose respect for the other students who I know eat meat. Especially the ones that helped deliver the lambs in the Spring and then ate their flesh in October - those very lambs, the restaurant labels the meals if they come from our animals. Luckily in my group of friends 4 of us are veggie/pesci/vegan and only one is an omni, but she's been wavering since we started our Principles of Welfare course this semester. If she carries on the course next year I think we'll crack her.



I feel really isolated outside of uni, and sometimes within uni because the others aren't as "strict" as me - they eat gelatine or fish for example. When it gets really bad I do come to this board to let off steam a bit.
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#13 Old 12-03-2008, 05:44 AM
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Originally Posted by miss_rae View Post

People I have been friends with for YEARS that just turn around and say "oh, I don't really think about it" or "I'm not really concerned with that stuff". It's so disappointing to discover that I am slowly having less and less in common with everyone around me.



I'm starting to feel quite alone. Has anyone else been through a similar thing? It would be great to hear about.



Hey miss rae *hugs* it sounds awful what your going through , i can relate, i am lucky enough to have one friend who is vegetarian so she understands it all just fine. My other friends and my family however... another story!



My family drive me up the walls sometimes, they ask my reasons for choosing this so i tell them everything, how animals are treated etc, what exactly i think of eating 'meat' (or animal parts as it should be called), and they just think im weird, its a sad world when having compassion for animals is considered weird . They are always trying to convert me to omni, my brothers think its funny to wave plates of meat under my nose.



Most of my friends are impartial to it but a couple can be mocking about it sometimes



*hugs* judging by the comments on this thread though it sounds like its a universal thing we all have to endure, tc all *hugs* xx
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#14 Old 12-05-2008, 06:30 PM
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Ugh... I just got back in touch with my urge to be vegetarian and had that embarrassing conversation over lunch with coworkers, stumbling to find the right words to let them know that I'm a veg, but not get into the details while they were happily inhaling their mounds of turkey.



That's a wee bit off topic, but I feel your pain. The question I have come to ask myself over and over is, "Why don't I have any friends who are vegetarian?" But I really know the answer as I write. I grew up in the burbs, in a meat eating culture. I went to university, but found that I stayed in my own circle. I stayed a veg for about 10 years and then fell off the wagon.



I think its more about getting out and connecting with people who share the same values. Its much easier to do it on a message board than in real life. I think I'm going to put myself in places and situations where other veggies are likely to hang out and see what happens :-)
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#15 Old 12-05-2008, 10:01 PM
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I am sooo sorry that you have to deal with this.



This Honestly has never happened to me...I have the Best Supportive friends...Who dont agree with what I do....like animal rights and such...or me being a Veggie...but they are supportive for the most part...okay some not so much as others but we are like a big disfunctional family and it all works out in the end.



Peace Love and Happiness

Hippie Holidaze Everyone



Jenn
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